After nearly a year of waiting, today is finally the day I will have my orchiectomy. A lot has happened in the past year... a lot of things I wish hadn't happened too, but I'm not sure there was much I could have done to change that. In the course of one year, I went from being very uncertain about where I was going with things, to deciding that a full transition was something I needed to be happy. Getting this procedure done isn't really an end, more of an intermediary step. I do still want to have GRS in the future, and to do everything else I can to be completely happy with my body. But this is all my insurance will cover, and if this is the best I'm ever able to do, I guess I can live with that. I'm just going to be happy to finally have this done, and to never have to think about the possibility of have male hormone levels in my body again.

But even though I never doubted that I wanted to have this done from the day I first stepped into my therapist's office, I came very close to canceling my surgery yesterday. Although my parents have been much more understanding about things since the beginning of this year, they still made it clear to me that they did not support my having this surgery, and did not want to be involved with it. And then about two weeks ago, my brother, the only one who has supported me from day one, tried to kill himself. He was hospitalized for about a week, and while this is not the first time he has been hospitalized for depression, this is the only time he ever made a serious suicide attempt. The worst part was, I didn't even see it coming. No one did really, it was a shock to everyone. In the past, I've always tried to keep an eye on him to make sure he was okay, but this time he was putting up such a strong front that even I didn't see through it. He has come out of it in one piece, and he's doing better now, and we're working on making changes to ensure things never get this bad for him again. But I still haven't slept soundly through the night since the morning I first found out about it.

And then yesterday, my Dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. We had known something was very wrong for a while now, but the progression was so slow, and in a lot of ways atypical for Alzheimer's, so we never looked into it as throughly as we should have. My dad was very resistant to the idea of looking into it too, and it was only within the past six months that the decline became so severe that it could no longer be ignored. He had an MRI about a week ago, and my mom went with him to hear the results this afternoon. Even though no one really believed the news would be good, we had still hoped that it would be something we could deal with, and maybe even treat. But the results said that he has already lost 1/3 of his total brain mass, and even the most optimistic prognosis doesn't give us much hope that he will be able to maintain where he is for very long, let alone get better.  My mom has really been devastated by this, and if my surgery wasn't scheduled so soon in the future, and it rescheduling it wouldn't create so many other issues, I would probably do it. She has been more against my surgery that anyone, and I would never have chosen this timing had I known what she would be going through. But, right now I feel that the best thing to do is to get this over with and make a recovery so it's not something anyone needs to think about anymore. Dragging this out would just create more tension, and it would delay other plans I've made to get my life back on track, which is not something I think would be a good idea right now.

*sigh*, so I am having surgery today, and that's all there is to it. I just hope everything goes well, and that I don't end up giving my family one more thing to worry about in a very difficult time...

Wow, sounds like you're having a tough time lately... good luck to you in your surgery and to your family in their hardships as well!

Good luck Honey.

It will all go well, I just know it

good luck

Tough times with so many family issues going on, but from my own experience with having orchi surgery let me tell you that you are going to feel so much better once those T poison glands are gone.

When anyone I knew asked me about how my surgery went I would reply, 'It was wonderful, - it's an operation I'd recommend to anyone,' which would make guys that had asked me that question look very uncomfortable indeed.

Wishing you a speedy recovery.  I would like to know how it goes, method used, anesthesia, etc..   if that is okay with you.

You have my sympathy with all the family issues. It can be trying, but hang in there. I can tell you are a woman of strong resolve.  I hope all turns out peacefully and well.

(Hugs)

Thanks everyone. The surgery went really well, and I'm not even in any pain right now. I did have some pretty bad nausea from the anesthesia, but that was actually the worst thing about it. Hopefully the pain doesn't get too bad when the local anesthetic wears off.

Quote from: Lady Smith on March 31, 2015, 02:51:45 AM
Tough times with so many family issues going on, but from my own experience with having orchi surgery let me tell you that you are going to feel so much better once those T poison glands are gone.

