I can remember mourning for what might have been if I had been born female, I can remember mourning for the loss of the life I might have had if I'd continued to live as a male.  Transitioning shakes everything that you are around exactly like it's a second puberty, - and we all know how much puberty knocked us around the first time.  Who can really say what my life might've been like if I'd been born female, all I know for certain is the life I've lived.

Hi ChiGirl,

As others have said, I try not to worry anymore about the past.  I can't do much about it. 

But I do think that science is getting to the point where we'll probably see real progress in ways to reverse the effects of aging.   I'm betting that within the next 10 years, someone will have figured out how to repair skin to look like the skin of a 20 year old. 

Maybe I'm dreaming, but you never know you may get a sip at the fountain of youth yet.  So you may not be able to be 20 again but you may get to have the body of a 20 year old with the wisdom of age.

Take care,
Paige

Like many have said, it is hard to not think about on occasions yet I also think that in reality being in my 20's would be more of an issue. At the age of 20-29 financially you may be lucky to make rent and a car payment, let alone buy a new wardrobe and deal with that head ache. I will say that some of the clothes I see would be a bit more practical to wear if I was in my 20's but I have to work with what I got.

I try to not look back and what if myself as the few times I have the road map really gets all messed up.

I transitioned at 51.

Sometimes I see young women and I think of what I missed being forced to live a different life. But then I realize that different life I lived led to the person that I am today, so living my old life had some worth.  There are things I know how to do that a lot of women don't know anything about, and there are things I have an insight into that biological women never will have.

Ultimately, there ain't a thing I can do about my missed experience now, so no need to worry about it. I finally got to the destination; I just got there a different way 

And.... what Jill said 

Started at 43' surgery at 49, living life at 50

This is something that I worry about every day.  Im 43, haven't started HRT and wanting to relive my youth so I feel that time wasn't wasted. 

I tend to sabotage myself over and over.

Thanks for the responses everyone.  I think it's a great discussion.  I think we all look back whether we're transgender or not and think about missed opportunities and decisions we wish we hadn't made.  But when I start fretting about that, I think about my dad's saying: "You can't should've."  Then I think k about all the wonderful things I have to look forward to.

P.S. Don't tell my dad.  I don't want him to think I actually listen to his advice. [emoji6]

I mean in many respects I don't dress my age and I have fun doing it. I do wish I could be a woman in my 20s though. Would have been nice. But I'm a woman in my 30s which is close enough.

Well for me at 45 and still trying to put together a means of transitioning, I at time have chest pain when I think about what should have been if I was made correctly.

Yes indeed! Have often thought of the what ifs, and could ofs should of beens If only perceptions, acceptances,  how all this inbred aghast
could have been avoided..How much more fulfilling my life could have been!..., problems; attempted suicides and drug/ alcohol
abuses and their assosiated problems avoided..
At my last therapy session my therapist came back to my above with a..yes but; you might have been hit by a bus!

I feel like  I wasted so much time not being honest with myself. It seems like it would have been so much easier younger. But I guess with FFS and SRS a nip or tuck isn't much more. I was amazed at some of the transitions by older people. They looked way younger and so happy.

Ditto here, I wish I could have transitioned right after getting out of the military at 23, but never had the courage or resources, mostly courage. I halfway tried at 26 years old or so, but stopped, due to family/work situations. At 44 years old, I started transitioning, but by then, my health was failing, mostly is why I regret I did not transition in my 20's,, but I'm way more stable now then I ever was in my 20's. I traded my youth for stability, but my good health for some health ailments. One can only focus on the positives, and not dwell so much on the what if's, since it will never be known.

My 2 cents.

None of us can go back in time. We can only go forward. I hated every minute of puberty & my dear mother did what she could in those days for some type HRT so I could become more of her daughter............... Just do what you can to remove all the bad t stuff & enjoy estrogen to become as much of a woman as you can. All else will fall into place. Good luck GF & to us all.