I can remember so clearly my first experience that led me down this path, when I was 4 I use to sleep in the same room as my older and younger sisters. I don't remember why but I use to wait until my sisters , or I thought my sisters were asleep and I'd sneak open my sisters draw and pull out one of her blouses that for some reason I was fascinated with, I thought it was the prettiest thing I ever saw.  The blouse had red and blue embroidering along the top and made of cotton. For some reason  I was just mesmerized by it. Then I moved on to other of my older sisters clothes and continued seeing the female me to the present day. For some reason my brain developed that way.

I certainly remember trying on some women's clothing. But it was never anything serious so I wasn't really experiencing my true gender identity as such. Something I remember doing quite clearly in my teens is covering my head and face like this...



...looking in the mirror and thinking how much like a woman I looked.

Hey cool topic. Though my father was alive and I had a brother they did not live in the same house as me. I lived basically all my young child days around nothing but females my mom and my 3 older sisters. I developed feminine nature never had men around at all lest they were one night stands my mom brought home. Anyway.... I'll be digressing way to much here with that. The first time I started very slightly feeling like a girl was when I was 5 or so. At 9 years old it became stronger and at 9 years 9 months I put on my youngest but still older than me sisters dress on and lots of jewelry(loved jewelry) and felt sooo happy and pretty in it. Lol, for some reason I showed myself of too my teenage sisters 17 year old bf and he just laughed so did my teen sister. Haha funny times.

When I was 4 I wanted a girls' swimsuit.  Instead I got my first lecture about what was "appropriate for boys".

When I was 8, my friend's mom that was babysitting us made me me wear his older sister's clothes while my muddy ones were in the wash.  I also was confined to her bedroom as a punishment for us getting covered in mud accidentally on purpose.  I spent the remainder of the afternoon in a girl's room wearing her clothes.  It made me want to actually trade places with her.

Short version, it came from losing a bet.

Long version...as penalty for losing to one of my exes at Guitar Hero, I had to put on her clothes, let her do my makeup, and then leave all that on until my uncle (with whom I lived at the time) came home from work. At first, I was mortified at what I had allowed to happen...but I had one of those full-body mirrors, and she demanded I stand in front of it and look. When I finally pried my eyes off my face and looked, I instantly thought, "Well hellooooooo there madame, where have you been all these years?".

Funniest thing about it was, she bragged about that one to so many people that when I came out, even though we'd been separated for over two years, my friends immediately started blowing up her phone and her facebook account asking her what the  kind of sick crap she'd done to me post-breakup. They initially thought it was a coping mechanism...bahahaha.

It's the first memory I can recall actually, probably because of the associated shame I was made to feel back then.  When I was 4 years old and was in pre-school, I was caught arguing with a girl over who got to wear the high heels in the fancy dress box. Teacher: "Those aren't for boys!"

When I was about 5, I remember asking my mom if I was going to have hair everywhere like the guys. I dreaded the day when it came. It came late but it did come. I hate it to this day. I used to sneak my sisters clothes around that time. Loved it[emoji5]️


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

When I had my first girlfriend and I realized I wanted the parts she had instead of my own.

That one is kind of confusing for me. I'm really good at "forgetting" things. So far my earliest memory is wearing my dads old tshirts as dresses (though I didn't tell them that's why I was wearing them) and wearing my moms bra and heels. I guess that was around...4? Maybe 5 years old.  I spent the last 15 years complaining of why I can never remember anything... turns out I keep repressing things.  Hopefully that will stop now.

when i was 9 in karate class. omg, first time in my life i had a true smile on my face. the power of tight booty pants, i chest band and and i open sided shirt with some girly graphics on it. if only i had longer hair, you would've near guess i was a boy. but sadly, i never truly smiled again since than

Quote from: Echo Alcestis on April 23, 2015, 11:31:35 AM
when i was 9 in karate class. omg, first time in my life i had a true smile on my face. the power of tight booty pants, i chest band and and i open sided shirt with some girly graphics on it. if only i had longer hair, you would've near guess i was a boy. but sadly, i never truly smiled again since than

It's really sad that when you've got this situation going on sadness always follows. I know I've been sad most of my life because I felt so different and this undertow of wanting to be female as a constant day to day reality.

