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If your not atracted to the opposite gender how do you feel being checked out

Started by stephaniec, May 22, 2015, 02:11:32 PM

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Skeptoid

I don't think I've been hit on in real life yet but online I get a crap load of attention on okcupid and the like. The attention makes me feel better about my looks. I got catcalled one time if that counts.
"What do you think science is? There's nothing magical about science. It is simply a systematic way for carefully and thoroughly observing nature and using consistent logic to evaluate results. Which part of that exactly do you disagree with? Do you disagree with being thorough? Using careful observation? Being systematic? Or using consistent logic?" --Dr. Steven Novella
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Stevie

  I didn't transition to be objectified by the same people that harassed, abused and molested me in my youth. 
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MyKa

Definitely not attracted to males, although they can look all they want tells me I'm doing something right. I learned the hard way though about dressing certain ways in public can bring on the attention I was not ready for, happened with with an older man at a gas station. What got his attention was all my tattoos.
Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today.....J.Dean
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Wild Flower

Im not getting checked out much these days....

But generally.... I welcome it.
"Anyone who believes what a cat tells him deserves all he gets."
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awilliams1701

I'm looking forward to it honestly. However I'm not interested. I just think it would be a cool feeling to be desired. I haven't felt desired in over 10 years.
Ashley
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Marly

Honestly, the only time I've ever been hit on was by a drunk girl in a bar. I don't know if it'll happen as Marly. But it really never did as Brian. So if it does, I will probably be super-flattered even if it's coming from a guy (not into guys BTW) But  if it becomes too frequent, I will probably grow weary as the feelings of validation wear out. Of course, I'm so self-conscious, I always feel like I'm being "checked out" to some degree or another. That's one of the issues I'm working on with my therapist.
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amber roskamp

It's ok. I'm still not very confident about my presentation so I'm never 100% sure that they are checking me out or if they are staring at me for being trans. I'm bi though so yea. I wish I would catch more girls checking me out :-(
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cindy16

I'm exclusively lesbian, and I used to say I was pre-everything, but in the last few months I've had a couple of laser sessions, hair has grown long enough, and I've started wearing women's jeans and leggings in public. Face and overall presentation is still male though.

Despite that, I can see that I am getting more looks than usual, mostly because from a distance or from behind, people may get confused. They look away as soon as I look back at them, though. Not sure if that counts as being checked out, but I guess I'll be creeped out if it happens with me.
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CassieG

I came out to my best friend last night. We've been best friends for 30 years. It was emotional. I showed him pictures of me dressed to which he replied that if he met me in a bar he would really want to "do me" - aside from the fact that we're both happily married with children!!!!!!!! Oh how we laughed. However, I was incredibly flattered. It made me feel delighted to have that validation. He did ask the question - what am I going to do if I do get hit on - to which I didn't have an answer. Don't you just thank whomever & say, in as kind and sensitive way as possible, that your spoken for?
Looking forward to the next surprise!x
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kittenpower

I agree, no reason to be mean, unless they are harassing you (e.g. staring at you as there is a big difference between a flirtatious glance and staring; cat calls, following you, won't take no for an answer, etc.).
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stephaniec

I got hit on by a drunk one night sitting in front of a restaurant . I had to threaten to call the police to get him moving along.
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kittenpower

That is harassment; when you encounter people like that it is best not to give them the time of day; that's not being rude, it's being street smart. I would have gone into the restaurant and complained.
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stephaniec

Quote from: kittenpower on May 23, 2015, 02:47:25 PM
That is harassment; when you encounter people like that it is best not to give them the time of day; that's not being rude, it's being street smart. I would have gone into the restaurant and complained.
well. I wasn't at the restaurant  I was sitting on a city bench in front of it and he was just a nut case drunk partying by himself on a Saturday night at 12 in the morning. the restaurant really had nothing to do with it . It was just a random act of stupidity by a guy who probably couldn't find anyone that would talk to him so he just kept drinking until they kicked him out of the bar.
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Kimberley Beauregard

I wouldn't mind, as long as it's not creepy or I feel like I'm getting harassed.  Checking out and being creepy aren't the same thing.  Sexual attraction and sexual objectification are two entirely different things; having desires is not the same as not treating women like people.

Also:

Quote from: antonia on May 22, 2015, 11:50:12 PM
Guy's are just guys, they are supercharged with testosterone to ogle everything that moves and has a butt or breasts, can't really hold it against them...

Yeah, this.
- Kim
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Laura_7

Quote from: amber roskamp on May 23, 2015, 12:48:36 PM
It's ok. I'm still not very confident about my presentation so I'm never 100% sure that they are checking me out or if they are staring at me for being trans. I'm bi though so yea. I wish I would catch more girls checking me out :-(
Well have you considered rainbow accessoires (assuming you're out ? ) ?

And eye contact might help :)
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Christine Eryn

I'm not really attractd to males, but I like to dress to show off my body. Just the other day, I was in a building waiting for an elevator when these 2 worker guys come through the doors. They didn't realize it but I caught their reflection of them staring at my ass! I was pleasantly surprised as I didn't know I "had that power". Of course, I automatically look at a pleasant women's ass myself, so I could tell what they were doing. Shortly after that, what could considered to be a good looking guy was subtly hitting on me in a restaraunt line, although I didn't catch it until afterwards.
"There was a sculptor, and he found this stone, a special stone. He dragged it home and he worked on it for months, until he finally finished. When he was ready he showed it to his friends and they said he had created a great statue. And the sculptor said he hadn't created anything, the statue was always there, he just cleared away the small peices." Rambo III
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stephaniec

yea, those are fun moments.  A long time ago I was out trying out a new dress and was in a grocery store and out of the corner of my eye I caught a stocker stocking the bottom shelf looking at my legs. A lot of fun.
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sparrow

I'd call myself pansexual, but attractive men are very very rare in my book.

My pysical transition so far consists of "I shaved" and "I've got a cute haircut", so I read 100% as a man even dressed 100% femme, with makeup and a pushup bra.  So when guys check me out, they start at the legs... and oh boy, do I love the look of horror they get when they finally see my face!  Glad I'm married... it lets me have a good sense of humor about that.  I just hope that I've triggered a questioning status or two by now.
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rachel89

I'm bi, and I I've noticed more gay men totally checking me out, and sometimes hitting on me when I'm in "man drag". The good thing is that I am more feminine than I used to be, but ideally, I would rather have straight or bi men checking me out and the gay men mostly ignoring me. when I do present feminine, I only get the ->-bleeped-<-s right now, and some of them are a little creepy, like I would feel very uncomfortable getting into a car with them creepy. I might be just a little paranoid, but I think I am starting to develop a "creep-dar"


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stephaniec

sadly , but realistically   there are a lot of creeps out there.
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