Fight ignorance, rudeness & stupidity with wit I say!!

Them: Have you had the operation?
Me: Yes, I had my appendix removed when I was six.

What witty comebacks might you have for dumb questions (real or imaginary)?

"Get your tits out" Chav
Get your's out,they're bigger than mine you fat bastard" Me

Did you used to be a guy - anyone
No, just looked like one - me

Katy....

"Well, I think I'm a horse, so I must be one then...."

Me: "Well you are acting like a jacka*s so...."

Quote from: King Malachite on April 27, 2015, 06:46:04 AM
"Well, I think I'm a horse, so I must be one then...."

Me: "Well you are acting like a jacka*s so...."

or... "well, half of one, anyway."

Not really a stupid question ... but when people leer, I ask if they want an autographed 8by10

I like where you're going with this

(nothing witty to add for now)

Them: "So, are you gay?"
Me: "I'm married to a woman, so I am in a homosexual relationship.  That's pretty gay, right?"

Comment I once made to try and get rid of a guy that wouldn't get the hint..

"There's 2 pairs of balls at this table and that's one more than I like."

It didn't work.

One I sort of regret.

In my early days of transition, an obese woman and man seeing me in Ikea. As they were  walking towards me.

"Oh that's a man"

Me confronting them.

"I was born with a defect that is being corrected, you are fat and ugly what is your excuse?"

Ye I do regret it; but it felt good at the time.

Quote from: sparrow on May 09, 2015, 01:21:30 AM
Them: "So, are you gay?"
Me: "I'm married to a woman, so I am in a homosexual relationship.  That's pretty gay, right?"

I'm pretty pre-transition still so I answer the gay question with "not yet". 

As soon as I get my license changed in my state, I'll be in a lesbian marriage!

This is one I wish I'd used the other day when asked at the gym...

Gym: Do you have documentation of surgery...?
Me: Appendectomy, Tonsillectomy, Boob Job? Please be specific...

Here's a good one I saw on cracked.com.  The original comment was this:

"I don't see why women should be forced to share the toilets with men just because a small community of freaks demand it."

And response:

"Actually, I think you're right. I also don't see why women should be forced to share the toilets with transmen just because a small community of freaks (i.e. transphobes) demand it."

Offline and in person, I'm just not quick or very good with my words.

Just happened last week ... some asked "Why did you get rid of all your of all your body hair?"   I replied "I wanted to go from Harry (hairy) to Mary "......

"you don't look disabled."

ME:

"neither do you."

guy: Are those things real?

me: Well if not, they're one heck of an illusion, don't you think?

OK, I can't resist pointing out that my pre-teen sense of humor was permanently warped by Mad Magazine's "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions" - click here for some classic examples...

I've got a handbag full of comebacks, i'll let you decide if they're witty or not

Whilst leaving a supermarket someone cried out "you've got tits!!", I grabbed them in shock & exclaimed "There must have been a mix up at the checkout, i'll have a word with management"

"I wouldn't shag that" exclaims one ignorant man
"I know you wouldn't, i've got standards you know!"

"Have you had the op?"
"Have you? You really should sue them"

When one man spat in my face I calmly replied "For future reference I charge a one drink minimum before exchanging bodily fluids, unfortunately for you that one drink would be a keg of vodka"

thanks for the link, eveline.

"Have you had The Surgery yet?"

"I don't normally talk about my genitalia to strangers."



"Don't you want to go to Heaven?"

"Well that would be between myself and god, wouldn't it?"

(That shut her up...but the next time I saw her she started in on the god stuff again, and I said, "I don't think you can speak for god" and she replied "OH YES I CAN!")

*sigh*