So after having no help with from my old GP I registered with a new one. I'm getting good vibes from this place as the receptionist and nurses actually treat you like a human being, so I'm hoping things go well.

I have an appointment with a new doctor next week, I plan to ask her about a referral to a GIC. I've been on T for a year and getting surgery is a need at this point in my life, it's driving me crazy and I find it hard dealing with negative thoughts floating around in my head.

I obviously don't want to mess  it up when I see this doctor, so I'm wondering if there was anything I should say or anything I should avoid saying? My partner thinks I was too "demanding" with my old GP, which I don't think is what happened. I explained my dysphoria, how it's negatively impacting my life and I asked if he could help by referring me for an initial appointment at a GIC (I didn't even mention surgery).

The only real response I got from him was 10 minutes of him trying to convince me how he didn't have a problem with "this situation", but if I didn't get a referral it would be because of the CCG. He didn't even look at the information I had printed off for him. And refused to take on board that the process he suggested was out of date. Which to me, set off alarm bells that he had problems with me and what I was asking.

I thought that the steps I took were reasonable but now I'm questioning what I should say. Now I'm scared to even say that much because apparently me explaining my dysphoria to a doctor, who is meant to help people, is too demanding? It's not like I went in there and was like "yo, give me a referral for surgery".

I've been seeing quite a few people getting referrals from their GPs no problem, and honestly wondering what I'm doing or saying wrong to not get one.

Do you guys have any advice on what you might say?

Dont know exactly where you're from but im from Wales, UK. and I went in with my mum (was 16, 2 months off being 17). It was an open surgery, where you dont book an appointment you just have to arrive and its first come first serve. I basically told her about my headaches and other pain and then I said something like "actually im transgender...I was told I had to talk to a GP to sort things out" And she looked at me and said "yeah thats cool, I'll send you a referal to CAMHS (Child and Adolesence Mental Health Service) and theyll take it from there." and that was it. no fuss. no judgement. Easy. 

The hard bit was waiting for CAMHS to get their ->-bleeped-<-e together because I swear to God they've never had to deal with a trans person in wales! None of them knew what to do or who to talk to or anything. But when they finally did understand what to do the got me sorted pronto, theyve set up my funding and are waiting for London GIC to give me an appointment. (had my bloods done today for em too!)

Gentleboy

From what you said you are not the problem (in terms of saying something wrong or being too 'demanding'), it was a bad GP with no idea what he was doing, stuck in their ways in the past and refusing to change. There are types like that and its not your fault. All you can do is move on to a better doctor. There should be no issue at all with referring you to a GIC which is all they need to do. If they try to cause issues with it I would take it as a bad sign and get away from them. I didnt even know the term 'trans' at the time, I just said I had 'gender issues' (which sounds dumb to me now lol), he asked some things for background and that was it, referred me to the local GIC

If you went in demanding HRT and surgery and everything that is too demanding (and out of their hands they cant even refer for those anyway) but just asking for help is ridiculous to call 'demanding'. It is their job to help you. He didnt based on his own ignorance and bias from the sounds of it. Just need a new doctor and you should be on your way. Doctors are still human like the rest of us so they are still open to having their own biases, opinions and beliefs on things so there are good ones and bad ones like anything else. I doubt you did anything wrong, it was just an unhelpful doctor. Plenty of them around unfortunately but there are good ones too if you can find them

Thanks guys I had the appointment early this morning, had to drag myself out of bed at 6am with hardly any sleep cause I was so nervous, but it was worth it! The doctor was much older than I thought she would be, so when I first saw her I was prepared to get shot down thinking she'd be another one set in her ways.

Surprisingly she was very inviting and helpful! When I first explained my situation I half expected her to question everything and not have a clue, instead she listened to what I had to say, accepted my concerns and dysphoria, and happily accepted to give me a referral!

She did suggest that I should write a letter repeating the same information I told her regarding how it made me feel, just so that when she sent off the referral it would help the chances of getting future funding. She was also very helpful with a time-frame and explained what she would do for me throughout the process.

The only thing I have to worry about is that Berkshire has been tight with funding lately, but I'm just glad at the moment to even get a helpful doctor.

Thanks for the info and advice, it helped with the anxiety to know people do get support and that not all doctors are bad