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What if you had the choice to be cis?

Started by Obfuskatie, May 19, 2015, 12:45:04 AM

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Obfuskatie

I've thought about what my life would have been like had I been born a cisgender girl, and although I wouldn't have had to deal with any trans issues I would prefer to be as I am today.
The best relationship I have with anyone, is with my mom. And if I'd been assigned female at birth, I know she would have been more overprotective because of traumas in her past that I would have had a very strained relationship with her. We would have fought all the time, and I'd be missing out on how awesome my mom can be. Btw, she's already ramped up her overprotectiveness after I have been living full-time and it has led to some heated discussions. But since I have 29 years of knowing her before transition, there's a lot of trust and goodwill built up on both sides mitigating her and my stubbornness.
I wouldn't have the same friends as I do now, who are such good friends it's like I have two extra brothers. Granted I've stopped talking to a lot of people in my past, but my best friends are very important to me. I wouldn't have met them the same way (on the boys soccer team) before high school. And I wouldn't have been as accepted as a defacto addition to my brother's social circle of friends a few years older, had I presented as female then.
The reason I'm alive today, is because of my friends and family grounding me. Although I wouldn't have had to deal with nearly as much bullying, and my romantic relationships would have been a lot easier. I still wouldn't trade what I have now for an easy life without the same relationships I treasure.
What do you guys think? Would it be preferable to be cis or trans if you had the choice? Do you obsess about ridiculous things as much as I do?

     Hugs,
- Katie
Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk



If people are what they eat, I really need to stop eating such neurotic food  :icon_shakefist:
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Jen72

While I maybe pre everything well mostly accepting myself but anyway. Honestly i would not want to be CIS born since really its a fact that you are who you are by both innate being and experiences that have taught you things about life. By changing such an important part of you if you could in the past would really change you to someone else even if you transitioned earlier you would be different.

Everything has a time and a place and when we are ready for change its when we are ready.
For every day that stings better days it brings.
For every road that ends another will begin.

From a song called "Master of the Wind"" by Man O War.

I my opinions hurt anyone it is NOT my intent.  I try to look at things in a neutral manner but we are all biased to a degree.  If I ever post anything wrong PLEASE correct me!  Human after all.
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Tamar

With the ability to medically transition these days,I'd have to say I would want to be who I am. 60 or more years ago when it was not possible,I know it would have killed me,so I would have preferred being born cis,and happy with myself.
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Tossu-sama

Being born cis would make things infinitely easier on certain aspects but in the end I prefer things the way they are. I may not be the perfect human being - even if that was a possibility - but I kinda like myself nevertheless and I believe being trans has made me aware of many things that I would otherwise just pass by as something insignificant.
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Wild Flower

Yes. Of course.

Unless I was beyond ugly... than no.
"Anyone who believes what a cat tells him deserves all he gets."
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suzifrommd

I wish I had been born a cis female. There are so many things they experienced that I never will. I will always feel separate from them, even as I want in the worst way to be one of them. And my body, cobbled together from spare parts, will never function as well as their finely tuned machines.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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katrinaw

Yes I wish I'd been born CIS female, always did...

Whilst this is an experience, life would have been so much simpler...
No pain of telling your family you are not who they thought you were.

L Katy  :-*
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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enigmaticrorschach

I wouldn't. I enjoy being who I am. it gives life the spice that I'm looking for. however I have thought about it but than a question popped up. if I'm trans now, if I was born cis femalw, would I have that nagging feeling I should of been born a male? maybe, maybe not but I'm content in this moment

Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk

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katrinaw

Haaa, was about to put that in my post, but changed my mind as I felt it would spin us way off topic  :P

L Katy
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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katrinaw

Thinking on this a bit more....

I know I am a bit of an obsessive compulsive, very fussy, always looking for perfection...

If I was CIS female I would hope I was very attractive, but would that stop me further pushing for perfection?
Would I actually ever be content?
Would I be me? I guess not!
Scary but inquisitively... would I be married, with kids, or a career girl?
I know my Mum would have been delighted, I think she always wanted a girl, she got 3 boys, well 2 and a half??

