Hey
So I was talking to some ftm friends about family acceptance and how even though people struggled with pronouns and the new name they had other signs of showing they were supportive and okay-ish with it.

I personally remember the first time my mum seeming to be definitely okay with my transition was when we'd just moved house. (She split up from my ex-stepdad. I must have been out for 3-4 months) and so I was the oldest child and the only male in the household and there was this door hanging loose in one of the bedrooms and she was like thats gonna need fixing.My mother is more than capable of doing DIY, but she came downstairs to me and told me "theres a door hanging loose. Maybe you'd like to fix it"

id not really done much DIY, not because I was a girl but mainly because nothing was ever broken and if it was, my sister's dad was very protective of his importance in the household (read controlling) and so would fix it immediately, without showing anyone what or how to do it. So I was basically like "I havent got a clue how to fix a door". And she just stared at me and then told me to get into the car, she drove us to B&Q (DIY store) and she bought me a drill and a toolbox and was like, "Guys are expected to know at least some basics. So you'd better get some gear and start catching up" and that night I fixed my first door!

I know its stereotypical that guys do the manual labour and stuff (and i probably should have been taught earlier on) but the feeling of being accepted, even though she wasn't using the right name and kept doing the "she-i mean- he" thing, was totally awesome.

Basically what I'm saying is that acceptance doesn't have to be shown verbally, it comes in other forms as well.

Yours
The Gentleboy

Ha! Welcome to the world of gender role expectations!

But you're right, that shows a lot of acceptance from your mother - good on her.

My favorite non-verbal is the head nod from other guys.

My friends are pretty savvy with proper pronouns, but I was really pleased to hear from a frined that her fiance said I was a 'really cool guy' after we'd all known one another for years but I'd only come out a few months ago.  He's not a super macho guy but he is fairly striaght and was raised on the narrow christian path though he never was the kind of person to freak out over stuff like gender so long as it was clear what he had to call soemone by

My parents bought me a really nice tool chest last Xmas... to be fair I've always loved them but getting that alongside the sewing machine I had specifically asked wanted was pretty groovy.  It wasn't something I'd mentioned wanting or needing in the slightest.  They're fairly old anc conservative but they try ha ha

Quote from: ftmax on April 18, 2015, 05:35:21 PM
My favorite non-verbal is the head nod from other guys.

the head nod is the best. Girls dont often do it, but its like secret code from other guys saying "I like you dude, how are you doing?", it just confirms you're one of them. I do the nod so often its a natural reaction to anything and everything.

Quote from: Ms Grace on April 18, 2015, 04:22:05 PM
Ha! Welcome to the world of gender role expectations!

But you're right, that shows a lot of acceptance from your mother - good on her.

Hey Ms Grace, the world of gender role expectations is unusual. I never experienced it from the other side but now im expected to have done or know how to do certain things, sounds like you've experienced/experiencing it though. Im glad my mum's supportive, just wish others' parents were too. It would make life so much easier.

Quote from: Aazhie on April 18, 2015, 05:42:46 PM
My friends are pretty savvy with proper pronouns, but I was really pleased to hear from a frined that her fiance said I was a 'really cool guy' after we'd all known one another for years but I'd only come out a few months ago.  He's not a super macho guy but he is fairly striaght and was raised on the narrow christian path though he never was the kind of person to freak out over stuff like gender so long as it was clear what he had to call soemone by

My parents bought me a really nice tool chest last Xmas... to be fair I've always loved them but getting that alongside the sewing machine I had specifically asked wanted was pretty groovy.  It wasn't something I'd mentioned wanting or needing in the slightest.  They're fairly old anc conservative but they try ha ha

Strange about the Christian thing. I didnt want to tell my religious friends in case they were left with deciding to chose between our friendship and their faith, and i valued our friendship more than my gender issues. but these things have a way of coming out on their own and many of my christian friends, who literally have been moulded by church and family to by anti-lgbt ended up being the most supportive. sounds like theres a glitch in the matrix, but I'm hugely thankful for it! - I love my tools though, I feel like Bob the Builder. I can even rock an amazing builder's bum XD

Yours
Gentleboy

Hey Gentleboy

You are really fortunate.  Yes, we can moan about gender stereotying and everything related to it, but it's so totally and utterly validating when people place meaning in our  gender role.  And it's more than cool that your mum drove you down to B&Q to get the hardware you needed.  It sounds trivial, but it's very, very far from being trivial, so well done to you!!

I had to splice some power cables at home recently.  Have you ever tried to do this with longish painted nails?  It's just so damn fiddly.  And I'm an electronic engineer to boot.  It felt kinda weird, I tell you.  Girls don't splice cables.  Of course we do

Hugs
Julia

Quote from: Julia-Madrid on April 18, 2015, 06:31:13 PM
Hey Gentleboy

You are really fortunate.  Yes, we can moan about gender stereotying and everything related to it, but it's so totally and utterly validating when people place meaning in our  gender role.  And it's more than cool that your mum drove you down to B&Q to get the hardware you needed.  It sounds trivial, but it's very, very far from being trivial, so well done to you!!

I had to splice some power cables at home recently.  Have you ever tried to do this with longish painted nails?  It's just so damn fiddly.  And I'm an electronic engineer to boot.  It felt kinda weird, I tell you.  Girls don't splice cables.  Of course we do

Hugs
Julia

Hey Miss Julia! Still looking amazing!

I know I'm a very lucky little boy, with an amazing mother! I've never tried splicing cables, though i really haven't got a very good track record with electricity. Managed to electrocute myself from a main lighting fixture -there was no bulb in it and I didn't even consider that the switch might be on - managed to get exempt from one of my exams and got to try out a pacemaker in the hospital too!! and ive managed to blow up a main plug socket and ended up with soot all over me and the cream carpet - twice because i didn't learn the first time that you don't buy electrical items from china XD

Id say trim your nails a little for next time, but from experience girls seem to adore their nails, so I suggest sucking up to someone with shorter nails and getting them to do it for you! Knowing how to fix electronics is a very decent life skill to possess - one I'm not convinced I'll be able to master though!

Always hugs back
Gentleboy

Dear Gentleboy

Ouch, ouch, OUCH!  Right through to a pacemaker, wow!  You're a typical reckless male!    Never mind electricity, no chainsaws for you; heck even nail scissors might be worth keeping under lock and key 

So glad that you're doing well!

Huge hugs
Julia

My girlfriend is still pre-transition (she's working on getting her eating disorder under control first) and her mom is having a hard time with changing pronouns/names.  She did send my girlfriend a copy of a womens shopping catalog though recently.  I thought that was pretty neat.

To be honest Julia, I would advise keeping anything potentially harmful including nail scissors away from me. I'm supposed to be clever but I forget to think a lot of things through, its only once ive actually hurt myself that im like
"oh I should not have done that.That was never going to be a good idea!" XD.


RoseTyler
(guessing you're a whovian) That's awesome to hear. It really is the little things that make all the difference! I hope your gf gets better!

Big hugs to you both
Yours Gentleboy.