Gonna keep it short and sweet. I was very girly as a very young child (under 5) and liked more feminine things. This changed as I got older, and I realised I was trans later on than most people. Does that mean I'm not trans? I do get gender dysphoria (pretty badly sometimes) but not as often as I guess I'm "supposed" to. Appreciate any help on this, really confused and lost atm haha

Hi Sulmour - we all come to an understanding of our gender identity at different times of our lives - it doesn't make us any more or any less trans (or cis, as the case may be for those who are comfortable in their gender) than anyone else.

There really is no "norm" when it comes to the time of your life when you realized that you were a transgender. Nor do all transgenders suffer the same degree of dysphoria.
We are all individuals who have had different experiences, feelings and may or may not have heard of transgenders.

Like anything else that we perceive to be wrong (in this case being in the wrong body), sometimes it bothers us more than at other times. There are varying degrees of transition at which a person feels comfortable stopping at. For some, HRT is enough to give them peace. For others, they need to have everything possible done to consider themselves fully transitioned.

Non of those things make you less of a transgender. The only person you need to compare yourself to is yourself.

sam1234

Well its only displayed by some media that people knew from early on (this is changing now).
People are individuals, with individual histories.

You could have a look here for a few thoughts that might help:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,185096.msg1646042.html#msg1646042
Its for mtf people so a few things are the other way around...

and maybe here again... there are some contacts in there...
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php?topic=186029.5

you might play around a bit with hair and clothing styles... it can be fun... second hand shops could be a source... unisex or boys trousers, sweaters one or two sizes bigger...
and see how it makes you feel... I'd say go with a feeling of joy....

I'd say take the time you need...
its a process, but many have been there before and succeeded, and people here will try to support you.

And you might keep asking questions, alone writing might help getting a better view...

Concerning asthma, you might look up the buteyko method and talk it through with your doctor. Its by a doctor who found that many people with asthma cannot inhale because their respiratory system does not get air out sufficiently. Its a breathing method trying to methodically exhale, then inhale.


hugs

Quote from: Sulmor10 on May 02, 2015, 07:42:20 AM
Gonna keep it short and sweet. I was very girly as a very young child (under 5) and liked more feminine things. This changed as I got older, and I realised I was trans later on than most people. Does that mean I'm not trans?

I figured it out when I was 50. I had no issues with my gender until my late teens.

So no, it doesn't mean you're not trans. It means you're you.

Quote from: Sulmor10 on May 02, 2015, 07:42:20 AM
I do get gender dysphoria (pretty badly sometimes) but not as often as I guess I'm "supposed" to.

I feel that we should not let ourselves be completely defined by the pain we experience. Dysphoria is only one piece of the puzzle. There are some that have crippling dysphoria, and some that have very little to no dysphoria at all, but that should not make them "any less trans."

I have a level of dysphoria, but I do not consider myself trans because of it. I try to focus more on my own aspirations ~ things that will make me comfortable. Comparing myself to others has mostly only brought more pain, because everyone is different. Searching for validation is hard, because no two people share the same story.

- Sam

There is no "more or less" beeing trans-anything. Especially not in a judging way. What is important is that you find out what it is that you want and need and not let yourself be influenced by some supposedly standard plans or binary solutions. Also it does not mean that you are a boy or girl just because you like boys or girls stuff, clothes, toys, activities or because you act a certain way. Dont let anyone tell you  that you are not of one gender just because you like certain things. What is important is, what your gender identity is - what you deep down inside yourself feel you are - even if society would be differnt, even if there was no boys toys and girls toys but just kids toys. What body do you need to feel complete and right? the one you have now or one that needs to be fixed first? Would you also need that body if society did not have gender sterotypes you feel the need to conform to?

In the trans community sometimes there seems to be "criteria" for being trans, or a "right way" to be trans. I completely understand, as I was taken aback by these when I first opened myself to the community. A word of advice: if you're trans, you're trans. That's it. Don't pay attention to people who give you rules or standards. Keep in mind that not all people knew when they were kids! From my experience, I would say most people didn't or at least the didn't show signs. Good luck in your journey

-Ty

Why do you want the trans label anyways - Just be who you are. Calling yourself trans does not make what you do any more right, just or allowed - whatever you do in terms of your gender expression is already all of that

The same thing happened to me, I did not realize I was transgender until I was almost 17, I was doing a questionnaire sheet for a doctor and one of the questions was "How often do you think about being the opposite gender" and that really made me realize that I definitely am transgender, so don't worry, just pay attention to yourself and over time you will figure it out for yourself

Hey, I can relate to this.  I didn't have a huge sense of gender identity at a young age.  I was more a people-pleaser - older folks praised me when I did girly things, so...guess what I did! 

But then, in fourth or fifth grade, I started feeling claustrophobic in my skin.  Hid those "jealous" feelings.  Tried fitting in as a rebellious tomboy - never worked.  Wound up depressed through eighth grade.

Bottom-line - there is no "check-list" for being trans.  If you identify as a woman/man, congrats! 

Be who you are. 

Quote from: CarrotInsanity on May 07, 2015, 01:18:16 PM
Hey, I can relate to this.  I didn't have a huge sense of gender identity at a young age.  I was more a people-pleaser - older folks praised me when I did girly things, so...guess what I did! 

But then, in fourth or fifth grade, I started feeling claustrophobic in my skin.  Hid those "jealous" feelings.  Tried fitting in as a rebellious tomboy - never worked.  Wound up depressed through eighth grade.

Bottom-line - there is no "check-list" for being trans.  If you identify as a woman/man, congrats! 

Be who you are. 

I had a very similar experience when I was young. As a kid I was always told I was a boy so I always acted as manly as I could but just this past year I was doing a questionnaire psychiatrist who was evaluating my possible ADHD and one of the questions was "How often do you think about being the opposite gender" and when I read it at first I though "I have never had those kinds of thoughts" but than I stopped and thought "But wait that's a lie, I have had these thoughts for years" I turns out the girl inside me was always trying to tell me I just did not listen, after that I started researching and discovered who I really am.