Early in transition, it was a must, and something that I obsessed about with no worries, and I'd obsessed about it ever since puberty when it started feeling wrong in the first place.
Now that I'm at the point of transition where it's actually REAL, where I'm only about 10 months of savings away from really being able to afford it in real life, trust me, my mind is going into panic mode making sure I really know what the hell I'm doing.
I'm only 29 years old. I feel like maybe if I was older, maybe if I'd lived life more and had more experiences I'd be a bit more sure, but as is, it's a very serious permanent decision. It's a bit of a tug-of-war between genital dysphoria and the phantom sensations that come with it, and the fears of the unknown, worrying about complications, worrying that it won't be what I'm imagining, worrying that I'll somehow be one of those people who one day "wakes up" and realizes that it wasn't the right answer, that true transition is impossible, any number of other things.
The recovery and the dilation also has me worried.
Right now I'm of the mindset of "scared, but it probably needs to be done."