Many lawsuits are settled quietly without reaching court. When they hear from SPLC, they might realize that they'll have egg on their face if they defend their discriminatory policy. It's for the public good that public examples are made... but "public good" is not the same as "individual good", and you've gotta make the call.
As for your partner... outing you against your wishes is not cool. It's nice that she's being supportive, but good intent does not a good action make.