Too caught up in living life to the fullest now to worry about it. I am me and I am happy. I am just glad I got here!!

What if I could fly?
What if I could walk on water?
What if I could predict the future?
What if I had green eyes?

Seriously, I don't play the "what if" game.  It never ends well.  All I can do is play the hand I was dealt the best I can play it and hope for the best. 

So far, so good.

I'd say yes, although I haven't yet seen where this thing will take me. Obviously it would have been a hella lot easier than it is now. But then again, nobody knows how things would have turned out. Things could have turned out better, or worse. No matter how bad things are they can always get worse (or better for that matter).

If I actually had the choice to magically (?) be a real girl I would probably do it but I would be a lesbian anyway (technically I'm a lesbian now, if I consider myself a girl).

When you talk to people who believe in reincarnation, it usually turns out that they believe that in their past lives they were Indian Princesses, Medieval Knights, or what-have-you: something fun and romantic. They tend to forget that the odds are very high that they would have been starving tribespeople, workers in coal mines, plague victims, babies who died in infancy, etc.  There aren't nearly enough princesses to go around.

My feelings about this are pretty much the same. I wouldn't choose to have been born male to my actual parents; I have only to look at my brother's life to know that wouldn't have been an improvement. If the choice is just to have been born male, with everything else about my life up for grabs -- no way would I want to change. There are around 7.5 billion people alive today, and the vast majority of them lead unfathomably miserable lives: according to a 2013 U.N. study, 2.5 billion people lack access to basic sanitation, i.e. toilets and clean water. These same people tend to go hungry a lot of the time.

So if choosing to have been born male means getting thrown back into the gene pool and taking my chances, the odds I'd have lived a better life than the one I've had, unhappy as it's mostly been, are very small indeed.

I'll take what I've got, thanks -- it could have been a lot worse.

We're both lesbians. not just technically but actually.

Its interesting because I was never lesbophobic, but I was homophobic before I met a gay guy and realized my fears were unwarranted. I've never seen anything wrong with being a lesbian. Yet saying I'm a lesbian was actually harder than saying I'm trans. Its the strangest thing. It took a while to get used to being a lesbian. I've also come to terms that my limited experience as a straight guy isn't going to transfer over to dating lesbians. Its going to be different. I'm just not sure how different.

Quote from: kelly_1979 on May 19, 2015, 02:23:05 PM
I'd say yes, although I haven't yet seen where this thing will take me. Obviously it would have been a hella lot easier than it is now. But then again, nobody knows how things would have turned out. Things could have turned out better, or worse. No matter how bad things are they can always get worse (or better for that matter).

If I actually had the choice to magically (?) be a real girl I would probably do it but I would be a lesbian anyway (technically I'm a lesbian now, if I consider myself a girl).

Rarely, once in a while, I wish I had been born cis, but who would that person be? It wouldn't be me, however good or bad that person might have turned out.

For better or worse, I am the sum of my experiences. They define my past, but not my future. I can still make my future into whatever I wish it to be.

So I can't imagine really what it would have meant to have been born cis. That's not me. It's someone else. And realizing that, I'm content with where my transition has gone and is going.

It used to be being cis was all I ever wanted. For a bit in my teens I was even willing to accept being male, so long as mind and body were finally in tune with one another. Accepting that that will never be was one of the major steps toward self acceptance. I have fought too hard to work to love myself to wish I could turn back time and wish it were different.

Plus, I really like who I am. I love the experiences I have had that make me who I am. I also love the friends I have that I may never have met. I love this process of transition too. I may never get to experience things cis women get to but they can't know the things that are unique to the trans woman's life experience.

Who knows who I could have been. My Mom didn't want me to be a girl because my Pop's family would have pushed the whole girly girl thing. With things as they are I get to come out and start being an assertive feminist tomboy. I can more readily flaunt my refusal to conform to gender norms. There is no normal that I am expected to be.

Sure coulda been is fun to think about but it is better to focus on who you are.

Quote from: Tysilio on May 19, 2015, 02:49:59 PM

They tend to forget that the odds are very high that they would have been.... workers in coal mine.....

Crud, that's my problem. I've been reincarnated. No wait a minute, I worked in the mines during this lifetime.

Sorry,  couldn't resist. My bad.  I was hoping that part of my life was a nightmare but it wasn't.

Oh definitely. As glad as I am to be a part of such an amazing community, I'm sorry but I'd choose being cis any day.

I would. Even though I haven't even begun transitioning yet, I already feel sad that I missed out on so much. I wish I could have experienced everything cis girls go through. Besides, now I'll never be able to have my own children (frozen 'samples' the exception).

But, the most important question... would I still be the same person? If not, then no. Despite the dysphoria I've battled, I actually like who I am for the most part.

