I've been pretty okay with my gender issues lately, not contemplating them too hard, trying to focus on what I can do as opposed to what I wish I could do, so on. But the other day I hit a wall...hard. I got a new game system yesterday and it came with a new microphone. I was streaming a game for my girlfriend and decided to try out the new mic. I didn't expect the reaction I got. She was taken aback. She said on this mic I didn't sound like a girl at all, that if anything I sounded like a flamboyant gay guy...

I...stopped. Literally it was like my mind just stopped. I turned the game off...I muted my microphone I had going on the skype call (different mic) and I just shut off. I don't think I've ever shut down or been so upset about anything so intensely....well ever. Now I can't stop thinking about it...what if my voice, one of the only female-esque things about me to fall back on in times of doubt, really doesn't sound girly...I was very happy with it but now I hate it...I don't know I'm just....very upset about everything all over again...I can't even finish meals because I just hit a point where everything seems pointless...

Another post where I don't really know what I'm expecting to get from replies, but I needed to tell this to people that understand. My girlfriend is sweet, but she just sees it as she said something that she shouldn't have and starts feeling very guilty about it...and that only makes me feel worse.

Ahh that reminds me of when I was at the start of transitioning. My brother called me and as we started talking he said " Danni, are you drunk?" I felt the same way afterwards. It sounds to me like you are in a good position here. After you two get over the shock perhaps you might want to to practice more with your  girlfriend listening. All I ever really did was speak in a higher pitch , sound out my words propperly and sing along with delta goodrum ect until the muscles in my throat held my voice box  up higher than it used too.
As a note to your GF. She didn't mean to hurt you but it is good to be honest.

Much depends on the quality of the microphone and their ability to pick up all the nuances of the human voice.  If you're having no problems with the one you were using for Skype calls I'd say that your new microphone is just plain rubbish.

well, from my point of view , I see myself as transgender and have nothing to be ashamed about , even my voice.

I agree, your girlfriend can help you and provide feedback.

You may want to check out  the voice therapy and surgery section and ask for a mic that can be use for voice training.

I know it hurts. hugs.

I actually looked up a comparison video of the mic I had and it definitely made the person's voice sound deeper, so maybe it was just that. Either way, I'm going to look more into voice training when I have more freedom to work on myself. For now I'll just have to try and not let this bother me too much. Thank you for all of your replies....this is been very hard on me...

Hi Rosalie

Darling, RELAX   This is a journey which takes time, and the voice will come.  You were playing a game; you had your mind on the game, so it's not exactly a huge surprise that your voice might have been not quite where you hoped it would be.   Like driving a car with manual gears, it's hard at first and then becomes second nature.  Don't let a tiny magnetic transducer ruin your day!

Hugs
Julia

One of my friends has a deeper voice, but over xbox live he sounds like he's voice takes on a cartoonish quality. That's just the way it is with those microphones.

Microphones are notorious for picking up the base tone of one's voice.  I remember when I first started my transition and I tried using the microphone, made me feel the same way you are experiencing right now.  The phone was worse.  What I found that was most helpful was humming to myself to warm up the vocal chords, I would do this in a more higher pitch of course, middle C and then upwards.  Cynthia's suggestion is a good idea as well.  I bought a CD on voice training and it did help along with the techniques of my own.  Patience is key here though, your voice will not change overnight.  Practice, practice, practice.  Infact if your girlfriend lives close by have her come over or you go over to her place and converse with her in a more female voice, it is always better in person rather than over a mic or phone, that was my experience anyhow.  I hope this helps some.

Angelgrl

Thank you for the replies ^^

I know that voice change takes time, and I want to work on mine more, but the reason this was so jarring for me was because everyone who hears me over a mic or phone thinks Im a girl, and that makes me feel great. So hearing that I sound...well not so much like one suddenly really throws me off

Hi!

Just throwing my two cents in!

Search and read about the proximity effect. Basically, the closer to a sound source a microphone is the beefier the lower or bass frequency becomes. It's often employed by radio announcers and singers when they want to fatten up their tone. It could help if you have your mic further from your mouth.

Georgia.

Ah yeah I've had some of these types of issues before. Like when I talk to one of my friends on Skype, I sometimes hear my voice coming from her computer and it sounds a lot deeper, more like my former voice. Definitely weirds me out and makes me uncomfortable but I know my voice sounds fine, so I try to shrug it off.