Right now I am me, I dream of being who I was always meant to be, maybe there was always a purpose in life.

Its actually like trying to crystal ball a different world...

L Katy
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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Abby Claire

Let's see, I would have an easier time finding work, I wouldn't constantly feel the anxiety of hiding who I am in public, clothes would (possibly) fit more naturally (instead of a tiny waist and broad shoulders making it difficult), relationships would be more straightforward for whoever I was involved with, I wouldn't have to worry about medical bills as much, I wouldn't need to worry about public restrooms or be as concerned with my safety in public, and I could have children.

Of course I would rather be cis. As much as I appreciate the support I've received, I don't care to be the trans friend in a group of girls and I don't care for the droves of old friends who have come to support me. I didn't transition because I wanted the attention, I did it because I hated my body.

And frankly, I don't get how any transwoman can answer this and say they'd rather be trans. The question never has any qualifiers like "Cis, but ugly" or "Cis, but a completely different person", it just asks if you'd rather be cis. So if everything remains the same except that ONE difference, why wouldn't you want to be cis?
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suzifrommd

If I were cis, no one would ever accuse me of hurting my family or disobeying God's laws by being my gender.
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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katrinaw

Quote from: suzifrommd on May 19, 2015, 08:04:18 AM
If I were cis, no one would ever accuse me of hurting my family or disobeying God's laws by being my gender.

True to that!

L Katy
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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jamela

I would take the choice of being cis without thinking twice :)
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Kitty June

Ah, to born cis female would have been great. Instead of shame for how I felt, it would have been normal. No shame for putting makeup on the Barbie head. No sneaking clothes that you couldn't keep. I wouldn't have spent 40+ years of trying to fit in with men and learning how to act that way. And now trying to unlearn all those things I did to fit in. Wouldn't have had the confusion that people labeled me gay because of feminine mannerisms and the confusion that came with it.
I know I would be a different person, but I think it would have made life make a lot more sense.
Oh well, back to what I am.

Hugs.



Ella
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awilliams1701

When I first came out to myself, I would have taken the opportunity if it was possible. Truth is though its a big part of who I am and it has opened my eyes in a way I would have never thought possible. I wouldn't trade that for anything. I would still take a magic wand surgery, but a cis body? no that would be lying just as much as I had been.
Ashley
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Erica_Y

I would definitely of preferred to be born CIS female as I am sure my life still would have been filled with much opportunity for growth. The only caveat is that my two kids would still have found their way into my life. If not then I would stay as I am today.

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fairview

My preference would have been born withough the conflict, be it cis male or female. Without the conflict between internal/external genders the question becomes mute. Just my opinion.
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emyrinth

I've always thought that the "cursed" girdle of gender change from DnD was such a wonderful thing. *POOF* you're a girl with all the right parts and a convenient explanation as to why everyone is just gonna have to get used to it. "No Mom I can't go back to being a boy without a ring of wishes or a genie and that would be ridiculously dangerous... NO Mom I'm not going into a dragons lair just so you can have your son back. Seriously guys you're not quest givers... No you may not bother Elminster in his tower... the last person ended up as a cheese pie..."
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herekitten

Without any doubt or hesitation - the answer is YES. How many of us have often wondered how different our life path would have been or maybe not at all.  One thing is certain for me and that is that I would have birthed, raised and sent on to college two wonderful children of my own bloodline. Grant it, life did not shortchange me in the children department by adoption, but some innate yearning of wanting a baby of my own body still persists like an echo in my mind and especially so when around babies.

Also, the freedom of clothes, doctors, dna tests, sex, you name it -- those hiccups would not exist. But would I be the same person if born cis?  Probably, but without the burden or sense of having to hold back. I would be unleashed! haha.
It is the lives we encounter that make life worth living. - Guy De Maupassant
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