Whenever I'm having a down day I remember what a friend told me about a Buddhist description of heaven.  It goes along the lines of...
We are all sitting at a long table heaped with food.  A real olde world banquet.  The only things we have to eat with are long chopsticks, very long chopsticks, like the length of your arm.  If we struggle to get food in our mouth it usually ends up really messy and we go hungry. That's Hell.  If, however, we use the chopsticks to feed the person sitting opposite us it all goes swimingly and we all get fed.  That's heaven.  Well I think in trying to do that today I poked one of my co-workers in the eye with a chopstick.

Needless to say It involved me saying the word 'transsexual' aloud in a crowded room, it's amazing how quickly a hush can fall.
Tomorrow should be interesting.
BFKate

QuoteNeedless to say It involved me saying the word 'transsexual' aloud in a crowded room, it's amazing how quickly a hush can fall.

And at the most inopportune moment.

It probably wasn't funny at the time but I must admit that picturing the situation brought a smile to my face. Hope it turns out alright.

Shelley

Somehow I'm kind of picturing a crowded bar with music blaring as you are trying to tell a friend, "I'm a Transexual" and they keep saying What? What? What? and then just as the music stops you are yelling as loud as you can  I'M A TRANSSEXUAL!. Talk about suddenly becoming the center of attention.

Cassie

Hi Shelley,
Glad it made you smile... 

Hi Cassie,
Yeah It was a lot like that moment...minus the Music 

Things turned out SO well. I am going to ramble, I can feel it coming...apologies but I just have to. When I left work yesterday(it was actually Day 1 of a 2 day training seminar) the atmosphere was a wee bit tense.  So despite my usual laissez-faire self I was feeling a bit trepidatious. After all one had poked ones muckle great feet through the accepted Social fabric - as they say.  The West of Scotland isn't exactly renowned for it's warm and open attitude to,  well, anything...but I won't get into that just now.  My head was full of "Hey ho, here we go," as I went to work expecting to have to adopt my 'Freakchild in the corner' persona.  This is a new-ish job so although generally I'm out I don't shout about it.  If people ask they get more than they bargained for. Maybe that should be SOMETIMES I wait till asked. A little background  I work in Social Care with groups of vulnerable adults.  Yesterday someone expressed a position that there are individuals who don't have any right to equal treatment, because of their 'lifestyle'.  Which gave rise to me poking them in the eye with my chopstick.  Back to today. 
I get there early...nothing like laying an ambush for giving you the upper hand.  So I'm nice and relaxed when other people start to come in - earwitnesses who heard the T word yesterday.  Nervous smiles...coffee.  Then one of them came up to me and said "Kate...I've got my own stuff going on and I wish I could be as open and honest as you...(person X) really annnoyed me too..."
Then a bit later, another one says something along the lines of "It just shows you...it really is just about getting exposed to things..." and we were off and running, me yapping about ts/tg stuff.  Then she told me about when she worked in a clothes store and a guy came in to buy a dress for himself...she really admired the guts that must have taken.
As Dr Who might say, It was FANTASTIC.

But the icing on the cake for me was when the Woman fascilitating the course Asks me during our coffee break "So are there LGBT services or a group locally?...we should know about them..."  Then she comes out to me!  She was a volunteer at an LGBT service in a large, faraway, Emerald city at the end of a yellow Brick Road...(Glasgow) I was blown away.  It was as near perfect a day as I have ever had at work.  Walked home on a cloud.  It was beautiful.

The moral of the story?  If you're going to poke someone in the eye with a chopstick make it a bloody long one.  >
BFK

That's great Kate. Glad to here it turned into a positive experience after all. Like we often say around here, people will surprise you.

Cassie

Please feel free to ramble Kate not only do I love to read stories with a great outcome but I also love your writing syle. (The smile still hasn't left my face)

Shelley

Hey there Kate,

Chop sticks, who would have thunk.  What a wonderful out come for a coming out   Yes people can surprise you that's for sure.  I too can picture Cassie's description of how that original scene may have looked.  If you are going to do it, do it in style.  It's too true what some of your colleagues mentioned, we're are just normal everyday people, nothing to be scared of at all.  Well some are a little more flamboyant than others   It's amazing how far little knowledge will go and the good that it does.  Silver linings to be sure.

Keep us posted.

Steph

Kate, your post was just great.  I have read quite a bit about Buddhist philosophy (among others) and I have never run across the chopsticks story.

I'm also heartened by your success.  What a thrill that must have been and what a huge step forward.  It gives me hope that if or when I come out at work, it will come out better than I anticipate.  I haven't been hopeful about that and this really helps.

thnx
helen

Kate,

great story.  Thanks for sharing. 

Quote from: Cassandra on January 19, 2006, 04:02:29 PM
and then just as the music stops you are yelling as loud as you can  I'M A TRANSSEXUAL!. Talk about suddenly becoming the center of attention.

hahahahah that struck me as totally hilarious.  it makes me wonder though - would anyone really consider coming out to someone in a bar?  I can't imagine telling anyone in a public place.

Joseph

Whats wrong with a bar?

A long timeago I was asked over a beer if I was a man.  I just looked down and said there ain't a XXXX in my pants so she stuck her hand down them to find out.

She was the one that was embarassed, not me.  We ended up in the restroom stall so she could show her apologies.

Hi Leigh,

You have to be careful of the cistern when someone apologizes like that.  Think there's been more than one accidental concussion against the porcelain.  A few of my friends have the lumps to prove it.

I'm getting better and better at coming out to people, though like I said in my earlier post, sometimes coming out for me just involves walking into a room and introducing myself.  Let's just say the phrase 'as pretty as a picture' and my name NEVER appear together in the same sentence. However the phrase 'as pretty as an airport' was used about me once.

It's the sense of freedom I love about coming out.  It sort of answers all the questions in one phrase.  I've found that my most vulnerable times have been those when I kept quiet about my history. 

Thats not to say being open doesn't have it's drawbacks.  It only takes a visit to the Remembering our dead site to know the risks to T people are very real. Though thankfully less common all the time ( I hope)

BFKate