In a word 'No'.  Once upon a time I would have said, 'Yes make me a cis-woman right now!'  But that would have been a mistake as much as beng cis-male was for me.  I was born intersex and I embrace that despite everything I went through as a child.  I don't see myself as gender fluid or gender queer, I see myself as being fully 'third' never mind what I have in my knickers along with all the scars.  So no thank you I'm perfectly happy as I am.

I'm glad that i'm able to transition and that everything is going well but given the chance I would choose Cis female any day of the week.

Looking through my life I really don't feel that my life would have been very different other than the obvious.

Cis for sure.

SciFi digression:

Except as others have pointed out, would I still be me? This is like one of those time travel paradoxes where someone goes back and alters events and now you are a completely different person, but you don't know it. Eww.

So I want to have been cis, and have all the memories of how *wonderful* everything went for me as a girl, but also keep all my current memories, too. So I'm still me, but I had more fun.

I would definitely have chosen to be a cis female. I was just telling my therapist today how hard it is for me to become a woman. What I meant is that with all the hair removal, learning how to walk, talk, do makeup, and all the other things that go with transition it is tough for me being the female I desire to be. But, it is all worth it to me! I guess it just goes to show me that I am definitely transgender and want to proceed with my transition.

One thing that I also would like to say is that I consider it a blessing to have been myself. I like how I think and the values I hold near and dear. Had I been born a cis female I might have been a bad apple so I guess things work out for the best.

KellyTG

I have to vote yes to being born cis female as well. Don't get me wrong though, I am proud to be trans and who I am today.

I'd be cis in a heartbeat. I know I'm a better and more compassionate person because of my trans experiences, but I'd rather be narrowminded and sheltered and healthy than damaged and understanding.

Even just being completely without the fear of getting raped or murdered over my genitals would make me an astronomically better parent. Sometimes I'm nervous and my daughter asks me what's wrong and I have to bite my tongue rather than describe the horrors that happen to some people.

You dont have to ask me twice! As much I can change my body into a woman's body, there are somethings that i will not ever be able to do; Like what, you ask: The most important, get pregnant and give birth. Yeah, I think that a lot. I know that not everyone want to have kids. I myself have one seven years old and a baby incoming. But, no matter what i do, i will neve be able to carry a child. To me, thats alone answers the question.

Quote from: Tysilio on May 19, 2015, 02:49:59 PM
When you talk to people who believe in reincarnation, it usually turns out that they believe that in their past lives they were Indian Princesses, Medieval Knights, or what-have-you: something fun and romantic.

Then you're most likely talking to a loon and not actually someone who believes in reincarnation.

But anyway. I've thought about this a lot and my mind always changes. Being transgender has made me learn a lot about myself and has opened my eyes to how backwards a lot of things in society are so it's a valuable learning experience and may have even bettered me as a person. I've had a lot of great experiences I would've never had if I'd been born a cis male but I've also missed out on a lot of great experiences because I wasn't. I figure there's no use dwelling on what could have happened though so I look for the positive things that come along with being trans and just play the hand I was dealt.

Quote from: Abby Claire on May 19, 2015, 07:36:40 AM
Let's see, I would have an easier time finding work, I wouldn't constantly feel the anxiety of hiding who I am in public, clothes would (possibly) fit more naturally (instead of a tiny waist and broad shoulders making it difficult), relationships would be more straightforward for whoever I was involved with, I wouldn't have to worry about medical bills as much, I wouldn't need to worry about public restrooms or be as concerned with my safety in public, and I could have children.

Of course I would rather be cis. As much as I appreciate the support I've received, I don't care to be the trans friend in a group of girls and I don't care for the droves of old friends who have come to support me. I didn't transition because I wanted the attention, I did it because I hated my body.

And frankly, I don't get how any transwoman can answer this and say they'd rather be trans. The question never has any qualifiers like "Cis, but ugly" or "Cis, but a completely different person", it just asks if you'd rather be cis. So if everything remains the same except that ONE difference, why wouldn't you want to be cis?

My point is that despite all the issues I've encountered with being trans, taking the blue pill to be cis wouldn't make my life better. Just different. Maybe a better question is, would I rather be a transman instead of being a transwoman? Still no for me. I was born female and enjoy being a woman, although my body has needed some help catching up to my actual gender.
I also wish I were perfect and had a flat stomach, but that's a different thing altogether.
And y'all know that there are cis women that can't get pregnant and/or die in childbirth still. Cis doesn't necessarily mean ability to procreate in your chosen gender. Nitpicking, I know, but it seems prevalent.

     Hugs,
- Katie
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Quote from: suzifrommd on May 19, 2015, 08:04:18 AM
If I were cis, no one would ever accuse me of hurting my family or disobeying God's laws by being my gender.

It'd just be for not being manly enough or too girly or not girly enough or gay or a racial minority or a differing religion. There are ample ways people choose to discriminate with others. Being cis doesn't get rid of hate or ensure your safety from bigots.


     Hugs,
- Katie
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