I'm stuck without a binder, and it sucks.

I'm finding myself more and more tempted to try something risky (like ace bandages) even though I know how unsafe it is, and how it probably wouldn't do a ton to relieve me of my dysphoria.

I just am growing tired of the whole... chest situation. It's aggravating. I get bottom dysphoria, but I can cope with that. Social dysphoria brought on by being perceived as female is much more difficult, but I can push through it. And besides, I have a wonderful community of trans friends online who are always there to reassure me of my identity when I need it. (yep, I'm talking about you guys )

Chest dysphoria, on the other hand, just seems like it's never going to end. I feel numb and disconnected from my body, and I really don't know what to do. It's like there's no way to stop it. I can lessen it, yeah, but it's never going away. There's no solution.

I'm so sick of feeling this way. I'm not going to do anything stupid, but I just don't know how to handle being without a binder. I don't know how I'm going to deal with not seeing a flat chest when I look down.

I don't know why I'm posting this. I guess I just need to know if anyone else feels the same, or if anyone has advice for dealing with this.

Dealing with an untransitioned chest can be the worst. Binders slip, can leave painful creases or windup falling part way down. On the other hand, its one of the cheapest surgeries. If you are lucky and have an A cup, you can get away with loose shirts, but its always on your mind. I spent years with my shoulders slumped over trying to hide mine.

There are some things that are better about teens knowing what is going on and how to fix it, even if they don't have the money to do so, but I also think it makes the wait longer, knowing but having no means of doing things about it. Are you old enough to get a weekend job or after school job? If you aren't out to your family but want to have the money to start when you do come out, you may have to push burgers for a while.

Its hard coming out to your parents  if you haven't already. I'm sure you know the risks and have probably gone through them a thousand times in your head. I know some people think its better to feel them out on the subject first, but that doesn't always give you an idea of what your parents will do when they find out about you. They may not agree with transitioning for people in general, yet when they are faced with their own child's pain and need to transition, they may look at it differently and wind up backing you. Had I asked my parents opinions first, I think they would have had a bad reaction. As it was, I just came out and told them what was going on, and they backed me. By then I was in my mid twenties.

If you don't have a therapist, get one. They are not only able to help you work out your own feelings, but they are also a good source of information when it comes to finding Dr. s who work with transgenders. There are therapists that specialize in helping parents cope with children who have gender dysphoria. When I came out to mine parents, as good as they were at backing me, they had a hard time understanding why it happened and what the best thing they could do for me was. My therapists found them someone who could answer those questions and who had the degree and experience as well as being a non-involved helper.

There are varying price ranges depending on the surgeon, and you can get them either straight off a web site, or contace an office you find online and ask them for an estimate. Also, if you haven't started HRT, that can help shrink your breasts.

Point is, binding is uncomfortable and you don't want to spend anymore time than than you have to. I gave up on it. There were no good binders back then and all i had in my area was ace bandages. I felt like i had to watch every move i made or the whole thing would unravel. Find someone who can help you though the process. Its much easier that way. I wish you luck. I know how hard it is.

sam1234

Search online for free or low cost binder exchanges. Often times when guys get top surgery or gain/lose weight and need to buy a new binder, they will put their old ones online for people who aren't able to get one for full price. I've seen people give them away for free, or ask for the price of postage.

Why do you no longer have a binder? Can you not afford a new one? If so, like FTMax said, there are places you can get free ones.

Now, my response to the rest is probably really useless unless you're a certain type of person, but I (and others) have found meditation to be really helpful at dealing with all sorts of issues. Whether its helping cope with dysphoria, stress from work, or other events. It takes a long time of practice,  but if you have the dedication it can help your mind dealing with its problems.

Just thought I'd chime in just to let you know I completely understand where your coming from and how you feel ... chest dysphoria is horrible, like you I have bottom dysphoria but it's way more manageable to me than my chest. It's the one thing that screams female and causes me to be mistaken for female more than I like, causing me to become more of an introverted home body than I already was Personally I have a bigger chest that even with binding I cannot hide ... it helps a bit but not as much as I would like, looser shirts help to hide things and if you have a smaller chest you might be able to get away with a sports bra and a snug fitting tank top ... it's what I wear around the house when I can't stand my binder anymore, it doesn't flatten my big chest but makes me feel better and there is a manly feeling that comes from lazing about it a men's tank and boxer shorts ... sorry not sure if I said anything helpful or if I just rambled on but at the very least I hope you know that your not alone in this.

just a couple more thoughts. Bench pressing can built the muscle beneath the breast tissue, giving you a more male build. Also, there are cis males out there with gynomastia, a condition where male breast tissue is more developed than it should be. In short, they have breasts. Using a more comfortable binder in combination with some weight work may help you get around the issue of your breasts being so obvious. If you manage to look male enough, few people would dare to question your gender, even if they saw what they thought looked like breasts. You do need to come across as a confident male though, and be ready to stand tall in the face of the occasional misgendering by people you see.

sam1234

I'm not sure if this is allowed (correct me if it isn't) but I had surgery recently and have an almost new XS tri top. I could give it away, but its really, really small. Just a warning

Thanks for all the advice, guys. It means a lot. Yeah I can't afford to buy one and am unable to get a job at the moment. I'll try searching for binder exchange programs, see how that works out, and then go from there and try out some of your other suggestions

Quote from: jumpthenexttrain on May 02, 2015, 11:26:30 AM
I'm not sure if this is allowed (correct me if it isn't) but I had surgery recently and have an almost new XS tri top. I could give it away, but its really, really small. Just a warning

I don't think that's allowed, but I might be wrong. (thank you for being so kind to offer!)

Quote from: sam1234 on May 01, 2015, 10:12:58 AM
just a couple more thoughts. Bench pressing can built the muscle beneath the breast tissue, giving you a more male build.

Actually, doing some chest resistance training may not help. Unless the person lifts well enough and eats a proper diet that's developed to shred fat (to make the breast smaller) and gain muscle, building the muscle underneath may actually make the breasts appear larger (bigger muscle underneath will push them up and out more). Most people who get down to a very low body fat only stay there short term because it's unhealthy to maintain. To properly lifts weights enough to get a somewhat male appearance requires a complete lifestyle change and years of work.

A better approach is overall fitness and not targeted fitness toward a specific muscle group. A leaner body overall will help, and then adding in resistance training can help achieve a more male appearance (just having more toned arms can help you pass more).

Give away is OK.

It sounds like you're having a rough go of it right now. If giving away a binder is indeed allowed and you fit in an underworks medium, I have one that I've worn maybe five times that I'd be willing to part with?

thanks again for all the help ^_^

Quote from: LordKAT on May 13, 2015, 08:06:29 PM
Give away is OK.

ah okay, thank you for clarifying! if I were to get an Underworks binder it'd have to be size small, so unfortunately jumpthenexttrain and hardyboy neither would fit properly :/ but thank you both so much for being so kind, it means a lot <3

Just popping in to say I understand how you feel. I think what's most awful for me is that I've never been able to go swimming without having extreme dysphoria, unless it's at a beach where I can wear a shirt and shorts. Being without a binder is less than ideal; but I'd agree that I've seen forums and such where people were giving away their old binders.  I think it'd be really helpful for you to look out for that kind of thing.

Until then, try wearing a sports bra that has a tighter fit - this gives it the nice, tight feeling (no bounce), although it may not bind completely.