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( Trigger Warning)How many family and friends have you lost because your trans

Started by stephaniec, May 29, 2015, 09:14:49 PM

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0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

How many friends and family members have you lost because your trans

0
6 (20.7%)
1-2
10 (34.5%)
2-3
3 (10.3%)
3-4
2 (6.9%)
4-5
0 (0%)
6-7
1 (3.4%)
7-8
0 (0%)
8-9
0 (0%)
> 10
7 (24.1%)

Total Members Voted: 29

stephaniec

I've lost one , a niece that is in direct relation to me being transgender all others are not directly due to being transgender , but may have been a consequence of related issues I've gone through in my life and some were totally unrelated as far as I know, but might have a small link along with other issues.
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Elijah3291

Ive lost my grandma, grandpa, and aunt on my dads side.  It could be much worse. I remember I called my grandma to came out to her, (5 years ago?) and she said that "I know all about that (transgender people) I know more about it then you do" and she said we would talk again later. She never called me again.  Ive had to see her twice at weddings and it was really awkward, especially because my mother and myself called her out on how awful she was for just not even bothering to get to know the real me.  At the weddings she didn't talk to me or look at me. I lost my grandpa and aunt by association, I never knew my aunt very much so that didn't matter, but I do miss my grandpa, although at the weddings he talked to me briefly.

It does sting a lot to know that my grandma still talks to my brothers and dad, she pretty much acts like I don't even exist anymore she probably just thinks that I "killed her granddaughter", and my brothers and dad don't seem to care or want to call her out on it. My mom says its her loss.

I don't wish to seek out a relationship with her, and it really just makes her look simple and petty, and I hope she regrets it when she dies. And if she ever wants to be forgiven last minute, she will be treated the same way she treated me.


edit* sorry just realized this was in the MTF side
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stephaniec

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Laura_Squirrel

I haven't really lost any family members. But, my relationship with my father hasn't been the best since I transitioned. But, then again, it was never perfect anyway due to his whole "Jekyll & Hyde" syndrome from him being a drunk.

I lost the two friends that I had. But, oh well. The hell with the both of them. They were just a couple of fake losers anyway. They always talked up the "friends to the end" rubbish. But, when I needed them the most, they dropped me like a hot potato.
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Tiffanie

I don't know how to answer this.

I have one brother and one sister who treat me like I'm a worthless un-human ... but they treated me like that most of the time anyway.  Now they have a reason to focus their dislike of me and tell me everything is my fault.

People at my work (some who have known me for 25 years) are very supportive and treat me better than they did before, but a couple coworkers don't like that I'm transitioning.

I haven't lost any close friends, in fact, many of my school friends have become facebook friends since I came out.  They like my courage for being myself.  My ex manager who was very much like a friend and knew I was transgender started treating me like ->-bleeped-<- when I went full time, but she was also going through depression and anxiety issues at that time.

stephaniec

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AndrewB

I lost my paternal grandfather. I wrote him a separate letter alongside my 'Thank You' card for the Christmas money he'd sent me; I never heard from him after that. My mom, about a month ago, called him asking if he was going to be attending my graduation/needing a ticket for the ceremony, and he started going off on her about what terrible parents she and my dad were for supporting me, how I was just trying to get attention, and was just imitating Bruce Jenner (because I totally didn't come out before that whole situation came to light or anything...sigh).

Luckily my mom didn't have any of it, told him he was a horrible person (esp. to my father, when he was a kid), offered him some choice profanities and hung up. He tried to send a letter to our house a while back and my mom didn't even open it, just tossed it in the trash. We're all in agreement in this household that he's as good as dead, since his love has clearly been conditional to myself and my father our whole lives. Good riddance, as far as I'm concerned; all my other family's been nothing but beautifully supportive, and they're who I should really be spending time with, anyway.
Andrew | 21 | FTM | US | He/Him/His








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Dee Marshall

Just as a bit of balance, so far I've lost no one, although a few of my relationships are a bit rocky at the moment. I still have to come out to my sister and her brood, Sweetie's brother and his family, and Sweetie's best friend. I've never been close to her, but we'll be seeing her in October and I want her prepared. Other than my sister, the others will be phone conversations.
April 22, 2015, the day of my first face to face pass in gender neutral clothes and no makeup. It may be months to the next one, but I'm good with that!

Being transgender is just a phase. It hardly ever starts before conception and always ends promptly at death.

They say the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. I say, climb aboard!
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Sabrina

I think I've lost my sister. She won't even talk about it to my face.
- Sabrina

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DrummerGirl

My parents came out to my extended family for me at a family reunion last night.  I guess everyone was really supportive and happy for me.  My mom actually didn't want me to be there in case things got ugly, but thankfully everything worked out.  So out of my entire family and closest friends, I haven't lost anyone.  I have a bunch of other friends from my past that I haven't told that are scattered around the country and are all married and have kids.  I haven't talked to any of them in over a year and they all have their own lives now, so at this point I'm not even sure I'll bother coming out to them.

