You got to wonder about how far the politics and things have changed in Northern Ireland. Just spoke to my best male friend and political pundit back home and told him that it was ok to ask any questions he wanted about my transition. He's said ' do you want a bit of advice' I said ok. Advice was shut the f??k up and get on with it. You got to love the new Northern of Ireland. Harsh as ever but ever the practical. Bless. Jx

Ok obviously the only Northern Ireland TG on here. No problem. Sorry for any offence. We have been through a lot and we know it's hard for others to understand. It's not the same as what you read in the papers or saw in movies and TV. Just like being trans really but with more guns and slighmtly different prejudice. I can't help where I was born and am proud of how we have made peace. I fully understand that people have no idea what I am talking about but if I can't talk about it here where can I. It's because of the crap that went on there that I took so long to come to terms with this. Hope you can understand and forgive. I am not going to apologise for what others did. I was trans in the middle of a war zone and survived even after being discovered. They used to tar and feather us. I'm proud to still be alive and be able to now come out as trans and live my life as the woman I always have been. I am also proud that my friends back home a Supporting me. Sorry for rant but some of us trans people have other things in the places where we live that have a big influence on our ability to deal with our gender issues. Ok rant over. Still need your support and love. Peace to my trans sisters who killed themselves during the war because hatred was an acceptable thing in N I. Thank god I am here. Now. It's a price page to live when so many did. It make it.ove and peace always . Jx

Quote from: JenniferGreen on May 01, 2015, 02:38:23 PM
Ok obviously the only Northern Ireland TG on here. No problem. Sorry for any offence.

I doubt you offended anyone.

QuoteIt's not the same as what you read in the papers or saw in movies and TV.

It hasn't really been in the news for awhile in the US and the only movie I can think of is Michael Collins, which came out 19 years ago.

QuoteI fully understand that people have no idea what I am talking about but if I can't talk about it here where can I.

That's the one.
Teach us, so that we can learn.

I have very little idea what's going on there, intentionally. It's too stereotypical for the Irish in North America to meddle in your politics and I just won't do that. Both of my grandmothers were Irish, but their families came over during the Famine. We just never let go but we do get weird ideas. Happy to listen, happy to learn. I did get the stereotypical attitude you were portraying, but I didn't actually see your post until this morning.

Thanks Karin and Dee. You comments are nice.  I was having a bit of a wobble and thinking of back home. I live in England now that is a much nicer environment for me.  I still have issue with being from Northern Ireland. It's a love hate thing that was never helped by me being different.  Also I am ashamed of my own attitude from when I was young that I had to maintain to fit in. Jx

Quote from: JenniferGreen on April 30, 2015, 03:32:16 PM
Advice was shut the f??k up and get on with it. You got to love the new Northern of Ireland. Harsh as ever but ever the practical. Bless. Jx

I am also from Norn Iron, Whiteabbey to be exact. My cousin used those exact words to me several years ago. She is a big LGBT supporter except when it happens in her own family. I have never heard from her again. The rest of my family "supports" me in that they talk to me and continuously and purposely mis-gender me. I asked my mother why she did it, what did she think she was going to achieve. I explained that all she was doing was annoying and upsetting me and all I got was "You're my son and always will be" followed by a rambling explanation of the huge amount of social shame she would have to endure if her friends and neighbours ever found out. She lives in the sort of estate where the kerb stones get painted in early July every year.

So I stay over here in England where people seem to be about 150 years ahead socially compared to Northern Ireland. When I look at the cr*p the yanks have to tolerate - most of it religiously based - I see echoes of Northern Ireland in it. Bigotry, intolerance and obdurancy.

Hey norniron. So pleased to find you here mucker. Back home is lovely on some fronts but family is a big issue. I have an aunt that thinks I am weird because I don't eat meat. Said to me at a funeral on time that she thinks I will grow out of it. The fact I have been one for 26 years seems to have passed her by. Sorry about you sister but as you said they are all living in an other area with attitudes. I was born on the 12 of July in finaghy so get what you have had to put up with. Jx


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I doubt I will ever go back. The family have a tendency to make sure I do not visit them over there. For example, I find out about funerals and such after the deceased is safely buried or the ashes scattered. I do not protest about it. Given that level of stupidity I am more than happy to keep them on the end of a telephone line but if they ever wise up then I am here for them.

