I know people say you should wait to let love find you, but in our case that's a bit difficult considering the fact that a guy that asks me out will probably be straight and leave me when I tell him I'm trans.

So I have no choice really but to actively look for a boyfriend who is bisexual. The problem is I don't know where to look!! Clubs aren't a good idea really. And people tell me to go for gay guys. It makes me want to slap some sense into them.

So I guess the only way would be to do online dating . It makes me really sad that I can't just go out with any guy since they'll feel I lied to them if I don't tell them I'm trans beforehand. 

I'm so lonely and I'm really craving male attention. 21 years of being single is really starting to bring me down emotionally.

You're a woman, why do you want a bi boyfriend? I mean having one is cool and all but you're a woman so a straight one will do!

Seriously there are understanding guys out there and someone as pretty as you shouldn't have an issue.

it's not that I want a bi boyfriend Kate, it's just that everyone I've talked to have recommended that I date a bi guy since a straight guy will never want me and that it's dangerous.  Thanks for the compliment ~blushes~

Quote from: melanie maritz on April 18, 2015, 12:13:45 PM
it's not that I want a bi boyfriend Kate, it's just that everyone I've talked to have recommended that I date a bi guy since a straight guy will never want me and that it's dangerous.  Thanks for the compliment ~blushes~

I see. So you're taking advice from people who may be wrong.

I say date who you want and don't worry about what they say.

Melanie, have you thought about online dating? I'm on OKCupid. I can specify "bisexual" in my search criteria. I also can list my gender identity as transgender woman, so the guys that contact me do not mind.

Hey Suzi, yeah I actually checked out okcupid right before I posted this, but didn't sign up yet. have you met anyone on it yet?

The thing is I am scared Kate, I don't want to become another transexual statistic. True, some guys are understanding, but some are not understanding at all and you might only find that out when it's too late

I have had success on OkCupid. Not sure if you're on Tumblr, but there are a lot of good groups on there where you can submit a picture and a blurb about you and what you're looking for. That is how I met my current partner and made quite a few new friends.

Quote from: melanie maritz on April 18, 2015, 12:40:07 PM
Hey Suzi, yeah I actually checked out okcupid right before I posted this, but didn't sign up yet. have you met anyone on it yet?

I've met a number of people. Gone on about a dozen dates. Haven't met anyone I meshed with, but got to know some very nice people.

thank you Suzi and Max, I'll sign up to okcupid then (^.^) is i5 better to get it on the app thing?

Quote from: melanie maritz on April 18, 2015, 12:46:24 PM
The thing is I am scared Kate, I don't want to become another transexual statistic. True, some guys are understanding, but some are not understanding at all and you might only find that out when it's too late

True. I understand fully. However I think the focus shouldn't be on finding a bi guy it should be on finding an accepting and understanding one. And up front disclosure is a major part of that.

Quote from: melanie maritz on April 18, 2015, 01:14:05 PM
thank you Suzi and Max, I'll sign up to okcupid then (^.^) is i5 better to get it on the app thing?

I preferred to set up my account on a computer, and then use it on my phone. It really depends how much you're planning to write in the bio spaces of your profile. It'd be easy to set it up on your phone if you weren't going to write a lot.

Some people have said if already but there are straight guys who are accepting their partner being trans. Its not going to be common but it does happen. You're still pretty young (I'm all of 2 years older so maybe I shouldn't be one to talk) give it some time, even though that's the hardest thing to do.

hun not all straight guys are violent towards trans women. Im guessing some would actually prefer trans women. Just if ur worried about safety try telling the guy u are trans over the phone/internet. and also get to know the guy find out if he is homophobic or transphobic.. Just bring it up by like discussing politics or something. If he says no those scary trans women should not be allowed to use the bathroom then tell him you don't like bigots, and tell him to f@#k off.

the thing about okcupid is that by you going on their and putting that u are trans, you maybe outing urself if you are stealth. there are a lot of people that use it. I have seen many familiar faces on there.

Hey.  You sound a bit stressed and depressed.  You're also gorgeous, based on your photo, and friendly, based on your writing, and intelligent, based on your words, ya know? 

There is a dude out there who is perfect for you.  Who will love you for you.  It won't necessarily be a bi person, either - there's plenty of straight guys who are open-minded enough to accept the beautiful woman in front of them.  If the guy is a judgmental ->-bleeped-<-, then he isn't right for you. 

Agreed with other suggestions on dating sites - that'll help out a ton. 

Quote from: amber roskamp on April 18, 2015, 06:30:28 PM
the thing about okcupid is that by you going on their and putting that u are trans you maybe outing urself if you are stealth there are a lot of people that use it. I have seen many familiar faces on their.

Oh, this. I usually list on there that I live in Baltimore instead of DC (they're about an hour apart). I'm sure some people from where I live have seen me, but I'd prefer to be as stealthy about it as possible.

Thanx for the tips everyone.  I did put myself as transgender, but I don't want to, now that I think about it. Explaining to the guy over a message that I'm trans is probably better since I do want to live stealth.  So I changed it now to just "woman".

Well...I just have to hope straight guys on OkCupid like me, because apparently there are NO bisexual guys in my area at all.. they are probably afraid to put something like that on their profile? I don't know

Quote from: melanie maritz on April 19, 2015, 03:35:33 AM
Thanx for the tips everyone.  I did put myself as transgender, but I don't want to, now that I think about it. Explaining to the guy over a message that I'm trans is probably better since I do want to live stealth.  So I changed it now to just "woman".

Well...I just have to hope straight guys on OkCupid like me, because apparently there are NO bisexual guys in my area at all.. they are probably afraid to put something like that on their profile? I don't know

yea that is probably good in ur case. Good luck hun. I think a beautiful girl like u should have no problem finding a date on there.

There are lots of men out there searching for a nice woman. Post on lots of sites & kick away most all of them but you will know when Prince Charming appears. Then enjoy him GF, you deserve to have some love in your life that only a man can bring. I opened a profile on a site called 7orbetter.com. It's a site that only men with 7 inches or longer are allowed to be members. It's been such fun with several very large men courting me. There are so many dating sites out there so just try lots & review lots of men before going forward. Good luck GF.