Ummm... I have a ->-bleeped-<- after me. I think they are a little creepy, but it seems like no one else is into t-girls. He was kind of creepy, but not super creepy, like some kind of serial killer or something. I don't want guys who seek out pre-ops, sexually, there is conflict of interest. I dpn't have a problem with guys who have some other type of fetishes as long as they can keep it in check, but the ->-bleeped-<- thing creeps me out a little bit. Maybe it was a hangup because he was a lot older. Can anyone relate their first experiences with a guy during transition that is not too graphic for this board.

I've had ->-bleeped-<-s. It has always either been at work, or randomly in passing... Register lines at stores and stuff like that. At work, It's a matter of staying professional and that's what I do to shut them down and get them to leave me. "I don't date coworkers." "You really need to stop hitting on me." Those usually work. Bring HR into it if you gotta.
Outside of work, it's not usually anything more than just a passer by flirting. I usually ignore it.
I'm a lesbian though... so I'm guessing this is a straight girl advice thread?

Ignoring them works most of the time, though when I was training to be a social worker I did have one who persistently followed after me in his car while I was walking home.  I reported him to the Police and they went around to see him at home and told him to stay away from me or else.  The Policewoman I spoke to was great by the way and she very firmly assured me that they would sort him out for me.
Before that I once had the embarrassing situation of a guy following after me jingling coins in his pocket, but when I ignored him he went away.

The strangest one of all was when a middle aged guy who'd I'd hired to steam clean the mould and moss off my concrete driveway tried to ask me out.  I'd not long entered religious life as a solitary and I was wearing a Franciscan work habit at the time.  Go figure 

i'm dealing with a bisexual male, and at the bar I almost always go to. I have actually had gay men hit on me or stare at me in the grocery store in when I have to go out in boy mode, but it only lasts for a second, and from my experience gay men aren't really that interested in people like me. He was almost definitely a ->-bleeped-<- I feel a little icky for making out with someone  like that. BTW, I posted more about it sexuality forum. I understand guys have various kinks/fetishes, I also have certain ones too, but why can't guys just be a little more polite about it?

Why can't ->-bleeped-<-s just find a gay man who will go in drag for them or at least just pay cash for what they want with no pretenses?  Other than I didn't think he was that cute, it is the lack of respect that irritates me, he should have at least have been open about his thing for t-girls.

I'm totally down with guys being into trans-girls, and fancying me in that way. I don't identify as female - I idenfity as transsexual - so I have no conflict here.

When it comes to ->-bleeped-<-s though, I'm not sure who should be more afraid - me, or them!

In my apartment, I have an oversized set of wooden rosary beads hanging from one wall, and a leather collar with chain leash hanging off another.

It is a test. Most people run a mile when they see that. Those who can handle it, are most likely to be compatible with the Boo... :~]

Quote from: SarahBoo on May 11, 2015, 02:40:19 AM
I'm totally down with guys being into trans-girls, and fancying me in that way. I don't identify as female - I idenfity as transsexual - so I have no conflict here.

When it comes to ->-bleeped-<-s though, I'm not sure who should be more afraid - me, or them!

In my apartment, I have an oversized set of wooden rosary beads hanging from one wall, and a leather collar with chain leash hanging off another.

It is a test. Most people run a mile when they see that. Those who can handle it, are most likely to be compatible with the Boo... :~]

*yawns* Wouldn't even raise an eyebrow.. Now, an open fire with an arrangement of branding irons would be a different story..

Quote from: kelly_aus on May 11, 2015, 04:17:37 AM

Quote from: SarahBoo on May 11, 2015, 02:40:19 AM
I'm totally down with guys being into trans-girls, and fancying me in that way. I don't identify as female - I idenfity as transsexual - so I have no conflict here.

When it comes to ->-bleeped-<-s though, I'm not sure who should be more afraid - me, or them!

In my apartment, I have an oversized set of wooden rosary beads hanging from one wall, and a leather collar with chain leash hanging off another.

It is a test. Most people run a mile when they see that. Those who can handle it, are most likely to be compatible with the Boo... :~]

*yawns* Wouldn't even raise an eyebrow.. Now, an open fire with an arrangement of branding irons would be a different story..

What's odd about that?

I was *trying* to be discreet :~o

Quote from: rachel89 on May 10, 2015, 01:50:23 AM
Why can't ->-bleeped-<-s just find a gay man who will go in drag for them or at least just pay cash for what they want with no pretenses?

I've been with admirers, and in my experience they never identify as gay (or even bisexual).  They don't find gay or exaggerated drag personalities attractive, and don't want to be with a cis-male.   They're attracted to women in every way, but they have a fetish for male genitalia.

But like other men who are fueled by sexual attraction, some admirers are creepy ->-bleeped-<-s, and some are civilized.

Quote from: SarahBoo on May 11, 2015, 02:40:19 AM
I'm totally down with guys being into trans-girls, and fancying me in that way. I don't identify as female - I idenfity as transsexual - so I have no conflict here.

I have a similar mindset in that I honestly would prefer to be with someone who prefers trans guys because it eliminates a lot of complications.  I would also prefer to be with a transgender woman, though, I don't care about pre-/non-/post-op status because it's not a sexual thing, it's an emotional thing.  That said, there is a difference between someone having a preference, and someone being a ->-bleeped-<-.  ->-bleeped-<-s objectify us, and that's not something that many people would feel comfortable with - and it's certainly not sustainable as a basis for a relationship. 

