Or TERRIFIED? 

I'd love to be smooth down there so my body matches what my mind see's
but thinking about the surgery is really scary.

I hope this is not a stupid question but I'm still trying to work through
things and I guess my question is, does it make me less TS if I don't
want GRS because I'm afraid of the surgery?

Or a better question is, how many of you started your transition not
thinking you wanted GRS and then changed your mind?

Amanda

It's a really good point and any operation for me is terifying.......I am also very scared of 'the' big operation.....it's not at all unusual..

I have a friend who is very long term M to F and looks really attractive and convincing and she doesn't want GRS.

I can't see how it can make you less TS and it really has little to do with overall female appearance...check my reply to this thread:

https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,21941.0.html

It is human nature to be afraid of such life altering surgery.  While I wasn't afraid of the surgery, I was still very nervous as it was the first time that I had ever had surgery of any kind.  Lets face it, this is "Major Surgery", and like other major surgeries there are always inherent risks involved.  I was personally very nervous about being under General Anesthetic so I opted to have my SRS done by epidural, and I was awake the whole time during my surgery.

The best way to combat the fear of the surgery is to look past it and concentrate on how your life will be once it's completed.  I myself find it had to comprehend why someone would transition and not want the surgery.  This topic has been discussed on the boards may times, but this is just my opinion and the expression of it is not meant as an invitation to other to hijack the topic of this thread.

Steph

I guess the real question (to me anyway) is what exactly are you afraid of?  Surgery in general, I think everyone is apprehensive about any surgery.  GRS, if so what are you nervous about just the idea of surgery or the permenance of the surgery?

Sarah L.

I'm terrified of the surgery itself. Not the RESULTS, but the idea of someone cutting into me... omg. I've seen videos of the op... and I wish I hadn't, lol. And I don't know why, but the thoughts of a catheter makes me want to throw up. Just.... ewwww!

BUT. I'm doing it.

As others suggested, ya gotta ask yourself what worries you? Is it the dangers and ickiness of surgery itself? Or the permanent results?

~Kate~

I mostly afraid of the surgery itself. But I guess a small part of me says
"what are you doing?". I think I just have some self-doubt that I need
to deal with but I'm so far away from that decision anyway.

I'd much rather appear feminine and FFS  for some reason does not scare
me as much as GRS. I guess I think of GRS as MAJOR surgery and FFS
is much more cosmetic.

As far as the permanence, I have no problems with that at all. I've never
hated Mr Winkie, but I also would not miss him.

I'm terrified of surgery, I focus on the result more than the means to reaching it.

FFS is as major as GRS, especially if your doing multiple ones. I got operated on 4h, while SRS with brassard is only 2.5h. If it goes wrong, you'll be seriously messed up in a very public way, while in the case of GRS, you only may know it went wrong.

Quote from: Keira on November 13, 2007, 01:49:18 PM

FFS is as major as GRS, especially if your doing multiple ones. I got operated on 4h, while SRS with brassard is only 2.5h. If it goes wrong, you'll be seriously messed up in a very public way, while in the case of GRS, you only may know it went wrong.

However the psychological effects of having either go wrong can be devestating.

Steph

I just do not like to be stuck, so the IV is the worst.

QuoteFFS is as major as GRS, especially if your doing multiple ones. I got operated on 4h, while SRS with brassard is only 2.5h.

I guess I'm thinking in my case FFS to be a rhinoplasty and cheek implants. I have a very feminine jaw line and my forehead is not
that bad and I'm hoping a little face fat from hormones might help. As far as FFS goes the forehead surgery really scares me. Is that the
most involved part of the surgery?

Hi,
    As most people have said concern over surgery is normal. Being scared is what has has been held many of us back for years. Scared to start RLT, scared what people will think etc. What scared me the most was NOT having SRS/GRS.
One thing..don"t watch a video of the surgery. What a mess. I went to menard back in 97 and a couple of people said lets watch the video. This was a day before our surgery. So all us pre-ops are in the living room watching this, and getting weird looks on our faces. A FTM started watching and after a few min said I seen enough....I'm going outside. But all went well for everyone. I have never had contact with any of those people from that time. For that week tho, we all talked and lived in the same house, and shared something special that we carry with us the rest of our lives.

May everyone live long and prosper for their srs/grs .

                                    Jennifer
 

Really, I would question the sanity of anyone who was not at least a little afraid of going through a surgery of that magnitude.  But as has been said, do you fear the surgery or the outcome?  If it is the latter, you should rethink having the surgery.  But if it is simply afraid of going under the knife, I wouldn't worry too much about that.

Best of luck!

Kristi

It is very normal to be frightened about any kind of major surgery.  I remember being so scared the week prior to my SRS.  I felt like I was going to leave my home forever; I guess that in the back of my mind, I thought I could die or something.  As others have pointed out, it is a pretty human response.

tink

I think fear over things we can't control is irrational. You could just as easily die in a car accident on the way to the hospital as in surgery. I have had four major surgeries and never felt any fear at all. I worked hard a t getting in great physical condition prior to the surgeries, followed all the pre-op instructions then left the rest up to my medical team and my higher power.

I was very apprehensive about this surgery and I had had two rounds of FFS previously.  I also worried that my fear
was a reflection of my not being truly TS.  I was nervous right up to the moment they put me out.  I had a panic
attack two days after the procedure worrying about the consequences of having such radical surgery (a bit late!).

That was two years ago.  Once I healed, I never looked back and I have no doubts now that I did the right.  I am
very happy with my result.  I have come to recognize that my fear was about changing my body in such a radical
way (and maybe it was Catholic guilt!) and I was worried about what it would mean for my major relationships.
Things worked out well for me but I would discuss your fears at length with your therapist to try define where
your fear lies. 

We can never be 100% certain we are doing the right thing but with enough therapy and self-reflection, I think
we can be reasonably sure.

Stormy

forget what the surgery is, its major surgery
if you arnt worried, THEN id be worried....
R

Quote from: Rachael on November 14, 2007, 06:10:34 AM
forget what the surgery is, its major surgery
if you arnt worried, THEN id be worried....
R

Spot on Rachael..

Fear is only productive when it helps spike adrenaline when threatened by a predator. Then there is the emotion of worry which is totally useless except to create age lines in one's face.

Positive outlooks create positive results.

Quote from: melissa90299 on November 14, 2007, 02:00:05 PM
Fear is only productive when it helps spike adrenaline when threatened by a predator. Then there is the emotion of worry which is totally useless except to create age lines in one's face.

Positive outlooks create positive results.

GRS is a huge major operation which doesn't unfortinitely go right every time and anyone who didn't worry about it would be surprising.