I'm a trans girl and I came out to my parents about eight days ago after they found my hormones after I picked them up from the pharmacy.

After I came out, my dad avoided me completely for like three days straight and wouldn't look at me or talk to me. He literally talked to the dog WAY more than he talked to me during that time.

They're VERY slowly starting to accept it.. but not much. At least my mom is starting to use gender neutral pronouns for me though, that's a start.

Today I told my dad that I wanted an eye exam so I could learn my prescription, and new glasses because it's been over two years since my last eye exam. And I wanted new glasses that were more feminine, but I didn't tell him that part.
I'm going to buy my glasses online for cheap ($90 for scratch proof uv proof bifocals with cute frames, which is pretty dope), so all I need is the eye exam, which is free with my insurance.

But when I told him I wanted an eye exam to get new glasses, he started yelling at me out of nowhere.
He just started yelling, "WHY DO YOU WANT NEW GLASSES NOW? YOU JUST CAN'T WAIT FOR ANYTHING CAN YOU? WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?"

It's actually coming from the fact you're supposed to get an eye exam every YEAR, and my eye doctor keeps emailing me like every week to come get my eye exam done.. I'm so sorry I actually care about my vision health, apparently that makes me a monster.

And we argued about it for a few minutes (even though I kept telling him I would pay for the eye exam (before I knew insurance payed for it) and the glasses) and I finally convinced him to let me get the exam. Honestly I feel like I shouldn't have told him at all.. I should have just set up an appointment with the eye doctor and walked to the eye clinic myself even though it's roughly a mile away, and payed for the eye exam in full because I don't have access to any of my dad's insurance information. I feel like I can't tell him anything anymore.. My parents say they want me to be honest with them, but how can I if every time I try to tell them something or be honest about something they just get in my face and start yelling at me?

Can anyone please give me any tips about how to get my parents to accept this and understand this a little bit more.?
Thanks.

Your parents need to go through a process of their own. You have been struggling with your gender identity for many years if not your whole life - last week was the first that they've really heard anything of it. It will take them time to understand and it's likely they will go through a number of stages generally seen in people dealing with grief. First there is shock and denial (this isn't happening), then anger (I'm upset this is happening, why is this happening it shouldn't be happening)... and so forth. Sounds like your father has started the process!

Another thing to keep in mind is that parents wrap an awful lot of significance into the gender identity of their child - from the moment we are born they gear everything around that (name, clothes, toys, activities) - it's hard for them to see you as anything different. To them, saying you identify with and want to live as the opposite gender can be seen as a rejection of who you are and how they raised you. It  is something they need to get past but it won't be easy and will take time. Sounds like your mother is trying harder than your father, but that is common too.

Finally, do you have a plan for your transition? It sounds like you are just at the start and you might be some way from presenting full time as female? If you are still presenting as "male" they might but very confused as to why you say you are female.

At least they haven't thrown you out - instant acceptance is fairly unheard of but it sounds like they are coming to grips with it in their own way.

Sometimes parents need to be educated. Make sure your parents know:
* You didn't choose to be trans. You were born that way.
* Being transgender is serious. Depression and anxiety are common among people who ignore it.
* There is no way to "cure" it and it typically doesn't go away on its own.
* The most successful treatment is to allow people to transition and live as their true gender.

You may need to repeat some of these several times before they start giving them thoughts.

If you are a minor, the issue with the eye exam is a different issue. Your parents would be required by law to give you appropriate medical care. It is a crime to withhold or deny medical care to a minor. I'm hoping your father wasn't seriously considering denying you an eye exam, and that you just caught him at a grumpy moment, but he has a responsibility to see to your care if you are a minor.

You might have a look here for a few thoughts that might help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,180045.msg1658077.html#msg1658077

I personally also like the twin explanation... people will be like their male/female twin... with still the same sense of humour etc...

Some people explain their feelings in a letter and talk about it later...
well a talk instead has the advantage of being more flexible...

You might look for counseling with a good gender therapist...
you might ask other trans people or at plannedparenthood or a lgbt center for a referral... if you feel you are not supported you might look for another...
if its connected with depression it might be covered, or sliding scales might be available.
They might help and support, and might help with explaining.

and you might look for support groups...

hugs

Thanks for the tips everyone!<3

My insurance won't cover any gender therapist in the entire country, under ANY circumstances.. I couldn't afford a gender therapist out of pocket and my dad would not put a single cent towards one. And he wouldn't drive me to a gender therapist anyway.
They don't even cover my hormones, I have to pay for them out of pocket.

I actually want to be full time.. my parents just refuse to let me leave the house as a woman. All I can get away with if I'm with them is dressing androgynously, wearing concealer to cover my shadow, and wearing very light makeup, just  a bit of mascara.  My dad said he doesn't want to see me presenting myself as a woman. He said he doesn't care if I'm presenting myself as a woman, as long as he doesn't have to look at it.
I DO present myself as a woman outside of the house though.. I have a system: I wear my girl clothes under my guy clothes and hide my wig under my shirt and put makeup in my pockets, then just take off my male clothes and put on my wig and makeup. But I am NOWHERE near presenting myself as female at my job right now. My dad actually made me promise that I would present myself as male for work and for all job interviews, that was part of our deal for him letting me take hormones. Even though he has no say in it, I'm an adult and taking hormones is completely my choice.

If I'm at my therapists office, I just go into the bathroom, take off my male clothes, put on my makeup and wig, and see my therapist like that.
I do the same thing at friends' houses.
And I do the same thing at the mall, I just need to hide my male clothes somewhere in the bathroom so I can change back into them.

No I'm not a minor, I'm 20. And after arguing with him I finally got him to take me to the eye doctor today, I'm going in a few minutes.

I've had two suicide attempts and inpatient hospitalizations because I held this in and tried to deny it for so long.

Actually when I was 18 I really wanted to start transitioning, but my insurance wouldn't cover a gender therapist. So my parents knew about it back then, so it isn't that much of a shock to them.
So I went for two extra years without hormones before I found an informed consent clinic near me.. if my insurance covered a gender therapist and I got on hormones much earlier, I seriously doubt I would have tried to commit suicide.

He just doesn't get that this is what I need to do, this is how I'm happiest, and this is how I'm healthiest. I absolutely HATED myself before I started transitioning.. now for the first time in my life I'm starting to love myself.

I just have a lot of trouble understanding their point of view, because if I had a kid and they were transgender it wouldn't bother me one bit, at all, and I honestly mean that. I would completely support them and be happy for them, because I know that it's the pretty much the only thing that will let them love themselves. And I would be happy they were just taking hormones and not doing something like shooting up heroin or something.

And no, they wouldn't kick me out, they know that I have no friends or family other than them so they knew that I would probably end up dying on the streets with no place to stay, and I guess they would rather me be transgender then dead, so I suppose that's a start.:p

That's a good start believe it or not.

I heard if my youngest sister's husband was my father he would have kicked me out. A have another sister that was pretty nasty, but I had the option to block her. Things seem to be better. Its going to take time. My own mom was in denial for a while, but shes over it now.