Quote from: Brett on April 26, 2015, 04:58:31 PM
Wow, this was exactly my experience, but I have never heard anyone else say this.  What type of HRT are you talking (estrogen, testosterone, both?).

(sorry, I thought this thread was in the general transexual section. hopefully it is ok I posted).

This was estro... but I'd say nevermind... if you experience this its real.
Might be some kind of relaxation of your body into this .

I was told that E may affect my memory, but I can't recall if it did or not

The whole process of HRT is the mental change in how we percieve the world about us, this take time and when I heard this initially I pooh pooh this concept. I now understand and its been a facinating process. I know that my mind will continually evolve as a female. These changes have a theme that we all similarily go thru but within that theme we have so many variables.. Sometimes we imagine certain changes because we think it more female, we want reassurance ... but we dont need it. Yes, for me, odors change, I am acutely aware of the small of men, never noticed before. My taste in music has changesd somewhat. BUT my mind is still is good in business, maybe better, because I have clarity.

Its a wonderful journey of undersatnding ourselves, enjoy....

Quote from: Dee Walker on April 26, 2015, 07:44:39 PM
Oh, no, Ian. We post back and forth all the time when we have something to add to a discussion. You trans guys can often speak to us from experience, even if it's experience you never wanted, and we can do the same for you.

The site is better because we do share space and ideas.  Not sure how much to make of that very tiny study but it does suggest Ian will get a bigger brain while mine is shrinking, along with other organs:-)  Size does not correlate with efficiency and capability however.

In analysis of myself I reckon the following:

Become more social
Become more emotional (massively big time)
Become more daring (doing big fair rides and crazy skiing antics)
Become less shy
Become more composed when speaking to Audiences
Become softer and more tolerant

What hasn't changed; driving fast; liking red wine... ooh OK, all wine!; ability to remember Jokes!!!!

L Katy 

I worried about something very similar before starting HRT. My job depends on my ability to think, and I need the money. I found no detectable difference in my work, but did reach a point where I could barely work at all due to depression caused by not transitioning.

I've have a vague recollection of reading about someone transitioning at university and finding the technical course they were studying no longer interesting, and changing to something else. I can understand how that might happen. In my case I'm way past that and not about to change careers at this point.

Quote from: a112 on April 26, 2015, 04:40:12 PM
I'm just so afraid I might lose who I've become.  I just wish there were a machine that made me happy with who I am, whoever I am.....

Its hard to explain, but I never worried about about losing who I was. It's always been about very pragmatic issues around money. I don't care if my interests change, so long as wherever I end up I'm happy.

I haven't noticed any changes in my reasoning abilities, in fact the increased clarity from the hormones have helped with memory recollection quite a bit. I am also much better in a group environment, being better able to process the ideas of others in the group and combine their ideas with mine to come up with solutions. This happened immediately when starting hormones and has continually gotten better. Since I quit my engineer job its hard to gauge right now,when I start school again in the fall I will have a better idea of this impact.

I honestly don't see any of my mental skills as being any different, but I've always been able to do things like multitask which is supposedly a female trait. I had low T most of my life though so that may explain at least some of it.

Quote from: Tessa James on April 27, 2015, 04:14:21 AM
The site is better because we do share space and ideas.  Not sure how much to make of that very tiny study but it does suggest Ian will get a bigger brain while mine is shrinking, along with other organs:-)  Size does not correlate with efficiency and capability however.

In this case, you're exactly right that size does not correlate with efficiency.  There is the encephalization quotient (brain volume to body mass ratio) that is correlated with intelligence, but it has no bearing on sexual dimorphism within a species (hence why females of a given species, which commonly have volumetrically smaller brains are no less intelligent that males of that species). 

My concern is really with the verbal fluency skills.  Statistically speaking, I have high verbal fluency for someone of my demographic, and I am terrified of losing even a small fraction of that - even if I experience a coincident gain in spatial ability (which is also higher than average for a female of my age/ education). 

Certainly, this warrants further inquiry but I'm not going to write off taking testosterone yet, especially given that I have no intention of taking it for longer than 18 months (and probably no more than 12) due to other concerns (including the desire to retain reproductive potential in case I want to use a surrogate later on.

Hmm...  Into the scientific literature I go!

At least one counter to the earlier paper:

"While no significant differences were
encountered with control women before testosterone
administration, androgen administration was
clearly associated with an increase in spatial ability
performance, sexual arousability, and aggression
proneness (the self-imagined preparedness to act).
However, we have seen no adverse effects of testosterone
administration on aggression or on sexual
behavior in female-to-male transsexuals. Verbal
fluency tasks were not consistently affected
[47,48]." (Gooren et al., 2008.  J. Sex. Med.)

