Well after reading the late transition thread, i was keen to find out what triggered other young people to transition, how you found out, how you dealt with parents etc?

I had a very conservative upbringing, masculine reinforcement, punishment for signs of femininity. my parents wanted me to join the militery, and point blank refused to let me do more artistic things... (they went nuts when i did art at high school) Throughout my teens i borrowed my sister and mothers clothes and felt very dirty 'crossdressing' thanks to my upbringing, but finally realising it wasnt CDing, but that i WAS a girl, and SHOULD wear these things. Our family getting broadband saved my life! i finally could surf the net and find information, mainly ts youth sites and infact, this chatroom and forum ^_^. I could NEVER do anything at home, but when i arrived at university, i was finally free, and out from under thier thumb, and after 3 suicide attempts in my teens, one of which landed me in hospital, with my parents refusal to accept i was in pain and depressed, i had to do SOMETHING. so i began, only to come out to them a year later, to be treated like a mentally ill deviant, and banished from my family home... 

What triggered you to transition? why were you able to early? and how did you find out about it?
R

When we first got our internet connection and a computer years ago I started looking on the internet to see like what the heck was wrong with me, and is there any cure for why I'm doing this.  (intense like crossdressing and feelings at the time.  Used to like pray every night I'd just wake up and be how I want lol).  Anyways though, I finally found out about being TS and all that stuff that goes with it, but it seemed distant to me and impossible to achieve.

When I was in high school I gave up at the idea of it, feeling as if it could never happen to me, and that this was something that was near impossible to do.  Then after a failed suicide attempt in my junior year, I pretty much came out to my parents.  Been seeing a therapist like ever since and blah blah blah up to HRT right now.  It still feels distant as in like I doubt HRT and everything, but whatever, it's the only option I have left really lol.

This sounds clasic...  But as of my earlyest memory I knew...  And from stories told by my parrents I knew pretty much the moment I could comunicate...
I remember being 7ish I guess and asking my mom to buy some wonderful purple fabric to make a dress out of... Instead I got slacks X(
In kindergarden My teachers started forcing me away from my female friends and I quickly learned through negitive reinforcement that noone understood and noone would help me...

I found out about TS through a television show on PBS and started doing research in the school and local libraries <no internet>  I came out to my grandmother who tried to help... Id spend the weekends at her place helping her out and she arranged for a few outfits and such. We discused the future and how to best do things... She allways knew there was something diffrent about me.  It was our little secret or so I thought...

My dad found out, I guess I was 15 and he beat the living hell out of me... He literaly threatened me with transition... I wanted to scream yes to all his questions, but was so affraid I said no and claimed it was just a phaze <exactly what he wanted to hear>

I spent 2 weeks at home recovering before returning to school at which point I went from the nice sweet kid out to please to a mean nasty vicious punkrocker... I had been beaten back into the closet so severly *Sighs*

At 18 I started to think about it again, but it seemed like an unreachable goal so I drank myself stupid and snorted myself silly for a few years... Full fledged puberty finaly hit and really messed me up....

At 23 I came to accept I had to do something or Id end up dead. Came out to all my closest friends...  Later that year met my Ex... <Lets not get into that though> And opertunity finaly presented itsself and I started transition at 24... stopped and restarted while 25 and yeah... thats about it...

My family hates me, accept for my father... My friends are slowly abandonng me as they realize this is a perminant thing and yeah...  Thats about it...

I felt exactely the same Lynn when I was 24, I was almost in a panic.......I got diagnosed as Gender Dyphoric at 24.....but it just seemed to go on and on and before you know it your in your 40's and your still not done yet......I could blame the U.K NHS who have definitely been a major brick wall for me and many other transsexuals but I also blame myself as well...

I've lived the androgenous side of female lifestyle since I was 13 but I still didn't push it enough.....

I think I fit on the early side of things.

I came out to my parents when I was 13, which probably wasn't much of a shock to them given that they knew I'd been freqently crossdressing since grade school.  That was 20 years ago, I knew through high school it was what I wanted (heck I just remembered the other day, taking the clothes of my cousin's barbie doll when I was like 9 or 10 and being jealous of her body).

I went off to college because I didn't know what else to do with myself, I'd have done much better in college if I'd spent half the time studying that I spent trying to find anyting I could on being TS.  What I could find was vague at best and gave me know idea what to do with myself.

I tried to transition when I was 23, I spent about 14 months on HRT, I probably could have gone full time, but I was for the most part clueless.  I'd like to blame my therapist, but it was as much my fault for not having any idea "what to do next", it's hard to know where you're going if you don't know how to get there.

I'm 33, so what happened to the last ten years?  Like everyone else, I've spent my fair share of time fighting it, I never thought I wasn't TS, I just wasn't ready to transition.  Then things started to come together for me that put transition in my comfort zone again and here I am.