It really kills me hearing about the people all of you have lost.  I'm just so sorry that happened.  Maybe in the future, as society becomes more educated, hearts will soften and some of these relationships can be repaired.



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stephaniec

I was actually a little surprised that my niece stopped talking to me We communicated over the internet for 2 years , but it seemed she didn't want to get closer. About 5 months ago having been on hormones for 14 months I thought that I would take the chance to tell her because there is no way I'm turning back and I didn't want to hide from anyone any more. I told her in an email when I deleted my older Facebook account and started using my other account that has my real picture on it. I wanted her to have my new account. I haven't heard from her since. She was the one you sought me out in the first place. I guess a transgender uncle wasn't of interest to her or aunt.
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Sydney_NYC

Most of my family and friends have been extremely supportive. The only ones I've lost is my father whom my mother divorced when I was 12 and his current (3rd) wife. My father and I grew apart from age 15 on when I moved to NJ from NC with my mom. He wasn't there for me when I did need him and we grew further apart. Prior to transitioning we built back up a relationship where I spoke to him 3-4 times a month and saw him every few years, but when I came out, he basically told me that even though he knows I was born this way that I should go back into the closet for another 43 years. He claims he still loves me (through his step-daughter that I'm friends with) and he doesn't no how to deal with it, but he ignores my letters, phone calls and blocked me on Facebook. So at this point I see him as a lose, but you never know, he could one day accept it, but I'm not holding my breath.
Sydney





Born - 1970
Came Out To Self/Wife - Sept-21-2013
Started therapy - Oct-15-2013
Laser and Electrolysis - Oct-24-2013
HRT - Dec-12-2013
Full time - Mar-15-2014
Name change  - June-23-2014
GCS - Nov-2-2017 (Dr Rachel Bluebond-Langner)


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kayla 38

This is a very difficult topic for me. I used to work for the family business and when I decided to transition I was ganged up on by four brothers and sisters and their spouses plus my parents and convinced I need help with an Infasess of Christianity. So I was sent to a Christian nazi camp to learn how to be better Christian. All this worked fine for a year or so but I was just miserable, and decided to transition two years later after a nasty divorce from a spouse who was cheating while at nazi camp. As a result of transition my three children, four bothers and sisters and their spouses all g with their adult children and spouses along with my parents have told me I'm not welcome or wanted at their houses. I was eventually fired three times from the company and rehired a week later after then seeing I was not going to return to being male. This all has been five years ago, still no contact with my children or siblings. I do see my mother at times and that relationship is getting better and does ask about my husband. My srs and ffs is scheduled for sept. with Dr. Suporn. My motto nobody can make you happy, happiness comes from within.
Don't be a woman that needs a man, be a woman that a man needs.
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Mariah

One brother in-law. He may eventually come around yet, but he is having a hard time despite knowing before hand that this was coming. Everyone else is exactly as they were before. I'm not surprised by this at all. Hugs
Mariah
If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
I am also spouse of a transgender person.
Retired News Administrator
Retired (S) Global Moderator
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Ms Grace

I won't say I've lost anyone... not yet. Just when I think I've found my sister she slips out of my fingers again. I think I've misplaced my father though, he might be behind the lounge somewhere... might recover him one day. Never say never!!
Grace
----------------------------------------------
Transition 1.0 (Julie): HRT 1989-91
Self-denial: 1991-2013
Transition 2.0 (Grace): HRT June 24 2013
Full-time: March 24, 2014 :D
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stephaniec

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Zoetrope

When I came out I lost all of my family for the first year of transition.

I am talking with my parents now, but they have kept the whole thing secret from the rest of the family, and do not want me to contact them.

I will play along for now. Outside family I ended up with more friends and more support in general, so I am not alone by any stretch.
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Cindy

My parents could never accept me but they died during my transition. I wash I could meet them as their daughter, I think they would be proud of me now.

Two work colleagues refused to even look at me, interestingly their colleagues have completely accepted me and they are now the ones who have lost their friends and colleagues because of their bigotry. I got 'revenge' on one at a meeting where I sat opposite him while I was wearing a
Low cut blouse, I made sure to lean forward everynow and again, everyone noticed that he was fixated on my boobs! He was very embarrassed! I have an evil streak!

My wife's' sister had issues accepting me realised she was the only family member who did so she is civil to me, but I also told her that if she wasn't going to accept me she was barred from my home and all the family meet at my home for family events.

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Lady Smith

I ticked the over 10 box, - enough said really as it was years ago and I've moved on since then.
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suzifrommd

There was one friend who seemed very uncomfortable talking about my transition. It made talking with her awkward since it's hard to tell what's going on with me without mentioning some aspect of my transition. We're still friends, but not as close. So I guess my answer would be "a half".
Have you read my short story The Eve of Triumph?
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