The Privilege of Being Pretty -- #PassingCanMean #PrettyPower -- The Transgender Struggle

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nikki-araguz/the-privilege-of-being-pr_b_7232966.html?utm_hp_ref=transgender

Huffington Post - The Blog
Posted: 05/12/2015 4:15 pm EDT Updated: 05/12/2015 4:59 pm EDT

Nikki Araguz Loyd
American Equality Activist, Mom, Writer, Mentor, Overcomer and Guardian Of The Goddess.

The way I have been treated in my life has generally been really well. I have never been homeless, jobless or hungry. In fact, when my husband died in 2010 and I became the only and most widely reported story about a Trans* person in America, many people were nice to me. I gained the support of five law firms and 18 lawyers while every news station wanted an interview with me, because I was pretty. ....

Today I encourage you to look in the mirror and tell yourself "I am pretty, I am worthy, and I love Me!" and then go tell someone else, and even more I ask that the next time you encounter a transgender individual offer them a kind word about their appearance.
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Can I paraphrase Jerry Springer? Treat each other kindly today. You and others face so much grief from the outside world, please be nice to one another.

Traci

Unfortunately I don't think affirmations will fix the problem. Interesting that what started out to be an article about the difficult and challenging problem of passing privilege ended up with such a trite and ineffective conclusion.

Suzi, I think that's putting it mildly. I'd go farther, and say that it's an attitude that's about one millimeter from blaming the victim. "Oh, people harassed you today? You must not believe that you're pretty."

"...divine pretty power..." !! Sheesh.

We live in a society in which looks matter far more than they should, and in which the prevailing standards of beauty are unattainable for most everyday folk. And we're supposed to buy into this? Um, no.

I don't think people really care if a person is transsexual as long as they are passable and better yet passable and pretty.  I pass very easily and not bad looking and I'm treated very well in life.  It's a shame human beings are more visually oriented than open minded.  But this kind of thing isn't just restricted to transgender, it also applies to people in general.  Attractive people are treated better that's just human nature.

Ok, I see your points and agree that affirmations aren't going to change reality. My first read through though was, with all the difficulties many trans folk have, is be encouraging. the first point of the affirmations is to learn to love yourself for who you are and secondly share that encouragement with someone you may meet.

It especially struck me because there were several transwomen in the support group I had gone to that I later met on the street and calling them by name and gendering them correctly really seemed to make their day and brought a smile to their face. They were early in transition and totally looked like men trying to dress as women and weren't very passable and from the group I knew they had met with a lot of rejection, so meeting someone who treated them well was a nice surprise.  I guess I let my own feelings cloud my perception of the blog post.

It reminded me of the way a co-worker used to end their e-mails. "Be kind to others because you never know how bad a day they're having." I'm a cock-eyed optimist, I believe that somehow, someway, by sharing a smile a a kind word of encouragement, you may save the life of someone who was contemplating taking theirs.

Traci