Hello everyone,
Kind of new at this and pretty nervous so hopefully what I write makes sense
I was born a male named David, but now I'm starting to identify as a 26 year old female and prefer to be called Raven. I'm really scared to come out to anyone right now. Mostly since the city I live in is not that big. And also transgender people aren't really accepted here.
Ever since I was younger I never really cared to hang out with boys at school. Never was into sports or running around getting scraped knees. So I usually gravitated towards playing the girls at school. I can even remember when I was five at a babysitters I was playing with a girls toy and got told to stop it. My father was very strict and religious so I was always afraid to explore my interest. The most I dared was to watch TLC, I know that seems funny. And a couple times I did got caught playing dolls with a relative and I don't care to say what happened. However that put me off for years.
When I was sixteen and my parents were on vacation I had the house to myself I did experiment wearing skirts, painting nails etc and really enjoyed it. Sadly that was cut short when my older sister decided to come over to spend the week with me. So I had to hide everything I did. Knowing that my father would have kicked me out of the house if I was lucky. So again I hid it from everyone around me for years. The only thing I could do safely was forum role playing games. So every time I'd always play a female and was always happy when I got called female pronouns.
Life got in the way with a job and my father became very ill, so I spent three years taking care of him before he died. After that my mom became ill also so I never had much time for anything else. However starting this year I started to feel kind of off, like I didn't feel right. I did not give it much thought but something kept nagging me. Then I started noticing something at my current job where I work with mostly males. I don't know how to put it just I wasn't feeling like one of them. And when they made a comment on a female. Rather then noticing her um assets I was more drawn to the hairstyle, clothing, nails etc then anything else. And wishing I could start looking like that.
I've kept noticing the same patterns day after day. And finally in the past couple of months I've decided that I'm a lot more comfortable thinking of myself as female. For the first time in a long time I feel comfortable with who I am.
Sorry that this post was so long. It just makes me feel so much better to finally get this out after years of it building up
