I'm just curious if others have had tis experience. I've been on a couple of lesbian date sites for 6 or 7 months and I'll get a lot of visits and a bunch of messages, but when I reply to the messages after being ask for my number so they can text me they never text me or if they do  they start out all right then after a few texts they stop. I put down I'm trans , but they never ask about that they just ask what I'm looking for. I tell them friendship and I never here from them again. Just wondering if they are just playing or something else. Personally I don't care because I don't expect to find anyone through dating sites its more of an experiment for me, but I just wondering after so many seem interested then abruptly stop messaging , if they might just be playing around with a trans.

I can't answer your question, but as someone who uses a dating site, I have to tell you that your remark about using other people as an experiment made me feel icky. Then the part about "they might be playing around" well, isn't that what you're doing?  Don't take it the wrong way, everyone is free to use the sites the way they want.

Hugs, Devlyn

I haven't quite made it to that base yet.

It's an experiment for me to find options for my life. If I found someone interested in me , I'd want to explore all possibilities. It's not like being a lab worker injecting proteins into a mouse to see the reaction. I've been alone for a long time , experimenting for me is like trying to find as many options in life before the final tick of the clock sounds and my existence on this patch of rock floating in space comes to the  final last barbecue .

your telling people on a dating site you just want friends than they stop talking..sorta like if I made a restaurant that said seafood but when people came in I sold cheeseburgers they would leave...not trying to sound smart but that's probably why

I experienced this a bit before I came out. I was using several sites, but I was very noncommittal about everything because I knew I was going to start transitioning and didn't want to have any drama involved. My conversations would rarely get past the phone number exchange or first day of texting. If I had to point the finger at anything on my end, it would be my lack of drive to want to meet anyone in person.

As far as other people though, you have to remember that dating sites are big spaces, and they're likely conversing with several people at once until they find one (or a few, let's be real) to get a little more in depth with. If you aren't fitting what they're looking for, they're probably talking to someone else who is and they're cutting their losses.

It does suck when you're just looking for friends, but that's not really the purpose of dating sites. You'd probably have better luck on Facebook groups.

Maybe they just want to experience us because they have some fetish and don't want a friendship... They are not different than ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s men.

Hi,

if you understand these women and know a bit about them youll know what they are looking for ,

for many its a once or more nights out and time together in a relastionship type friendship or time in the bedroom ,

some are hard liners and wont have a bar of any who have a smell of male about them wether your born a male or other = crossdresser or Trans or like myself I know because I have met many and talked to many and still do and have some as friends ,

Face to face and on a good few forums = dating , I know how they think and know their attitudes  a few are lovely friends and yes we can talk about any thing ,my difference is being female and they know my background and its not an issue . yet for some its a major and you wont be a friend to or with them , just the way they are .

An other thing is many don't have a friendship or relastionship for very long many are unstable and don't have mates for long and are continuly changing from one to another ,

Again I know because of being around them and getting to know them , so if you wont a stable friendship ,mate or partner you may not find one and being a dresser trans or like myself  look some where else ,

sorry its not a good outlook its just as it is ,I would know some 300 women and quite a few men  gay of cause with in the dating and large groups iv been involved with over the last few years ,

Now myself , I doubt I would find a woman =gay=  who would be interested in myself  from what I see and know ,

When im asked ?s im upfront no lie,s just what I am and most know as my profiles state im an intersexed female and have spent some time answering and explaining my difference , and many have not heard of or know any thing about us  and the same goes for those with in the LGBT groups so has been quite good  remember im well known on many forums  so others know I will answer their  ?s  and they are pleased I do ,

hope this has helped and at least gives you some idear,

...noeleena...

It helps answer some questions. I was just wondering why it seemed so many similar reactions. I did notice a couple seemed to be interested in sex.

I think this is just typical of dating sites in general. With women and couples I've noticed this happen quite often, and with men they take it a bit further but then don't end up meeting. I don't take it personally though... I'm hot and awesome so it must be them.

Did you check what criteria they had?on dating sites you can see what their preferences are,some are looking for dates some friendships,casual dating etc.also I've had the experience on one dating site,all people wanted to do is email or chat online flirt etc. that was a "freebie"site. Then I went on a site where to chat to someone it cost you money to initiate an internal email.these sites often attract more serious people who want some sort of relationship as it affects the hip pocket.

Well you might have a look at meetup... there might be lesbian groups in your vicinity... or fb...
remember to use basic safety measures, like meeting in a public place first...

there are a few ideas to meet other lesbians... you might visit sports events with female players... there might be lesbian spectators... or visit concerts with singers lesbians tend to like...
there might be groups and events at the next lgbt center near you...
and you might have a look at okc or pof for example, and get a bit active yourself... looking up who in your neighborhood looks for friendship, too, and contact them...
and well don't forget to filter... its you right to say no, in a nice way of course, if you have a feeling its not the right person...

hugs

No being funny but if you are going on a dating site with no intention of dating then you are kind of a time waster, at least from the point of view of people looking for relationships. I find it quite frustrating to spend time talking to someone who isn't serious about dating, and I'd stop messaging if that was the case.