These are important reasons why transition with HRT should to be thoroughly understood and recognized for the benefits and potential risks.  There are profound changes that we experience and there is not a double blind study being done for each and everyone of us.  We make educated guesses, extrapolate and hope for the best.

It is challenging to know and parse out what changes are due to the medication and those that may be a more comprehensive response to the dramatic and largely positive feelings of relief, acceptance and all that our new life encompasses.  I know several folks, one an engineer, who fear any loss of ability and will not consider HRT or an out transition.  As we often say, YMMV but this is a very welcome and positive experience for this girl with a mind at peace.

I am so looking forward to HRT (and I'll get boobs, and hopefully hips and a butt )

Thanks so much, ladies!  Sorry for the unintentional bump.  I just had to voice my appreciation for all the in-depth comments.  It honestly really means a lot.  I have been busy, else I would have replied sooner!

Quote from: rachel89 on April 27, 2015, 07:40:51 PM
I am so looking forward to HRT (and I'll get boobs, and hopefully hips and a butt )

Yes, yes, yes !
After 2 1/2 years medical research on effects of Hrt, am really looking forward to this.
Opened the genie bottle at 65 and didn't realise that that you cannot put the genie back.
There is a consistent theme that runs through all of these studies and the differences in male/female brain size and associated regions is very illuminating.                   

I already fit the female stereotypes about females being bad at math, directions, and driving, and I'm pre-HRT. This didn't start when I realized I was a transsexual, it's been that way my entire life.

Quote from: rachel89 on May 06, 2015, 05:38:32 PM
I already fit the female stereotypes about females being bad at math, directions, and driving, and I'm pre-HRT. This didn't start when I realized I was a transsexual, it's been that way my entire life.

Rachel, I don't know the extent of your issues with the things you've mentioned but you may want to look into something called Dyscalculia.. It's a math disability. I was diagnosed with it in high school and it affects all of the things you listed.

Well I can say I used to be very good at doing complicated math in my head and I was also very good with sizing things up visually.... Like say looking at a nut or bolt and knowing what size wrench would fit it ect.... Not so anymore and I feel like its more than just not using those skills particularly when it comes to math but I do feel my "spatial ability" or whatever has definitely changed as well...

I notice a huge improvement in my sense of smell for better or worse, some people, some people, but men in particular smell nasty LOL

Ive also noticed that I seem to hear better, music just sounds better to me and intricate details are easier for me to isolate and enjoy.... Its like I can have a much more intense focus on all the individual parts like say the drums and the bass/rhythm while still being able to fully experience and appreciate the melody of the vocals or guitar and keyboards ect... What used to all just sound good as a whole now has many more dimensions to it and I noticed this within my first 2 weeks on HRT   Ive liked music my whole life and while my tastes haven't really changed old favorites have a whole new meaning... While Ive always been emotionally involved with some music I also find that Its much more intense now as well    It was a very unexpected but welcome effect  I also don't seem to tolerate loud noises or music nearly as much as I used to, I just don't want or need it as loud to appreciate it...

Visually I do seem to have a better ability to appreciate colors and subtle differences in tone as well as textures, everything just seems brighter... I never really appreciated colors before and actually just preferred dark boring greys and I had no clue how to coordinate colors at all....  This I heard many times from women in my life LOL... Well thats no longer the case because I get complemented all the time now on my taste in clothing and style and it just seemed to come naturally to me

Ive always been a pretty cold, super rational, logical person, very withdrawn and shy.... While Im still a lot like that I am more emotional, warm and empathetic for sure and even more sociable

Oh please.  We all have unique and personal preferences, tastes and desires.  I am one of those who love the scent of a woman and the scent of a hot man too.  Our olfactory senses and preferences need not be couched in terms that dump on half the worlds population.  Odors are a natural feature of being human and our long history of perfumes, lotions, deodorants and concessions to cover up and eliminate those natural signals do us a disservice, IMO.

I am interested in the emotional aspect of HRT effects. Sometimes I have been accused of "acting like a woman" when I get angry (I act like a male too when I get angry sometimes, and can turn into someone you wouldn't want to know, ->-bleeped-<- testosterone), but unless I get past a certain breaking point, people say I act "bitchy" or refuse to talk with the person making me angry. I am kind of looking forward to being more in touch with my emotions and being able to show on the outside what I feel on the inside.  I became more emotionally expressive once I started transitioning, but I realize that hormones also play a part in this.

I am very bad at math, and I always have been, but I can still parallel park a tractor-trailor. So my driving ability is above average and always has been. I know that hormones have changed some things that appeal to me, but as far as I can tell there has been no actual gain or loss of any brainpower.