Well just as the title says. My name was very unique and was a central part of my identity. It was so unusual (and my personality apparently "quirky") that my name became a sort of verb and adjective to describe things related to my life or just generally weird. Nobody has called me my birth name in months. It's not an appropriate name for a man, but it feels like I lost my hat or my glasses or something that made me unique. Does anyone struggle with this? How do you fix it? Thanks!

I didn't have a particularly unique name but it was uncommon. I tried to pick a name that was equally uncommon.
Since it sounds like you've got a name picked out already, I'm not sure what kind of suggestion to give. Maybe your friends/family could come up with a fun, quirky nickname for you?

Quote from: CursedFireDean on April 10, 2015, 10:10:30 PM
Maybe your friends/family could come up with a fun, quirky nickname for you?

I second this idea. Another way would be if there's a masculine version of your birthname etc.

But I know the feeling of name being part of identity. My name was very generic and common female name, and while I didn't like how much it was tied to the wrong gender I liked that it started with L so I wanted my new name to start with L as well.

Quote from: LJ3 on April 10, 2015, 09:57:58 PM
Well just as the title says. My name was very unique and was a central part of my identity. It was so unusual (and my personality apparently "quirky") that my name became a sort of verb and adjective to describe things related to my life or just generally weird. Nobody has called me my birth name in months. It's not an appropriate name for a man, but it feels like I lost my hat or my glasses or something that made me unique. Does anyone struggle with this? How do you fix it? Thanks!

I get this, I really, really do.  I am not sure how to fix it.  I am just hoping that I will get used to it over time.  It has only been about a month since I came out to everyone (and asked that my new name be used), so I am hoping it is just a time thing.  Is it possible that part of the problem for you is that the name you chose just doesn't seem to fit you?  Since my work requires me to make it legal as quickly as possible, I needed to be aggressive with people using the correct name at work.  I couldn't even ease into it.

How old are you?  Could that be part of it.  Since I am 45 years old, I have had my birth name for a long time.  Although it is a "girl's name", I have never really seen it as feminine.   

It's just weird and I am sad about it.  I go to court in a couple of weeks for my name change, so it is close.  I am NOT looking forward to all the work that will have to be done for all of the document/mortgage/credit, etc. changes.  I know the basic changes, but will have to research doing credit cards, mortgage, all that jazz.  Ugh! 

Thanks for responding. I'm 32. I've been using my new name in my head since I was a kid. Or when my friends and I pretended to be on GUTS or Double Dare or something we would all use boy names so I've been using Johnny for things like that for a long time, but just came out as Trans last summer. It works for me, I like being Johnny. I just kinda miss my old name too. And like you said about yours, it's a girl name but really not feminine. Anyways the name change is legal now so I'm kinda stuck with it.

Yeah i feel this way sometimes too,

i was named after whiskey, haha funny (not its not mom, you ->-bleeped-<-ing a$$hole[i dont like my mom, sorry])

but it was a unique part of me, so me and my family chose together to shorten my birthname and make it my middle name so im still named after whisky, im still unique.

That plus, my best friend calls me kay-dough, and thats like the best freaking kayden nickname ever, so im cool with it now.

well that was pointless...

oh well..

I'm keeping my birth name as my middle name. I was named after a Vietnam soldier. I think he and my dad were friends or something like that. I know he wanted to name all 3 of my older sisters Allen for that reason. It was the first thing that came to mind when I realized that the name Ashley had been calling me for over a decade. I felt really bad about it too. After I said you know what, this has to be about me, I started trying to come up with a middle name. Then it hit me Ashley Allen isn't that bad sounding it was my chance to keep it but change it. I realize other names could sound worse, but middle names aren't used too often.

I've only just had people use my male name. It's...weird. It was the name I would have been named had I been a male. I used it in games and all that. But as more and more people call me "Ben", I feel like I'm going to miss my old name. Especially after the hilarious coincidence of it involving theology. (If anyone is interested, PM me. I don't feel like it's really all that worth mentioning or that anyone would care).

I think it'd be natural since it's been attached to you for so long. Maybe you could still use it as a verb?

Quote from: BenKenobi on April 14, 2015, 08:29:45 PM

I think it'd be natural since it's been attached to you for so long. Maybe you could still use it as a verb?

Hahaha yah I tried once to still use it as a verb whIle talking to a close friend. It didn't go over too well but probably it just caught her by surprise. I think I'll keep trying occasionally.

I have called myself Allen a couple of times intentionally. I generally use it to distinguish between me as I am today and who I used to be. There are actually times where I try to separate who I am between Allen and Ashley. Since I see myself as about 70-80% feminine that makes the distinction possible.

