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Started by Jaysinxdres, May 31, 2015, 07:03:04 PM

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Jaysinxdres

Hi everyone! I'm jaysin, and I've recently discovered more of myself and about my own gender identity. When I was younger I knew I was different but raised in a house with two brothers and being brought up in a small town in Minnesota famous for hockey, you tend to find ways to conceal your true self. I was born male and thus was told to act that way and be a man and all that machismo ->-bleeped-<-. I've always known I was bisexual but growing up I hid that part of me. Then hoping for that freedom of college and self realization where I could truly find myself, I wound up meeting a girl and started a family a lot earlier than anticipated. So I played the dad roll and the husband roll and didn't pay any of those thoughts that were hidden deep within any mind. But then divorce..... I kept my son and we moved on. While on my own I discovered a love for crossdressing. Being a woman made me feel right, but at the same time I still want to be a man some days and a woman others. So I went looking and did some research. I guess I'm somewhere in the bigender, gender fluid area. I'm still very new to this, and now I'm remarried to an amazing woman that supports me no matter what. She has started to help me buy clothes and forms and help make me look like I feel. But I guess I need other people in the same kind of situation to talk to. I'm still very confused, but I'm finding out more about myself everyday. It's become stressful and I'm having more anxiety as the need to present as a woman on days that I feel that way are more frequent. The worries about doing so are truly overwhelming at times. My son is 7, how do I explain that to him? How do I deal with it if his mother tries to get custody again? People at work? Family? Friends? I guess I just need a friend. Sorry for my ramblings! Jaysin
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Mariah

Hy Jaysin, welcome to Susan's. You should check out are non binary section. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

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If you have any questions, please feel free to ask me.
[email]mariahsusans.orgstaff@yahoo.com[/email]
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V M

Hi Jaysin  :icon_wave:

Welcome to Susan's  :)  Glad to have you here, join on in the fun

Hugs

V M
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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Rachel

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katrinaw

Hi Jaysin,

Welcome to Susan's

I too was born (first) in a family of 3 boys... was very hard to flourish as I should have, so I know where you are coming from.

Its really good now that you have a supportive partner in your life, that will certainly help as you continue your journey in finding your true Gender Identity.

Look forward to seeing you about the forums.

L Katy  :-*
Long term MTF in transition... HRT since ~ 2003...
Journey recommenced Sept 2015  :eusa_clap:... planning FT 2016  :eusa_pray:

Randomly changing 'Katy PIC's'

Live life, embrace life and love life xxx
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gennee

Hi Jaysin and welcome to Susan's.

:)
Be who you are.
Make a difference by being a difference.   :)

Blog: www.difecta.blogspot.com
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kittenpower

Hi Jaysin, welcome to the forum, there are lots of friendly, helpful, and knowledgeable people here. :)
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Devlyn

Hi Jaysin, welcome to Susan's Place! I'm from Boston. I fall in that Crossdresser/genderfluid/non-binary category. It's all good! See you around the site!

Hugs, Devlyn
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stephaniec

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Jaysinxdres

Thank you all for warm welcome to susans! I'm very happy to have found a place to be myself.
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Matthew

Welcome to Susan's Place, Jaysinxdres! :)
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KristinaM

Hey Jaysin, welcome aboard!  You'll find nothing but help and friendship here, at least that's all I've found so far.  :)  /hugs

I understand the whole getting married and starting a family thing causing you to bury your feelings.  It probably wasn't even a conscious effort was it, but then when you didn't have that pressure anymore, it all came back so easily didn't it?

It's a long journey ahead of you, so I wish you the best of luck.  I sometimes feel like I might be gender-fluid too, but that's probably only b/c I don't feel like getting all girly some mornings and just want to throw on pants, a shirt and shoes and stumble out the door in less than 15 minutes, hehe.
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