I have had that question posed to me by preschool children before and again last night when out shopping.  Kids are notoriously curious, open and out spoken and I consider it a reasonable question that mostly amuses me.  I have replied with, "I used to be more like a boy and now I am more of a girl."  One little girl, whose family I know, was not satisfied with that and had more questions that I would not be comfortable answering and then started a repetitious chant of "you're a boy, you're a boy.."  This was in a public place and, in my experience, kids have more energy and tenacity at a game that we won't win.  They also can be expected to get loud and we may not respond in kind.  I just smiled and talked to her mom.

Beyond simple answers, we may risk offending parents and creating a scene where nobody feels good.   I like to think there are creative ways to open the education door a bit without inciting offense. 

Got any one or two line responses that have worked for you?

I tell them I'm a girl... the same way I tell everyone.

I agree the flat out I'm a girl way is to go and it's what I do. Hugs
Mariah

"What do you think I am?" is one way I've gotten around that question.

Quote from: Nikita Alexa-Lee on May 24, 2015, 02:16:30 PM
I tell them I'm a girl... the same way I tell everyone.

Succinct and true

Quote from: Mariah2014 on May 24, 2015, 02:25:57 PM
I agree the flat out I'm a girl way is to go and it's what I do. Hugs
Mariah

Again, true but their questions suggests they see me as a different sort of girl and i truly am.  I want to reward their curiosity with a tiny bit of diversity awareness

Quote from: fennec-fox on May 24, 2015, 02:37:01 PM
"What do you think I am?" is one way I've gotten around that question.

Seems a nice way to engage them

I'm a woman.

As an aside I've been asked this exactly once and that was by a friend's kid and I'm 99% sure they told her beforehand.

I don't respond. It's not my job to educate someone else's kids.

Never had that happen.

I'd try to get a feel for where the parents are. I'll let them answer if they can and want to. I wouldn't say anything unless I had a close relationship with the parent, or it was clear that the parent wanted me to answer.

"I used to be a man. Now I'm a woman," is probably the most honest answer I can think to give.

Haven't had it happen to me but I think I'd just say "I'm a girl", trying to explain variations to a young child in a public place is just going to trip you up.

Truly there can be some jeopardy in responding to children at all but I like the idea of opening minds and helping people understand how much lovely diversity is all around them.  I wish there had been role models out in public when I was a kid. 

Quote from: Tessa James on May 24, 2015, 02:12:22 PM
... then started a repetitious chant of "you're a boy, you're a boy.."

That's bullying.  At that point, I guess I'd try to calmly tell the child that they were hurting me, and ask them to stop.  What did the mom do?

Quote from: sparrow on May 24, 2015, 06:24:55 PM
That's bullying.  At that point, I guess I'd try to calmly tell the child that they were hurting me, and ask them to stop.  What did the mom do?

Yes I suppose so.  I have been around lots of kids and raised a couple so I considered it more typical of her age and amusing.  Her mother is a friend and tried to point out that I had on a skirt too but that didn't dissuade her.  I like your idea though and owning the emotional response rings with honesty even if it might also make me even more vulnerable to a 3 yo tirade.  Thank you for that thoughtful response.

Quote from: Tessa James on May 24, 2015, 05:31:00 PM
Truly there can be some jeopardy in responding to children at all but I like the idea of opening minds and helping people understand how much lovely diversity is all around them.  I wish there had been role models out in public when I was a kid.

While this is true, trying to get many young children to grasp the complexities of the issue around your gender in a simple sentence is likely to make them more confused. I remember as a five year old I took everything said to me very literally - what I understood about how my mother was pregnant with my brother when she tried to very matter of factly tried to explain it to me doesn't bear repeating. While kids do need to learn about things the truth as told to them can just confuse them more.

Some friends of mine decided to tell their five year old son about me, he was a huge Doctor Who fan and his personal interpretation from that explanation was that I "had regenerated". You should have seen the look of sheer awe in that kid's eyes when he met me... funny, yet he'll probably now spend the next few years believing regeneration is real because of that.

I haven't been asked but I have gotten some very intense stares from little kids, some dropped jaws and a double take or two. It mostly makes me laugh!

I haven't actually done it, but if a little kid were to ask me "Are you a boy or a girl?" I would be tempted to say "Yes."

<runs>

Quote from: Tysilio on May 24, 2015, 09:40:21 PM
I haven't actually done it, but if a little kid were to ask me "Are you a boy or a girl?" I would be tempted to say "Yes."

<runs>

Lol I have been so tempted to say that before.



I had a one girl at my job that asked me that.  I asked her what did she think I was, and she just asked again.  Needless to say, after I was done interacting with that child, the grandmother walked away saying "I don't think she likes you."  and she was exactly right....lol.  This is partly why I hate working with young kids.  I try my best to duck kids when I can, but if asked, I just say girl.

Since I don't really pass, I usually don't answer to that question for two reasons:

• I can't say I'm a girl
• If I say I'm a boy, the grown ups will look at me weird since, as I said before, don't pass.

Quote from: ftmax on May 24, 2015, 04:17:22 PM
I don't respond. It's not my job to educate someone else's kids.

This comment feels like home.

One time, I was at a friend's and her niece came in. She asked if I was a boy or a girl and my friend said a girl (I hadn't even came to terms with myself yet but I looked very masculine). No matter how many times she told the little girl, she was SO CONVINCED I was a boy... and she was right!
Little kids are so quickly to judge, or at least that how it feels. It's not their fault but they expect everything and everyone to be so "binarized" (I just made that word up). I'd rather walk through a crowd of grown ups in the mall than to walk down the halls at my nephew and niece's elementary school. The stares from little kids are so HARD and not even subtle... they don't judge you as grown ups, though. I think what they're trying to do, mostly, is to just figure you out, like you're a piece from a puzzle different than the one they're trying to build.

I am 5 foot 14 and they are pretty intimated by me so they don't ask directly. They have picked me out of the crowd and ask mommy while telling half the store. If one had the nerve to ask me I think I would put on my best smile and tell them that I am a friend. The sad part of it is I like children but in the 35 years I have been a woman, not even my nephew or niece have approached me.

I usually just smile and continue on my way. I mean the innocence of children allows them to say what is on their mind, while developed adults will not usually. So take it as a compliment that they have to think about it. It means you are on the right path

Quote from: Tysilio on May 24, 2015, 09:40:21 PM
I haven't actually done it, but if a little kid were to ask me "Are you a boy or a girl?" I would be tempted to say "Yes."

<runs>

Love this response!