so i no longer live with my parents and i do have all the freedom i need and want these days. and am generaly happy but i keep a rather firm connection with my family and i visit my parents over at their place every weekend.. the thing with that is in one way it does me good to keep good touch with them while in the same time not being too dependant on them. but when i come over to them i give up some of my freedom and well last time i came over i had a rough conversation with my mother and it ended up in me getting triggered and having a bad emotional reaction. im over at their house again right now and am leaving tommarow morning again back to my place but im feeling bad and am trying to grasp why im feeling this.. maybe im just getting used to be free so when i give it up again i feel bad and if so what can be done?.
i can think of one option that in a way[big way] will be bad from all sides but might help the bad feeling.. losing some of the tightness in me-family connection. not coming over to them as often and see how i feel when i do come over
or i dont know

I don't know , but I'd just take it a day at a time. Your not dependent on them , so why worry about it . You can leave anytime you want. You can talk to them or not depending how you feel they're treating you. Just take it easy and move forward slowly.

Perhaps it is time to start weaning yourself from them. Rather than every weekend not just stopping by to say "Hi" but staying over; Call; Just stop in for lunch or dinner; Make it every 2-3 weeks. It's not like you are cutting them out, just being more of an independent person.

Of course, you can always stop by more often in the future if the emotional need is far greater