Spend some time reading through various topics that catch your attention. Be welcome here, there are plenty of us here who will have also experienced feelings that you can describe.
Find peace with yourself and understand that what you have is a gift of sorts, a prickly and thorny gift sometimes, but one that lets you see with somewhat different perspective. I genuinely hope that you will find your path of acceptance and that you'll be able to become all the person that you are.