Hello everyone !
Honestly, I don't know what I'm here. Maybe I'm trying to find answers to my wanderings and questions to my feelings. Or maybe I just want to talk about myself (because I'm very narcissistic) and my experiences with people who could understand me so I'd feel less alone. I don't know. There are a lots of things I don't know about myself, my gender (agender ?), my sexuality (asexual ?), my romantic interest (panromantic ?). All of those wanderings make me sick. Can I tell you my story (say "yes" because I'm doing it anyway !) ?
I was born the twelfth of November 1997 in Paris (so yeah, I'm French, sorry for my English) as a female. When I was a child, most of my friends were boys and when I played with girls, I wanted to be a boy in the story we were acting (fun fact : once I was playing with a boy but I was the daddy and he was the mummy). I've always been a cross-dresser, but I've never really felt like I was a boy. My parents never liked the way I dressed, so I was caught between my wants of wearing boy clothes and my parents. So I've worn lots of bad looking sports neutral clothes, at least they were comfortable. People told me "When you'll grow up, you'll wear makeup and dresses". I grew up and I still don't wear makeup or dresses. Once I tried a dress to please my mum, but that make me laughed a lot because it felt really inappropriate to me. Currently, I think I'm agender because I neither feel like a woman nor a man. I look really androgynous, and lots of people call me "mister", I don't care at all, I don't even correct them. I recently came out to my mum, but she didn't understand, it was all new to her and it's hard to explain. At the moment I'm trying to make myself a binder (I hate having breast) because I don't know where I could buy one in Paris, but it's kind of difficult.
I know I'm young but I'm confused, I don't know what to do and I can't stand it
I think I have finished, thanks for reading.
Bye ! 

Hey Mister Alex!

Welcome to Susan's    Great to have you here - looking forward to seeing you around the forum.

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Cheers

Grace

Hi Mister Alex, welcome to Susan's. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Thank you very much !

Hi Alex 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Welcome to Susan's Mister Alex, I am sure you'll find folks here that can help you with some of your questions.

Look forward to seeing you about the forums...

L Katy 

Alex,

Welcome. In whatever way you are questioning and trying to find your true self, it is good and this seems to be a very safe spot to do it. If you want to poke around a bit, maybe you can find some subjects of interest. I certainly have.

I am just exploring the trans side of myself and I am 50. So while you may feel both grown up and young I think when it comes to facing these personal issues we are all children yet. The brain seems to be the next frontier and it is becoming more clear that it greatly affects who we are.

This has been an incredibly supportive community to me in a fairly dark time. Reach out if you need it. I believe people will be there to share stories, ideas and empathy. Take your time, have a sense of humor and try to have courage.

Joanna

Thank you very much Joanna, I really appreciate your message 
I'm a bit shy IRL and I feel really welcome there. So you're right I probably find a good place !

Welcome to Susan's.

Hey Alex,

Many people come here with similar uncertainties as what you have. I hope you, find some clarity and peace of mind.

Looking forward to hearing from you!

Hi new!
(jk)

Alex, welcome, you're in a good place (for exploring your gender and identity)

Sometimes, it's ok just to be however you are (if not always) without needing to label it.
If you are looking for defining more though, I recommend you investigate non-binary genders. Agendered & Androgynous do seem to fit more from what you said, but if you feel a tiny bit more like a boy/guy inside than female, have a look at a gender called Demiguy. (this is the part, on genderwiki that you might relate to: "[...]or someone assigned female at birth who is trans masculine but not wholly binary-identified, so that they feel more strongly associated with "male" than "female," socially or physically, but not strongly enough to justify an absolute self-identification as "man".")

And hey, just keep the ball rollin', keep bein' you, and discovering who you are at heart.
lovely days to you Alex 

Well, thanks again to you all !

You might be right Majj Wynn, in fact I've already heard about Demiguy but I didn't pay that much attention to it. But the definition you give me seems to fit me rather well. Finding my gender is going to be a long quest 
Have a good day to !

Hello Alex and welcome to Susan's. I began exploring my gender ten years ago. I was 56 at the time. Many feelings were bubbling inside of me. Now I am a happy and content transgender woman. Whatever you want to be, pursue it. The resources here are great. Ask any questions that you may have. I'm happy  :)that you found the site.