I've been chased IRL twice (once because I'm trans, once because of assumptions of my ethnicity), and online more times than I care to remember (for both of the same reasons...); I've also been stalked three times (twice by straight guys, and once by a transgender woman  ).  Both IRL ->-bleeped-<-s were men (one gay, one I assume was straight), and the online ones have been a mixed bag of genders and sexual orientations, and even included other transgender people occasionally.  I've also fended off ->-bleeped-<-s from my ex-girlfriend, friends, and random people occasionally. 

My experience IRL with the one gay guy who was chasing me specifically because I'm trans just felt disgusting.  I was caught off-guard by what appeared to just be a normal guy; I'm obviously trans, he was obviously gay so, I thought, "hey, we can chat and he's probably at least less confused or judgmental."  For whatever reason, I apparently radiate "bisexual" despite being straight so, I'm not unfamiliar with having gay guys flirt with me; I'll flirt back if they're pretty enough and I'm bored enough.  But this was very, very different, and I was being as *obviously straight* as possible without actually making out with some woman in front of him.  I made it clear that I wasn't interested, but he tried desperately to keep the conversation going, and quickly blurted out that he had a "thing for guys with vaginas."  He wasn't bright at all, and was clearly desperate.  Also, it was clear that he thought that I should react with interest and gratitude - "hallelujah, someone want me!" is what these kinds of people expect us to feel.  And that's the thing about ->-bleeped-<-s is that they absolutely do not care about how we feel, or what we are or are not attracted to.  To them, we are sex objects who "should be grateful" for their attention, and who therefore "owe" them access to our bodies.  I have no problem in the world with cisgender gay men who will or even prefer to couple with transgender men - hey, gay guys need love, too.  But.  There is a subset of gay men (and with regards to women, a subset of straight men) who basically view transgender people as ultimate "bottoms" because they dehumanize us, and thus view our bodies as vessels to satisfy their fantasies without any regard to what we want; this is how, for example, a straight transgender woman can end up (unknowingly or knowingly) sleeping with one of these guys and being totally unsatisfied - because they literally care 0% about her satisfaction.  These incidents can also turn violent, because again, they don't care.

Anyway, that's my ->-bleeped-<- experience.  If you feel like it's reaching a stalker-ish stage, and want to bounce preventative measure ideas off of someone, feel free to PM me, but I don't really want to share the stalker stories.

I've had a couple possible ->-bleeped-<-s but suspect I'll get more over time. What I did and will do in the future is not make eye contact, say "no thank you", and keep on moving.

i pretty much set them straight first thing. i'm also into women so... they're kinda barking up the wrong tree anyway. if they keep things civil i don't mind talking with them/answering questions. if they don't get the hint i just stop talking to them entirely.

I never encountered them IRL - but there are lots and lots of them online. Just give them some time and dont rush things - sooner or later, if they are "->-bleeped-<-s" they will slip up and some creepy stuff will come up in written exchange (no matter how sweet or sensible they may appear initially).
I also had a couple of coffee dates with gay dudes, but they are clearly not my thing. They were actually quite nice personality wise, but apparently they had imagined something totally different - like that they would meet effeminate boy... Instead, they had to deal with me and although coffee and chat was nice, they also admitted that they kinda cannot stand females and natural femininity, per se. Oh well, nevermind. Rinse and repeat .

I'm waiting for my first ->-bleeped-<-. I did have one online though, he wouldn't let me get online without a message from him popping up , quite annoying.

My advice is live and let live. We know it's OK to identify anywhere we want on the gender spectrum, and it's reasonable to expect people to desire partners from all over the spectrum. Attaching an arbitrary label like "->-bleeped-<-" to someone strikes me as wrong. Live and let live. Date who you want.  Don't call people names. This is all basic stuff.

Hugs, Devlyn

"I've been with admirers, and in my experience they never identify as gay (or even bisexual).  They don't find gay or exaggerated drag personalities attractive, and don't want to be with a cis-male.   They're attracted to women in every way, but they have a fetish for male genitalia."

i think theres more to it than that, from personal experience.
i think they are perhaps deeply repressed transexuals who are into the idea of someone loving being female, and having sex as a woman. i know thats how i felt. i was projecting my sex drive onto someone else, and the only way i could do it in a male body was to fantasise i was with a tgirl. these days the 'fetish' for chasing a tgirl has absolutely gone, and im much happier imagining just being the girl, either with a guy or another girl. ill always be a TG, obvi, but inside i feel like a woman so, thats how i live. so i think '->-bleeped-<-s' if they are clean and nice could probably be a lot of fun to bang, but in the long term, im not convinced it would work out. they dont really want a person with a life beyond sex, anymore than they would  use a sex toy to eat with or go to the cinema with.
Just my 2c im open to debate on this one..

Being seriously dysphoric I disliked being seen as some sort of kinky penis life support system by males.  When I was still naive and inexperienced I thought telling a partner, 'No, I don't like that', would be enough, but after being ignored and being told, 'Oh I'm sure you'll like it', and unpleasantly groped all too often I gave up on even considering any man who was attracted to me as being human remotely trustworthy.  So for me all men are '->-bleeped-<-s' if they demonstrate any kind of interest in me outside of non-sexual ordinary social interactions.

And you are completely right Devlyn '->-bleeped-<-' isn't a particularly nice label to paste on anyone and I'm more that happy to live and let live just so long as men stay away from me and do what they want to do with other people.