Quote from: stephaniec on April 23, 2015, 11:39:00 AM
It's really sad that when you've got this situation going on sadness always follows

i know. being a ward of the state means since no one wants you already, your self esteem just falls and you already hate yourself since your birth parents didnt love you or wanted you only makes it worse. thats why when people talk about happiness, i laugh at it because frankly when that very moment, that single moment, i knew what it felt like to smile and than it was snatched away so easily.

sorry for your pain, it's terrible not to be wanted. I know that's been a life long problem for me, the feeling of not being wanted . I was lucky to have a good father, my mother passed when I was 8 years old, but I've raly never have felt wanted by others especially possible lovers.

I have a whole clutch of memories from around 4-6. I heard the word tomboy around then at my friend's house and identified with it immediately, she agreed that that was what I was, just like her. I also remember playing dolls with her and having a boy come over and start chastising me for doing so. During that same time I wanted to sign up for balet at the y like all my friends. My Mom took me to inquire and when the lady in charge said I was more than welcome but I would be the only boy I got sullen and turned sour on the idea. I didn't want tights and a t shirt, I wanted a pretty pink tutu like my friends. Dressing, jewelry and makeup play followed soon after and never stopped.

I first knew about transition and that I needed to in my mid teens, but things got complicated...

Quote from: StrykerXIII on April 23, 2015, 04:07:02 AM
full-body mirrors, and she demanded I stand in front of it and look...

Loved this story Stryker! (Appeals to my forced feminization fantasy kink,, tmi ...I know). Although I played with clothes at an earlier age, it wasn't until I was about 13 yo looking at myself naked in front of a mirror seeing the shape of my body and the curve of my butt which i recognized as female. It was revelatory. Funny that I still identify so much with that experience!

It is weird to have such a overwhelming memory of something that happened for me at such  a young age , but there's not a day that goes by that I don't think about it. There is another moment in my life that is so indelible in my memory and again not a single day goes by that I don't think about it. This is when I was about 19 and heavily into my LSD period. I was sitting in a restaurant with a couple of girls I knew and one of them pulled out her birth control pills and started talking about them and I just sat there mesmerized thinking of that's exactly what I wanted. It took a long time before I got a hold of estrogen, but I never ever forgot that moment in my life.

I was always drawn to female clothing, I remember seeing little girls clothes and wondering how it would feel to wear that.. At 13 or 14 I actually tried a pair of my moms pantyhose on and loved it.. I felt bad wearing her pantyhose.. so i got some of my own, that I would wear when i was alone in my room.. at age 16. (I am ashamed of this) I stole a cheer leading skirt..and I loved wearing this.. At this stage i had no desire to transform. I did not even know what a transsexual was.

Then at 19.. dressed up fully as woman for the first time  I wore a blue winter dress, black pantyhose, black heels. I looked in the mirror and saw a woman and this felt right..and i released Noleen was me... from that time I started cross dressing more regularly and like every moment i got.. In a short period, i spent more time as noleen than in guy
mode..

I remember when i went to school, I often wore panties under my guy clothes and in the dead of winter I would even wear a sports bra as well..as you don't notice anything under a hoodie. why i needed to feel female.

I started HRT at 21.. and the rest is history.

I think that it was when I was about 11 or so, and I would paint my nails because I thought it was cute.. when my mother found out, she told me that boys don't paint their nails, and I remember barely being able to hold back from telling her just then that I wasn't a boy.

I'm a bit backwards. I always knew who and what I am. I found out in headstart that other people couldn't see that. They took pictures of each kid so show off its success. (It was a pilot program.) I wasn't allowed to have my pic with a fire truck, they gave me a doll.

First experience:

It started around the teen years when I was like 13 or 14.

I saw a lot of shows and movies exploring role reversal and body switching and the topic just fascinated me. So much though that I would fantasize about being someone else and living their life EVERY NIGHT. All of them were female!

THIS WENT ON FOR THE NEXT 15 YEARS when I finally accepted myself as trans.

I got a computer and discovered the internet in 2001 and did more exploring and was a regular on Fiction Mania, searching for stories and webcomics and I was a well established contributor for writing.com interactives. I wrote a few role reversal/body swap stories and several of those were very very popular. (I still need to go back there one day and let everyone know I'm alive, heh)

Then the other factors came into play on my gender identity: body hatred, wore socks on my chest and it felt great, slowly hating myself and struggling to find happiness etc.

Discovered myself now and the rest is history.