My childhood friend knows although we have never met since I transitioned and I have not seen him since my mid 20s and that was a long time ago. He does not seem remotely bothered so perhaps there is hope that when my parent's generation are all gone things will improve.

The comedian Dave Allen once said that all Ireland's problems could be solved by burning down all the churches. As I get older I get more and more convinced that he was right.

That's a sad story but there is hope my friend. Belfast has its first gay mayor and there are good people over there. The public transport system is called Translink. I found that amusing when I was last back . It sounds like your family are real old school but that's there problem. I found that stuff sad and got out to find a better life. When Northern Ireland becomes aware of all the people they have hurt and who had to leave because of that it will finally make the changes it needs to. I will be living else where until then. I have to come out to my brother soon who is a vicar up the Creaghy? That's going to be fun. I don't care what any of them think. They taught me to think about death and how to kill. I want to think about life and love. I am in a much better place now. They have a lot to answer for. I hope they finally get the point of life. As you say when another generation dies then we may have our chance. You are so special. They are not. They are just children who have been abused and don't know any better.

P.s. Dave Allen was a great man. My dad loved him. Jx


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My mothers side of the family is/was from Northern Ireland, I waited until my grandparents had passed away before coming out, I loved them to bits but have very strong doubts that they'd accept me.
My mum has this Irish view ingrained into her that me transitioning is a form of social shame, she's happy to go shopping with me but I only get invited to her house when her exchange students are away/home.
When my auntie passed away my mum dropped repeated hints that as i'd not seen my auntie for a few years there was no point in going to her funeral but it was obvious that she didn't want certain distant family members from knowing about me being trans.

Now for the flip side of the coin, I spend a ridiculous amount of time on my Xbone & a great many of my friends on there are from various places in northern Ireland, they all accept who and what I am & support me.
They have supported me through depression, they joke with me in the good times, they get very angry when I mention having been abused that day/week. If some of them don't see me online for an extended period of time they'll start sending messages asking if i'm all right.

As with every walk of life there are good and bad people, sometimes it's not as simple as good & bad but more a case of educated & uneducated.
As we move through time the educated will outnumber the uneducated, the outdated views will fade & vanish like a morning mist. The sheer force of public perception will one day render any negative views to shrivel & die.

Quote from: JenniferGreen on April 30, 2015, 03:32:16 PMAdvice was shut the f??k up and get on with it.

As a woman of Irish descent, I think I now understand where I get my approach to things from. This is pretty much the attitude I take towards most things! 

My mum has this Irish view ingrained into her that me transitioning is a form of social shame,

Hi Jayne. You outline the issue I have exactly. It's very cultural to give power over aspects of .their life in NI to others. Priests, vicars, politicians, local community, UDA , IRA , parents. To not do so means you are ostracised . There is very powerful social control. I remember when they would use knee capping and other forms of brutality and torture to scare you into compliance. The whole place seemed to abuse everyone in some form or another. I have cousins who lived outside of the city who have not had as much of that stuff but for me it was intense. Pure hatred. I spent my childhood and teens schooled in the knowledge that I would join the fight and kill/die if my people demanded it. I never expected to live beyond 30 yoa and was resigned to that. How messed up is that. I that atmosphere having gender issues felt like a death sentence. J

I realise that I have been a bit negative about Norn Ireland. I have been told off before about that by many different people. I t my stuff really based on the horrible atmosphere created by the troubles. It's less about the violence and more about the atmosphere of hate that made being different made you a target or at least made you feel that you would be. Thankfully things have changed but it makes me very sad that I lost the chance to work that I was trans at a young age. Fear instilled at a young age has haunted me my whole life and I have a daily struggle with that. I hope that the young people back home have a better time now than when I was a kid. Our children need unconditional love and acceptance to grow into the beautiful adults we need them to be. That's the lesson I learnt from growing up in the troubles and I hope that I can use that in my life to improve things for others. Right now I need to catch up with loving myself and being me and all the other things I have not done for 40 years. Maybe I can comfort that scared confused child from Belfast that still lives in me and get on with living a happy life for what I have left of it.


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