When anyone I knew asked me about how my surgery went I would reply, 'It was wonderful, - it's an operation I'd recommend to anyone,' which would make guys that had asked me that question look very uncomfortable indeed.

It's actually sort of funny, the whole surgery was so easy, and such a non-event, after all I went through to get to this point, it was pretty anticlimactic. I do feel a pretty strong sense of peace with myself though, which is a very nice feeling. Just to know I'm not going to need to be constantly fighting what my body naturally wants to do anymore in order to have the life I want, is really an amazing thing.

Quote from: herekitten on March 31, 2015, 12:09:50 PM
Wishing you a speedy recovery.  I would like to know how it goes, method used, anesthesia, etc..   if that is okay with you.

Well, I'm not sure exactly how the anesthesiologist put me under, but it was done under general anesthesia, so I was asleep for the whole procedure. Before I was completely unconscious they gave me something to help me calm down, which made everything seem nice and warm and fuzzy for a while. The procedure itself was a inguinal orchiectomy, meaning the incisions were made around my upper pelvis instead of the scrotum. This was important to make sure no tissue got damaged that would be used for GRS in the future. There were two incisions done on either side. I haven't looked at them closely yet to see how big they are, but the doctor did promise they would not be very large. You can find pictures of an inguinal orchiectomy on the Internet, but personally I would not recommend it. It's probably better to leave that one up to your imagination. After the surgery, I woke up with a small amount of pain, which they gave me some medication for, and some fluid since I was dehydrated and my blood pressure was a little low. I had some trouble speaking for a while because my throat was dried out from the medication they use to suppress saliva production, and it was also irritated from the breathing tube. They said that might take a day or two to feel completely better. The worst part by far was the nausea, but they also gave me some medication for that. The ride home was a little difficult, because I can get carsick even under normal circumstances, but I made it home without throwing up all over the car, and after sipping some orange juice I'm feeling a lot better. Right now, I'm actually amazed how normal I feel. I'm just hoping the pain won't be too bad, and if it's not, this surgery will actually have been an easier experience than the one I had to correct droopy eyelids (which was actually very painful).

Quote from: herekitten on March 31, 2015, 12:09:50 PM
You have my sympathy with all the family issues. It can be trying, but hang in there. I can tell you are a woman of strong resolve.  I hope all turns out peacefully and well.

Thanks, things have been hard around here for a while now, but you know, you do what you have to in order to survive. Sometimes that's really all there is to it.

Big hug! Congratulations on the surgery and I'm really sorry to hear about the family issues. Stay strong!

Hugs, Devlyn

Dayam, but you've had a lot to deal with. I am very sorry that you have all the other stuff going on during a positive major event in your own life. I'm happy to hear that it is done and you are in good spirits. I hope things work out with your family. It sounds really tough.

Cindi

Miyuki, hugs.

I hope you recover well and quickly.

I wish your family the best.

Congratulations Miyuki, - I'm glad the surgery went so well.  Rest, heal up and enjoy life without your own body trying to beat you up all the time.

Thanks again for all the support. I just want to give a quick update on how things have been going since the surgery. I did start to have some pain issues yesterday when the local anesthetic wore off, but the medication they gave me has kept it pretty well under control. It also makes me a bit sleepy though, so I've been taking things pretty easy for the past two days. I haven't taken any Androcur since the day before the surgery, and I am already noticing some positive effects from not taking it. I think it was actually keeping my body in a constant state of dehydration, and as it has been working it's way out of my system, I am not needing to drink as much, and my face seems to look more healthy. Before, it actually looked noticeably gaunt a lot of the time. I also feel like I have more mental clarity than I have had for a while, though that may also have to do with the sense of mental calm I've felt from knowing the operation is done and over with. I'm hoping once I've healed up and the pain gets better that I will have more energy too, since the blood tests I took before the surgery were actually showing that something (almost certainly the medication I was taking) was making me anemic.