I was visiting transgender.org, just doing typical research and what not, what I saw an article called "the basics of transition."

I was reading through when I saw the following:
"Transition is a path that is best taken only by a person who has determined that there really is no other option. If you are looking at death or transition as your only two realistic outcomes in life, then you are possibly ready to go for it."

I interpret that as "If you wanna kill yourself, you're okay to transition, if you don't, you're invalid."

I don't want to kill myself over it. Have I maybe thought about it in the early "panicky" stage of my realization? A couple of times. I look in the mirror, and I see my current shell, and I think "It's a work in progress." It's better than wanting to punch myself in the face whenever I look at myself in the mirror. I've accepted "Samantha," but I still don't feel like her yet in many ways. I do want to change, I would be a lot happier as Samantha, if my shell reflected my inner self. Do I want to kill myself? No. Could I spend the rest of my life as a dude? Sure, but I wouldn't be particularly happy. I think the envy I have for GGs, even fully transitioned MTFs, would build up more and more over time, and probably I'd eventually kill myself in shame. But just because I don't want to kill myself now doesn't make my feelings any less valid.

What do you guys/girls/people/timelords/interdimensional beings think?

Just because something is stated doesnt automatically make it true. That is clearly being OTT. Transition is typically about dysphoria. It comes down to the unease/distress/discomfort we experience with our body. That doesnt translate to 'you have to want to kill yourself before you can change it'. That is so horribly wrong and damaging, it comes across as the 'trans enough' narrative like if your dysphoria isnt that bad to the point of killing yourself then you're not really trans. That is pretty damaging really. Dysphoria varies greatly from person to person from debilitating to a discomfort that they dont want to kill themselves over. Making it seem as if only the extreme case is valid is wrong. If you are uncomfortable with your body and you feel you would be happier transitioning then transition is right for you. No one else can tell you it isnt because you dont meet x criteria. You do not need to be at the point of suicide to transition. Isnt it better we deal with it before it gets to that stage anyway?

Happiness matters the most. If transition would give you a happier life then its better than living as your assigned gender if that would be in misery. Whats right for you is right for you, not what someone else tries to state it is. I did hear it said a lot like transition should be a last resort but it should not be made out in that way. You should be sure first that its what you want/need so you dont end up realising it wasnt right for you and really thats all the 'last resort' should mean, realise its what you need and do it, just not rushing into it. It doesnt have to be a life and death scenario. For some of us it is yes but that does not make the rest invalid. They should not be making statements like that. If we are trans we are all valid whatever path we take. No one else has a right to say we're not valid

That statement is way too closed ended. I don't think I could live with myself, if I let my femininity vanish. Who are they to decide when transition is right for a person. It's stressful, and maybe that's what they were trying to say. I wouldn't say you have to be suicidal to decide to go through transition. I think that definitely could have been worded better, and if someone really believes that, I feel great sorrow for them

I can honestly tell you it's a real bummer if you leave it until you reach the death or else stage.  Having no other choice does serve to focus one's mind firmly on making a complete transition to finally stop living a lie, but it's a bit too much like having to run across no-mans' land while under fire and survive it to get to the other side.

I agree with you - I think that statement is too harsh.  And I love that you mentioned "time lords" in your post!!

Quote from: Tiffers on May 03, 2015, 07:31:27 PM
I agree with you - I think that statement is too harsh.  And I love that you mentioned "time lords" in your post!!

lol, well, in a way, we're similar. We ALSO change from one form to another, just slower.

Also Eccleston's TOTALLY underrated, and Tennant's the best

I have to wonder if its an older article views have changed a lot in the last decade or so.

Princess here, actually.

Just kidding.

But really, yes, that statement is far too open ended. And this is coming from someone who attempted 5 times in the year before she came out. It doesn't give any room for any in between. Like, I know that it essentially became the only option for me, but it's not that way for everyone. And therefore, I think it discredits a lot of different experiences. Also...just...something about it just strikes me as odd and morbid... I don't know...

Quote from: Valwen on May 03, 2015, 08:19:34 PM
I have to wonder if its an older article views have changed a lot in the last decade or so.

The site copyright date is 1998

dependent on the actual date the article is written that could be the issue, 1998 was around when I first started to understand that I am transgender, and at the time many of the transgender people I met and even more of the doctors and therapists had a very narrow view on transsexual people, I was right out told by another older trans woman that she did not think I am transgender because I don't fit the perfect out dated definition. (in short, suicidal, exclusively attracted to men, obsessed with all things female, and fully rejecting all things male, passionate hatred of your genitals exc.) she told me "you might be a ->-bleeped-<- or something" because I like video games, fantasy/Science fiction, and girls, as well as because at the time I was not sure I wanted or needed GRS.

and well that woman was the only one I talked to for any amount of time it was the view shared by many people. Its one of the things that made me doubt myself and slide back and forth into denial for years, one stupid conversation more than 15 years ago.

Great now I am sad again, Sometimes I hate my brain it never dose anything useful, just sits up there weighing down my neck and reminding me of my failures and bad moments.

--Serena

Too black and white!

I have never been close to ending it all, but I am am absolutely, utterly going to complete transition.

But then; I've never really subscribed to being controlled! Except when I did not know. A free spirit is me!

L Katy 

I have never wanted to kill myself over my gender situation, but I have been on beta blockers for high blood pressure for nine years, and I've been having panic attacks on and off (mostly on) for even longer.  If I do not make some kind of transition, I do see a long slow death from hypertension and related consequences like hypertensive kidney failure, stroke, heart attack, etc. etc.

The bottom line is cross dressing was the one thing that blunted the panic attacks and dropped my blood pressure back down to healthy levels, so much so that I was able to back off the dosage on the beta blockers.  That was when I knew for sure.

I've always been a practical girl, one to make the best of a bad situation.  When I was young and transition was a practical impossibility, I taught myself how to be pretty good at being a guy.  The trouble is, the stress of it is slowly killing me.  Call that transition or die if you will.

Well I've had my moments. I am sure many of us have thought of suicide but I don't think that lack of it should be a reason to deny people transition.

For many people they can live, but just barely. It may not reach to suicide but quality of life is greatly diminished.

And the thing about suicide attempts - some are successful. So why can't we prevent the root cause of suicide long before it reaches the level of a suicide attempt?