So am I early or late in my transition?  I don't know, does it matter?

Quote from: Enigma on November 18, 2007, 02:26:55 PM
I think I fit on the early side of things.

I came out to my parents when I was 13, which probably wasn't much of a shock to them given that they knew I'd been freqently crossdressing since grade school.  That was 20 years ago, I knew through high school it was what I wanted (heck I just remembered the other day, taking the clothes of my cousin's barbie doll when I was like 9 or 10 and being jealous of her body).

I went off to college because I didn't know what else to do with myself, I'd have done much better in college if I'd spent half the time studying that I spent trying to find anyting I could on being TS.  What I could find was vague at best and gave me know idea what to do with myself.

I tried to transition when I was 23, I spent about 14 months on HRT, I probably could have gone full time, but I was for the most part clueless.  I'd like to blame my therapist, but it was as much my fault for not having any idea "what to do next", it's hard to know where you're going if you don't know how to get there.

I'm 33, so what happened to the last ten years?  Like everyone else, I've spent my fair share of time fighting it, I never thought I wasn't TS, I just wasn't ready to transition.  Then things started to come together for me that put transition in my comfort zone again and here I am.

So am I early or late in my transition?  I don't know, does it matter?

I think we all or most of us fit into both camps..

um, well this is for those in the first, not both, or the other
i certainly fit snugly into young... some fit into older.
'all of us fit into both' is a bit hmm..
R

what triggered it?  well the fact that i was a girl living in the body of a boy was 'what' triggered it.

My parents raised me fairly liberally, but they did like to see me doing some boy activities, so I tried to make them happy as well.  In first and second grade I believe was when I did gymnastics in an all girl class, but I had to promise my parents I would give baseball a try too.  Trivial now, but the concept was horrible to me.  I had long hair, spent most of my time with the girls, played with them.  I got in trouble for doing girly things by one of my early teachers.  Around fourth grade I started to get harassed by my classmates and I tried to play the guy role, pretty poorly I might add, from then through high school.

Despite trying to be a "normal guy", I was continually hassled by my classmates throughout my pre college education.  The worst of it was in high school.  I went to a large school (around 4000 kids) and it was pure horror for me most of the time.  I was physically harrassed several times just walking to class.  There were literally areas of the school I was afraid to walk in because of previous incidents.  Torward the end of high school I would get to school in the morning, not 30 seconds inside I would be greeted with "HEY ->-bleeped-<-GOT ->-bleeped-<-GOT ->-bleeped-<-GOT ->-bleeped-<-GOT!".  Every. Day.

Needless to say I contemplated suicide a few times in high school, but I couldn't bear the thought of doing that to my parents and the few friends I did have.  After that I decided instead of thinking about killing myself all of the time I would try to find out "what was wrong with me."  I had never head of a transsexual before, just remembering clips of crossdressers on Jerry Springer and whatnot.  Thanks to the good old internet (which I spent a majority of my time on to escape from my oh so wonderful life in school), I discovered all of this information about transsexual people, and I thought that it fit me to a t.  This forums was one of those that got me through the rest of high school.

I came out to my parents and friends in January of this year, and things have been on track to me becoming myself ever since.

I don't normally talk about my time in high school much as I've tried to repress most of it...

yeah, i must admit, some of the visible images of transexuals really worried me and put me off when i was young (early teens) and i DID attempt suicide a few times, because i presumed it better than living a freak, or staying the way i was.
well, i was wrong... im just glad i get to say that.
R

A lot of things in common with Rachel's story except for being pushed into the military.  But I did have the 3 times the charm suicides, and the last one sorted of jolted me into this "well if I'm going to live, I might as well live" mindstate.  I was kind of to the point where becaues of reasons associated with my depression I was alone.  And I figured if I was going to rebuild my life, I might as well do it right this time.  And I did.  I started transitioning at 23 and at 25 moved out to the East to live my life with as many friends as possible.  And it's worked.  It's sort of surreal to look back and realize I could have and should have done it even earlier.  I think a lot of my initial delay was how trans people were portrayed in the media and the general lack of information out there in terms of what you could do.

Even though I had already started transitioning by that point, I would say the documentary Trans-generation was very important in my development, because it let me see Transfolk around my own age and see that there was some normalcy there to be had.

normalcy?
is it cos i is black?
R

Quote from: Katia on November 18, 2007, 05:32:12 PM
what triggered it?  well the fact that i was a girl living in the body of a boy was 'what' triggered it.

