Last night I came out to a cis guy who's been a casual friend for a few years now -- we like each other a lot, but haven't been in touch very much since I had to close my business, even though he was one of the (not too many) people who were super-concerned at the time about how I was doing. He stopped by briefly over the weekend, and last night we got together for a beer.
I knew I was going to come out to him and I was 99% sure he'd be just fine with it, but it went SO well, I'm still just smiling.
We talked for a while, just catching up on work and family stuff, health stuff, and whatnot, and then we got talking more seriously -- about the major depression I was in when I lost the business, and how I'm doing now, what's changed in my life... so I said, "Well, yeah, there is this pretty big change... how do I put this? I'm a guy now -- I'm transitioning to male."
He said "Huh -- y'know, that's really interesting, because I know another person in your exact same business who transitioned to male!" He talked about some other trans people he knew and asked some of the usual questions, in a very polite and sensitive way. But my transition wasn't the sole focus of our conversation after that -- it just sort of came up now and then, and we talked about some other aspect of it, then went off on some other subject.
At one point he looked at me and said "Stop waving your hands around! Guys sit like this!" (Leans back in the chair and crosses his arms.) So I did, and we both broke up laughing.
It just felt completely natural to share this with him, and it was clear he felt pleased and honored that I'd told him. We got into other personal stuff after that -- both of us opening up in a way we hadn't before. We gave each other a hug when we got up to leave, and he said "Great guy hug! That backslapping thing is really important -- and if you break a rib, so much the better!"
Openness, trust, humor, caring -- it just doesn't get any better. I am a happy camper today. And I now have a "guy stuff" coach...
