My forum and chosen female name is Brenda.
I am still very much flying under the radar in male mode. Am very accepting of what my gender is, though it took a while to get here and understand myself. Grew up in the 70s am in mid fifties.
All my life i have had gender issue and didnt recognise it as such. Up until recently i found it much easier to accept my issues as perversion. Easier to think i was a pervert than trans. Was very much afraid of the world and to some extent still am, I find it to be very cruel. I could make this a very long story but i will make it brief. Several years ago my father died and i unwittingly found myself down this path of finding myself without having to longer seek my fathers approval.
  Started hormones about 4 years ago,low dose self med. I have lurked this forums for 7 years. I started gender therapy 2 years ago, and medical supervised hrt 1 year ago. Currently take spiro and estradiol ppatch, low dose. Before  started hrt i went to bed every night for many years and prayed i didnt wake up. Now i go to bed and dont care if i wake up. So a little improvement.

Hi Brenda,

Welcome to Susan's!

It's really nice to have you post here, finally.

Please go through the following links for some site info: (You might have come across them if you have lurked here long enough, but just in case...)

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Take care
Cindy

Btw, just like you, I am also under the radar and took a long time to come to terms with being trans*. I also had this uncaring attitude towards my own life, even as I went around trying to be an ideal husband, ideal son, and everything else for others around me.
Now that I have at least accepted myself, things are a little better. And I still care about the people in my life and hope that they can continue to love me as a person even if I change on the outside.

I am not from your generation, though, but there are many lovely ladies here who are.

Self-med is never a good idea. I am glad that you are finally getting the help you deserve.

Take care
Cindy

Hi Brenda 

Welcome to Susan's    Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M

welcome! i think you will find you are among friends

Welcome to Susan's, Brenda.

Welcome to Susan's Place.

Hi Brenda, welcome to Susan's. Your among friends now. I look forward to seeing you around the site. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

Hi Brenda, Welcome to Susan's...

Well you are not lurking anymore know... glad you signed up, we are a family with very similar backgrounds, experiences and desires....

Hmmm, me too still under the Radar... will change very soon, with very unknown results, But planning for all outcomes, you have too right... I've been on HRT for ~12 years, slowly, slowly but knew I needed to be as ready as I possibly can for this year... although still things to do...

And as Cindy has said, always put others before me all my life.

Anyway, look forward to seeing you around the forums

L Katy