I was raised to call people Ma'am and Sir. Respect is very import for me in that way. The thing is, now that I've started to understand other trans people, I realize that a lot of people have a big problem with being misgendered by people on the street. So I worry about doing it now.

Personally, I don't really get mad at people for misgendering me. Especially strangers who don't know any better. (I do feel very strongly about people calling me a girl who know I'm trans, but that's different in my head.) Though I do feel awesome whenever they recognize me as a dude, I don't hold it against them if I get ma'am or miss. But I know a lot of people don't feel this way.

So is there a word I could use besides Ma'am or Sir?

When I worked with the public, I would often avoid use of anything pertaining to their gender or any honorific. A lot of people really don't care to be called ma'am or sir anyway. I did though often use it with elderly people as they seem most comfortable with the terms.

And I just mostly used eye contact to make sure they knew I was speaking to them and never had any issues. If I knew their name, I would use that.

If they have a name tag, I always use that. I also leave a 25% tip. That means I don't go out as much but they always remember me. You can always ask for their name. But here's the thing. I also use sir and ma'am and miss. Sometimes it is quite evident that someone is presenting themselves as the opposite gender that they appear to be. In those instances, make their day. That's a little easier with mtf's than ftm's because of the butch issue with many lesbians. But sometimes, it's pretty obvious what people want.

Chin up
Cimdi

I think eye contact is my go to.  I usually just "Excuse me-" about a million times while running after someone if I get ignored, ha ha... My family does not really do honorifics except calling someone with a PHD Dr. or Professor to be honest!  What can be useful too is if you have time introducing yourself and letting them do the same, then you can just use their name.  "Hello, I'm ___, let me know if I can help you with anything!" is usually just fine for most clients when I worked retail XD

I am also pretty chill with someone misgendering me, my mom is terribly oblivious and doesn't quite understand how this all works so it's just nice when a stranger "Sir's" me!  I still catch myself occasionally with pronouns with friends, I just tend to babble too much and my brain doesn't catch up easily.  I find using names helps a lot as it makes everything very clear unless you have two Saras or something XD

Quote from: marsh monsterWhen I worked with the public, I would often avoid use of anything pertaining to their gender or any honorific. A lot of people really don't care to be called ma'am or sir anyway. I did though often use it with elderly people as they seem most comfortable with the terms.

And I just mostly used eye contact to make sure they knew I was speaking to them and never had any issues. If I knew their name, I would use that.

This is exactly right, I think.

If you're going to be seeing someone more than once, or if it's in a relatively formal setting such as a medical one, it's always respectful to ask someone "What would you like me to call you?" or "How do you like to be addressed?"

Although you never know: when my partner's mother was looking into going into hospice (she was 96, and ready to check out), she met with a representative of the hospice agency, who asked her what she'd prefer him to call her. She looked at him with a twinkle in her eye and said "You can call me 'Honey!'"

I stick to the sirs and ma'ams. I was a cop for two years, so it's a tough habit to break. If someone took offense to it, I'd apologize and call them whatever they like. But my first inclination is always sir, ma'am, or their name if I know it.

It depends on the situation. I very, very much hate getting ma'amed or being called a lady. Because FTM reasons!
If the situation is fairly casual, I'd stick with folks, guys (depending on region), and you.
For anything formal, I'd ask for a name and use that. I don't ever use sir or ma'am, but I'm not often in situations where that would come up.
The worst is the fumbling and awkwardness. Try to be clear and make eye contact.
If I'm trying to get somebody's attention, I've resorted to "You! With the red shirt!" Rather than try to guess a gender.

Quote from: ftmax on March 30, 2015, 05:30:24 PM
I stick to the sirs and ma'ams. I was a cop for two years, so it's a tough habit to break. If someone took offense to it, I'd apologize and call them whatever they like. But my first inclination is always sir, ma'am, or their name if I know it.

Thanks. It's good to know I'm not the only one with the tough habit.

Also, as a side note, I'm in my late 20s and people younger or my age-ish I'm better about sir or ma'am ing. But it's my elders I can't seem to stop with. And strangers. Of course, I have no problem correcting myself when the situation calls for it. But I just feel like even with eye contact and stuff, there should be a sir/ma'am type gender neutral word or something. At least I wish there was.