I honestly don't even know how to start this one. Going up to someone and saying "I know I might not look like it but I'm actually a female." should be really easy but I can't do it. I've tried so many times but I always end up dragging out the conversation and waiting for a good time to say it then when a good time actually comes up I can't talk at all, I've even had an anxiety attack once when I tried to tell my mom. Even if I did manage to get the words out I wouldn't know what to do next. She'd probably ask me something like "How do you know your trans?" And I wouldn't have any answer that she would understand. Being a guy is just completely wrong for me and I'd rather die than live the rest of my life like this but she wouldn't understand. Don't get me wrong I have one the most accepting mothers in the world but it can't get myself to tell her.

Any ideas on how I could do this without hating myself for it? I want to do it in person and verbally too so writing letters and stuff like that is out.

Look over the Reference Library will give hints to help

https://www.susans.org/reference/index.html

Two ideas:

1.  Presentation helps. If you do something that makes you look female. Flower in your hair. fake breasts, frilly top, or some feminine accessory like a purse, scarf, or jewelry. Let it speak for you.
2. Instead of saying I'm actually a female, simply correct their pronoun. If someone pronouns you male, or calls you Mr., correct them. Otherwise, doesn't really matter, right?

Hope this helps. In the end, for me this was a major impetus toward transition, so I'd never need to do that sort of explaining.

I know it seems impossible, but when you just tell her, it will become so much easier to talk to her. I agree with the tip of looking more feminine, but in reality you just gotta get past that first step. Good Luck!