Well it took me three tries to get the guts up to typing this down but here goes nothing.
Hello good people of the internet, My name is not important to you, but you will probably insist on giving me a menial title, so just go with Zedan if you must. I am twenty, I have Asperger's syndrome, which is my excuse for being overly literal sometimes, and epilepsy*, which is my excuse for my migraines and still living with my mother. I am basically a Male to Female transsexual who is in still hiding that fact from everyone out of fear. For the past eight or so years I have questioned weather I was really "worthy" of the title transsexual, as if admitting who I was required some sort of test. A bunch of ugly stuff happened between now and then and either I passed that test or missed it entirely because now there is no doubt in my mind about who I am. But now that I openly admit who I am to myself and to my long time girl friend**, I'm left in a bit of a quandary*** of where to really get started. As in, I have no clue what the first step to transitioning is if it is in fact the same for everyone, which I think is not. So that's why I have come here, to get advice from people who have been where I must go, or at the very least learn what not to do. In return I might be able to give my optimistic opinion on things, or a blunt answer where required.

*yes epilepsy is technically defined by seizures but when under control via medication it can also results in migraines, but hey, no seizures in five years! Good trade as far as I'm concerned.

**she was actually the one who encouraged me to come out so no worry's there

***translated as: I'm terrified about hurting people I love so I want to absolutely sure I know my stuff before I come out to anyone inside my family.

Also before anyone asks, I live in California but from what I've seen that makes no difference for trans* people of any sort, at least in "Great Central Valley".

Anyways, I have probably wasted quite enough of your time in my ramblings thank you for it and have a nice day.

                                                                                                                                   

Hi Zedan, Welcome to Susans. Your in the right place and among friends now. A therapist would be a great place to start. I look forward to seeing you around the site. Good luck and hugs
Mariah

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A therapist is a great way to start. So is coming here and meeting some of the many people who have been or are going through some of the same stuff you are. You are definitely not alone and have come to a great place to get advice or just share. It always helps when you have a friend that is accepting of you, I'm glad you have one.

Hi Zedan 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

Hi Zedan,
Welcome to Susan's, and you're certainly not wasting time on ramblings, glad to hear that your epilepsy is under control.

As per the previous comments, a Gender Therapist would be a great place to start and just air your feelings and help you, as far as fear in coming out to those you love, hey I'm still there after so many years, but about to change that... so you are amongst lots of people with similar issues and guilt. You'll find so much information, guidance and life stories here... so good to have you here and hope to see you about the forum.

L Katy 

Hi Zedan and welcome to Susan's.