Sorry, this is quite different from my usually upbeat posts but it has been playing on my mind a bit this last week - I think my estrogen implant is starting to run low or something.

Anyway - I've been considering how my sister and father have treated me since I came out and transitioned. My sister at least will call me Grace, my father won't even do that. In the last year I've seen my sister once, my father twice and we all live less than 20ks from each other. I haven't seen my sister's kids in that time either, the two eldest boys know and are "accepting" but the youngest girl (now 10) doesn't know and in fact has been told by my sister that I "had to go away for work" as an excuse for why she can't see me at the moment. WTF? I mean, seriously?

A lot of people who commit murder and are convicted and sent to prison can get often more support from their family members.

I'm really confused here - I haven't murdered or assaulted anyone, haven't pushed drugs, haven't embezzled or blackmailed... and yet I feel I'm being treated worse by them than had I done stuff like that instead. Does that make sense? All I've done is live my life as myself to be true to myself, I'm not hurting anyone and yet they treat me worse than a criminal, like I'm someone to be ashamed of and lie about.

If they needed me I would be there for them. I have been there for them in the past. I was a regular part of their lives, but now they'd rather I didn't exist - or at least that's what it feels like.

Thursday morning I was quite down, started crying over my breakfast because of this. Fortunately I'm happier, on a more even keel now, I have put it back in the "whatevs" basket for the time being and feel able to write about it instead.

Family!

At least my mother is on my side.

This may not help. Sorry.

I walked away from my mum and dad when I was seventeen. They loved me, but could not accept me. I came to Australia, when they died I never even sent flowers.

I was wrong.

I have a curse. At times I hate it. I have a large capacity to love unconditionally. Maybe from my rejection.

I can never understand how people cannot love. Yet I failed.

I hope I never wronged, I'm sure I have.

Why are we wronged, hated, seen as freaks. It is obvious from even this forum that the desire to love and be loved is paramount for many of us, even to a pathological state.

Yet I still start and finish each of my public talks with; we are not monsters, we are not freaks. We are just human.

One day, maybe I'll believe it.

Hugs for both of you, hugs all around! I'm in the same boat as Cindy. I suspect I'd be in the same boat as you, too, Grace, but my parents are long gone and I'm not out to my sister yet. She lives far away and I want to tell her in person, or so I tell myself.

I feel that Grace is slightly in low mood under influence of estrogen, but I am not sure.
Even if I am a cis-gender person, there still should be a few people who would not understand and accept me for some other reasons.

Among my family members, one of my sisters has been bigoted, and likes to argue with me. But anyway she likes to argue with my father and others, too, including her husband. It is her problem, not mine. Oh. Her husband also avoids me by citing my crossdressing. He does not have a job, and just stays at home. It is also his problem, not mine.

Yes. Those people who have their own problems in living in a society tend to use me as an excuse or a scapegoat to justify their own misery. I do not allow it.

barbie~~

It makes no sense Grace. None at all.

All you can do is just keep doing the things you do. I really hope that they can come to their senses sooner rather than later.

I used to complain to my Mum about my brothers, - 'I haven't robbed a bank, I haven't killed anyone, - so why do they hate me?'  The worst thing though was that they rejected Mum as well because she supported me and accepted me as being her daughter.

Families (sigh)

>>>>HUGS<<<< Grace.  Perhaps it was your E implant starting to run on fumes, but the hurt was still there and that's where the tears came from.

Yeah it makes no sense. I have always been a caring, empathetic and understanding "son/brother" as their daughter/sister I believe I would be even more so and yet they just don't want to make an effort to know me and that really hurts.

I always feared I would lose family over this. Doesn't lessen the hurt.  At least I have my mother - I'm sure she'd rather I wasn't trans but she isn't cutting herself off from me over it, meanwhile my sister and father are treating me as if I pretty much dead to them.

I know people are saying not to push them away in case they change their mind but this hurts, it is a deep, deep betrayal and I don't know how much longer I can continue to give a $#*& about them.

Sorry, expecting to get my next E boost in about two weeks!

You've every reason to be annoyed and upset!

It's good though that your mum is onside. Hopefully the good doctor can assist in a couple of weeks' time....!

Hugs Grace
It does seem as though we are segregated like criminals or sexual deviants, which of course we are not. Family is one of our closest bonding in life, after all they are the first we feel near to us when we breath for the first time. Love should be unconditional, yet we find it is not.
It's reasonable to suffer a little shock when we transition, but we are still the same person that was birthed and grew up with. I guess some of it is what others will say about you around them and their kids, I suspect they try and protect their kids against any risk of taunting at school or other group places, no excuses tho, we are who we are, we are known for who we are, regardless of any protective views by parents.

Out of all rejections by the family is the worst...

I really feel for you, but you do still have relationships there...
I pray that over time things will improve, in the meantime you have all of us here 

L Katy 

Hi Cindy, ouch really touched by what happened, so sorry for you.
But your strength, wisdom and sharing of your life is very inspirational to us all.

L Katy 

I am so sorry Grace. You are such a lovely person.

I never realized people would shun their own family. When I first learned about transgender and family I always assumed family may laugh and giggle but not totally disown people.

Grace, I'm so sorry they are treating you this way. I hope someday they finally come around for you and want to know you in the meantime it's there loss not yours even if it seems like it's the other way around. In the meantime it's our privilege to be on the receiving of having such wonderful caring and sincere person around. Hugs. Fingers crossed that someday they get it.
Mariah