Hey Auroramarianna, I honestly believe it is harder on the other side, mainly because of 'men are meant to be macho' ideals and how being female is still a second class ticket in many places. Perhaps it isnt "lucky" in all respects, pre-transition I wasnt particularly beautiful and Im not essentially that right now but I feel i look a lot better. My social life isnt amazing, I literally have to rely on my mum to drive me to my clubs etc because I got so worried about how the world would react to my change, alongside other issues, that i shut myself up away from the world. I still cant open my bedroom curtains in the morning but Im slowly getting out of it, I managed to walk to my dentist in the neighbouring town yesterday!
I do know what its like not to have a parent accept you but i couldnt possibly conceive losing both, in all fairness I never particularly got on with my father and he lives far away so i literally just cut him off because i really didnt need his opinion on what he thought of me and what his church thought of me. I hope that in time theyll accept you and love you for who you are. Perhaps there is some way you can tone down the femme-ness? It sounds like its causing a lot of problems and internal pain. I think an outlet/hobby of some sort would possibly relieve some of it and then hopefully you'd make some friends and rebalance your life. I cant help with HRT & SRS, but clothes I may be of some assistance: Personally my clothes have always been male/unisex par underwear but when I first began transition a lot of my clothes had connatations of being the other sex ie my turquoise skinny jeans werent usually worn by guys or my normal-looking t-shirt had my street-dance crew's name on it (and it was an all-female troupe), and i came out around my birthday in January so I had birthday & xmas clothes. I basically sold them on ebay (brand-new/nearly new clothes) and gumtree (odds and ends and old stuff) and made about £150 which i spent on getting new clothes. Also charity shops are good, and friends/cousins who dont want certain clothes are even better! Just be aware that your parents may take those clothes and get rid of them
(im assuming you still live with them) And as for the cute guy - hes out there somewhere waiting for you
Quote from: sam1234 on April 03, 2015, 10:55:49 AM
You might run into some problems with the guys, though not major ones. I've always thought that was in part because a lot of the development of character and how we relate to each other happens during puberty, and being an F to M, you obviously couldn't go into the locker rooms where some of that stuff occurs or even just hanging out and doing the normal young guy braggart talking that goes on. Guys tend to act differently if there is a girl in the group regardless of how much of a tomboy she may be. I found that part a bit difficult at first and had to figure it out.
There are little things that you might miss out on as far as behavior and language, but as you get older, that doesn't matter as much. What is hard is going places with a bunch of guys, say hiking, camping or fishing where there are no available outhouses. That has kept me from doing those things. I have most of the bottom work done, but not the urinary hook up and lets face it, you can't say you have to crap every time you need to take a leak. There are devices to help with standing urination that the folks here have helped me out with, but they do take practice, and i sure wouldn't want to be in close proximity to another guy since they don't look like much more than a plastic tube. It doesn't seem to bother guys to walk up to a couple of trees three or four feet apart and both pee. Not that they would look over, but i sure wouldn't take the chance.
You'll work out the little things. Consider yourself lucky that your family was so accepting. Mine was as well, and though that may make you feel like it was less of a journey, its beats the heck out of having your folks throw you out.
sam1234
Hey Sam1234, Ive actually been in the male locker rooms several times, gym and sports lessons and 90% of my friends do not know my past. I basically developed a strategy in which im already changed for my lesson and everyone observes it as part of my lazy nature, I just change my jacket and trainers and im good to go. They dont question my lacker of showers in public because after the gym/sports many of us go home for our showers so we dont miss the bus.
I was aware of the tomboy issue back when i considered myself a tomboy and realised that the guys did treat me a little differently but I can clearly tell the difference between that and how they treat me now. It helps that those that do know my past I do not do sports with, and if that ever were the case I would change my timetable to avoid them feeling awkward because thats what friends do.
I actually study language and behaviour. Although complex looking it really falls into 2/3 catergories for teen guys: be bold/brassy/loud/cocky or be nice/shy/reserved or be a mix of those two with your dominant side being the latter. If all else fails just be you with an antisocial streak. This obviously depends on your ability to pass.
As for hiking/fishing etc etc. Firstly I dont really do that, and when I do, do it its with a mix of males and females. When we go camping (again a mix of boys and girls) theres always a block of toilets which the other guys use for taking a leak, so i do the same. The only thing i ever get a little concerned with on these outings are the gay guys, I have a bit of a femme aura around me, so id have a slight problem if they ever tried to dive into my pants only to find not quite what they were wanting to find :S
. So usually flirting with the girls tends to get the message across to them. I know im hugely lucky because my family accept me and a few issues definately does beat being thrown out.
I hope all your bottom work goes well.
Gentleboy