What Katia said.  Additionally, I got tired, very tired of living a life that was a lie.  I got tired of being addicted to pain killers, I got tired of pretending nothing was wrong when in reality, I had been seeing mental health professionals since age ten.  I got tired of the anti-depressants, the anti-anxiety drugs, the frequent visits to the psychiatrist; I got tired of it all and when I decided to kill myself for the third time, I failed, I didn't succeed despite the fact I had swallowed almost an entire bottle of a control III drug.  When I woke up in the hospital after a gastric lavage procedure to remove all the poison I had ingested, I promised myself this was going to be the very last time I'd deny who I was.  And things moved on from there & here I am.

tink

Severe depression and unhappiness is what mostly triggered my transition.  Denial is what consumes you and everntually kills you, more so than GID.

Quote from: Rachael on November 18, 2007, 03:11:11 PM
um, well this is for those in the first, not both, or the other
i certainly fit snugly into young... some fit into older.
'all of us fit into both' is a bit hmm..
R

A lot of people do....especially if you are from England, U.K where you can get messed around by the NHS for years!

if you start young, you start young... we dont mean done and dusted by 18
there are a whole different set of circumstances and problems with transitioning in education, and as a child/with parents who have rights over you....
also lack of marriage, kids, etc.
R

Quote from: Rachael on November 19, 2007, 06:29:58 AM
if you start young, you start young... we dont mean done and dusted by 18
there are a whole different set of circumstances and problems with transitioning in education, and as a child/with parents who have rights over you....
also lack of marriage, kids, etc.
R

Not true at all.....have you got 20 minutes?

I was originally diagnosed and referred to Charing Cross GIC in August 2001 from my local PCT psychiatrist who recommended hormone treatment and gender re-assignment surgery. His diagnosis also indicated that I didn't suffer from any mental health problems.

..........of course in the 6 and a half years I attended Charing Cross GIC I was subject to a lot of mental and verbal abuse and no treatment was ever facilitated........ False accusations about origins of medication and medical file mix ups and blunders were the norm...(the Healthcare Commission findings were serious)

Obviously none of the protocols or guidelines set up in the 'Harry Benjamin Standards of Care' have not in any way been complied with in the case of the U.K's Charing Cross GIC. I am in my forth year of my real life test in my chosen gender and changed all my details Driving licence, Passport, National Insurance etc) in 2003. Prior to this I always lived in a female type role for many years. I was diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria in 1984.  I went though all the usual psychiatry paths with my own PCT before being sent to Charing Cross GIC in August 2001. During my attendance at Charing Cross from August 2001 to January 2007 no treatment or treatment program had been facilitated in that time.

It seems that many government bodies are blind to the fact that this doesn't usually happen on the NHS. I have repeatedly requested West London Mental Health to provide me with answers as to why they repeatedly turned down various referrals, including Gender re-assignment surgery without an explanation. They also turned down hormone therapy in 2002 - 2003 and in the end I had to start on hormone therapy privately at another clinic. Charing Cross GIC then accused me of obtaining hormones from the internet and illegal sources. I was upset by these fabricated remarks and reported Charing Cross GIC (West London Mental Health) to the Healthcare Commission with this complaint and various other complaints regarding various referrals being declined without any explanation. I am now onto the Parliamentary Ombudsman with the same complaints.

The expenditure that my PCT (Health Authority) has paid West London Mental Health from August 2001 to January 2007 is in the region of £17,000. My argument is during that time period no treatment, no help or support has been facilitated by West London Mental Health. They basically fleeced the PCT of £17,000.  If the PCT gave an allowance to me for that kind of sum it would have been possible to access a surgeon for treatment. It might have covered GRS, breast augmentation, liposuction or facial surgery or various other surgeries needed for a gender transition. Instead my time (appox 6 and half years) was wasted and more importantly my life was wasted.

This is not a fault with my PCT who are very supportive but a fault with the present system in which employs a body like Charing Cross GIC to put a brick wall in front of a patient genuinely seeking help, support and treatment. I am also not in any need of Psychiatry and this can be backed up by my friend and head Psychologist at my local PCT.

Also a number of patients (including myself) with be taking legal action against Charing Cross GIC in the very near future. We have a vast amount of evidence against Charing Cross GIC including information leading to some patients suicides due to the lack of care and support to these patients who if they had the appropriate treatment would not have taken their own lives.

Just because you start young it doesn't always mean your'll be finished young..

your right, it doesnt... but doesnt always mean you dont...
R

Quote from: redfish on November 18, 2007, 06:54:28 PM
I honestly don't know how to explain what lead to it without writing a book.


Let's just say that I realized there was no longer any other alternative.

that comment rings true for me, after trying every  possible alternative, the only way for me to go is to transition, im kinda glad i realised this before i got married and had kids because thats just another complication i dont need

17 years of suffering & excruciating pain.  Thats what did it.