Well my birthname was full female, slightly uncommon, but from birth ive always been called my nickname which was quirky and unusual. When i initially chose my birthname it was whatever sounded cool and seemed to fit and then literally days before i was prepared to finalise it i came across another name. Uncommon but similar sounding, it had an accent in it which made it sound similar to my birthname. - You may think thats a bad thing but it was PERFECT because then i didnt have to lose my amazing nickname!

It sounds like its too late for you, but I ended up with another nickname during my transition which is 'Jack' / Jacky Frost
There is a story to it but i havent the time to type it up. Regardless those around you will give you a new nickname, even if it is just 'idiot'! XD and if nnot then create your own. My mate, Josh decided to name himself Vinny, for no particular reason and strangely enough it stuck.

no sorry cant relate....want nothing to do with my birthname...it was just a big mistake that was made because until i came out as trans my parents thought i was a girl (not their fault ofcourse, anyone born in a female body thats what happens)

i always hated being called by my birthname and female pronouns even before i knew what being transsexual was....because it was a girls name and i wanted a boys name and "wanted" to be a boy

and not really sure what u mean by your birthname made u feel unique....u lost me there....its just a name....names dont reflect anything but your gender (gender neutral names dont even reflect that much)

Gentleboy that's awesome about your nickname! I'm glad you caught that on time so you can keep it. =)

I love my new name. I really do, and I'm glad I got it changed and I'm glad I got my dad's blessing (Im the third, he's the second). I really identify with my new name, and I kinda tweaked it a little to make it mine. thanks for sharing all your stories guys, it really helped to read all the different perspectives.

Quote from: AleksiJason on April 17, 2015, 07:06:45 AM
no sorry cant relate....want nothing to do with my birthname...it was just a big mistake that was made because until i came out as trans my parents thought i was a girl (not their fault ofcourse, anyone born in a female body thats what happens)

i always hated being called by my birthname and female pronouns even before i knew what being transsexual was....because it was a girls name and i wanted a boys name and "wanted" to be a boy

and not really sure what u mean by your birthname made u feel unique....u lost me there....its just a name....names dont reflect anything but your gender (gender neutral names dont even reflect that much)

Hey Aleksi, I understand where you come from in a sense. I only started building a bound with my birthname literally weeks before I came out because I had no personal connection, but many people do its one of the first things that a person identifies themself with. To me it was just a name (still is), my nickname however was everything to me, it revealed my character and personality and it made me feel unique, because I have been upon this earth for 18yrs and I am yet to meet someone with the same nickname, and even if they did I doubt theyd spell it the same! A name is more than a reflection of your gender, when you were choosing names did you not look up the meanings of the names (that was personally quite important for me) or the numerology (if you believe it) or the way it carries itself. A name is special, it may not be to you but it is to the majority of people which is why its so important to choose the right one.

As I always have said (similarly to Ollivander from HP) A name chooses a person, not the other way around. Yes you can force yourself upon a name but if you look at a list of names certain ones will draw you closer, intrigue you more. If you see a name as a T-shirt, not all T-shirts will fit you, some too big, some too small but if you search long enough you will find one that fits you perfectly. Its exactly the same with names. 

Quote from: LJ3 on April 18, 2015, 03:47:09 PM
Gentleboy that's awesome about your nickname! I'm glad you caught that on time so you can keep it. =)

I love my new name. I really do, and I'm glad I got it changed and I'm glad I got my dad's blessing (Im the third, he's the second). I really identify with my new name, and I kinda tweaked it a little to make it mine. thanks for sharing all your stories guys, it really helped to read all the different perspectives.

Hey LG3
Yeah it was incredibly lucky. The only issue I have now is that my name has an accent in it and most people dont know how to put the accent in so they pronounce it in its written form which doesnt correlate to my nickname but ahh well. The fact that you've made yourself a III is amazing! Obviously I dont know how well you pass or anything, but if anyone were to attempt to out you or something then that practically destroys their argument, you hold the same name as your dad which sounds pretty solid to me. Tweaking names is good, it allows you to develop it and stuff. Now all you need is a kick-ass signature!


Yours
Gentleboy

I changed my name about 2 years ago and I still sometimes miss my biblical birth name. I still see it when I go through old files, read old notes or emails. i sometimes hear it in my head when I'm thinking of the past. It bothered me a lot at first. I figured it had to be all or nothing. Then one day I just sat and thought about it. I was missing something that had been apart of my life and myself for years. For me at least it's ok to miss my birth name. I have memories of doodling my name, lovers saying my name, my diplomas or even my mother saying my name. All just part of a page in a chapter in my amazing life's story. So I can speak for only me and say it's ok to remember fondly part of myself and appreciate my birth name for what it was.