Hey everyone my name is Tess and I'm a 17 year old female trapped in a male body. I made this account so I could help others and receive a little bit of help.

When I was about a month old I had a surgery to save my life. It wasn't a risky surgery but if the problem hadn't been detected I would have died. Skip ahead four years to a town called Waterloo and you'd probably find me playing barbies with some kid whose name I can't even remember. Play with that kid is all I remember about living there because we moved before I was even 5. Once we got to our new house I was terrified. I was always a really shy person and all the change didn't help and when the neighbors came over to say hi I just hid behind my mom shaking. My dad wasn't making thinks any easier. He would beat me almost every day and hold me by my throat yelling at me. School wasn't much better at first. The teacher tried to get me to play with the other boys but they seemed to be able to tell that I wasn't like them and started picking on me. I ended up just standing by the teachers desk whenever the other kids were playing for about a week until one of the girls asked if I wanted to play with them and I eventually fell back into my old routine of playing barbies with the girls. Until around second grade when the girl wouldn't hang out with boys and the boys all hated me so I was just alone until 6th grade which had made me really depressed and I started cutting myself. In sixth grade a girl named Andrea moved to our school and we became friends pretty quick. I ended up telling her everything. It made her really happy. I was kinda confused by her reaction at first but she was just glad that she had someone to talk about guys with and do girl stuff. My life had pretty much been the same sense then except I stopped cutting. I'm about to turn 18 and I'm still hating everything about my body and hoping that I wake up as a girl. Part of me wishes that I would've just died when I was a baby.

Tl;dr - my life has had a lot of low points and I want my body to be female so it matches my brain.

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Je suis un être humain,Popcorn?

Hugs

Hi Tess, Welcome to Susan's. I look forward to seeing your around the site. Hugs and good luck.
Mariah

Hi Tess, welcome aboard 

I'm sure you'll feel at home here... Look forward to seeing you around 

L Katy

Hi Tess - welcome to the forums!

Quote from: ItsTess on April 06, 2015, 09:58:20 PM
I'm about to turn 18 and I'm still hating everything about my body and hoping that I wake up as a girl. Part of me wishes that I would've just died when I was a baby.

Many of us have been through similar feelings. As trans people it's not an easy journey we take in this life (sadly with no magical short cuts) but it still offers many opportunities to be fulfilling and happy to make it all worth it in the end.

Hi Tess 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Hi Tess, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. We've all had low points, and yes, I read your whole post, not just
the tl;dr part! I'm glad you're not cutting, but I understand it and why you were. If you  ever need to talk before you
do it, write me. I'm always around. See you on the boards!

Hugs, Devlyn

Hi Tess,

Welcome to Susan's.