i need a new job -.- mines is tiring but glad i got more hours. yay me

The first day of spring for KATs is this coming Saturday.

Winter is coming starting on Monday.

Spring? Someone lives in a crazy world.

I was thinking about my team in Manila today and one of them pinged me later in the afternoon.
Been really busy but looks like they want me to go back later in the year for an extended time.

Will have to wait and see. They are good people and Manila was much better than I expected.

am I so different that I become invisible?

I'm thinking about how much there is left of transition. Honestly the thought is quite overwhelming...there's a likely chance I will need a revision on my chest, which is fine as I totally expected that might be the case given the approach we were taking. I'm fine with that. But then there's removing all the internal organs...which as far as I am concerned is non-negotiable to keep the risk of cancer down. Then there's the genital surgery itself...which depending on what I choose could be like a 2 or 3 part surgery. So that's like 5 surgeries.

And of course as I think about that I think about all the things I can't really do until all that is done. I won't swim or be shirtless at all until the chest is done, and even at that, it depends on the scars. I won't show scars. And in terms of dating...well, I'm girl crazy so there's a good chance if someone pretty and great comes along I will go for the girl without bottom surgery. But, at the same time, I can't really fathom dating a woman with what I currently have either. I wouldn't be stealth to a romantic interest but it's a matter of personal comfort. So that's going to be what? Like 5 years?

But then there is the whole glass half empty vs glass half full discussion. So I can't swim or go to the beach...doesn't stop me from doing any winter activities, or tons of other stuff where you generally should be clothed lol. And if I don't date...well, my life is different now than it was before. Prior to starting HRT, romantic interests were my main form of support since with estrogen, I did not get along well with others. But I can form friendships more easily and authentically now. So I can have close friends. It's also just a hell of a lot easier to navigate the world now that I don't hate everything and everyone so much.

I'm thinking that writing a love poem to my girlfriend and accidentally sending it to my ex is probably not the best thing I've ever done... really .....

^ lol, that should be interesting!! Good luck

Listening to Jamestown Story's " In Loving Memory" made me think. People who say they will always be there for you are just full of it. That line has been the biggest crock of ->-bleeped-<- I have ever heard! I have yet to have anyone in my life who has actually kept that promise. I think that is part of why I enjoy being on the road. I'm not out here to make friends because they do nothing but hurt you in the end. I've wanted to be proven wrong but no one has done it yet.
Maybe I just need to stop being so nice and polite, just start telling people to F off!

Speaking of trucks, I love my new truck. I miss my big rig Kenworth but this Freightliner expedite truck is nippy, I don't have to worry about a trailer and it has a full size fridge/ freezer and sink. The bottom bunk folds up into the wall and there is a table and 2 bench seats that pop up from below. I could be happy with one of these of my own.
I drove 733 miles in one day during my shift. I hauled ass! It broke my last personal best of 668.9 miles. And aside from Maine and the Carolinas, I have been to every other state in the continental US. Right now I am sitting at a TA in Denver Colorado.

I'm a girl that's going places. Heehee.

And since Canada isn't really all that far away from me..

*waves cheerfully*

HII BIRKIN.

What to do about my thin arms, especially forearms! D:

Quote from: DragonBeer on April 11, 2015, 10:16:59 AM
What to do about my thin arms, especially forearms! D:

Curls!

I do actually have rather naturally curly hair

I wish mine  curled more than it does, Mine just waves at people unless I cut it short.

A regular who I haven't seen in a long time came in to work today.
"Oh you look different have you done something with your hair?"
Mmm I wonder what has changed since he last saw me (Actually I didn't think I had changed that much besides the obvious, but for him to comment ment they must be obviously working)

I've come to realize that I enjoy driving a truck more than I thought I would. I'm going to buy my own someday. And I may just give up my pursuit of becoming a VFX artist. As much as I love the graphics work I do, there are too many artists out there, not enough jobs. I may be able to start my own trucking business eventually.

i don't know when i started, all i know is that i have developed a tendency to put on a paper-thin smile in all kinds of situations where appropriate. It's a way of infectiously keeping my spirits up in all kinds of situations and is thin enough to show i'm still quite pissed off. It seems to work as long as i take my meds too. Guess that advice wasn't so ridiculous after all. Keeps me from hitting complete rock bottom.

I definitely do not want to primarily work with children for a career.  I work with children at my job, and last week, these two little boys where raising their voice loudly, saying "Hey you, are you a boy or a girl?!  Hey you!" in front of everyone  It was so embarrassing.  It makes me want to appear more feminine for the time people, just so I can avoid the hassle.  Heck, it is not like I was even dressing masculine when that happened  I considered my clothes to be gender neutral, and my braids are actually pretty feminine.  I guess I better prepare for more if this, since getting top surgery will only make this a more common (and maybe even a more hostile) situation for me.

oh crap, its a king o: time to do something unruly xD haha!

I had a nice weekend getaway aboard the Queen Mary.  It has quite a reputation for being haunted. This morning the shower went on all by itself.  Hmm...

Do not throw up Skyler...keep it all down right now...just relax and keep it down you have a full day of college ahead of you.