Hello everyone.
I am so done with living a lie everyday, my life is just wasting away.
I've known i was "different" since i was about 5 I just assumed i was gay for years.
I found out what transgender was around the age of 13 and i've wanted to come out ever since (I'm 18 now)
but when i think about coming out and think about the actual transition it's so overwhelming, i get really anxious and feel as if i could faint.  I have 3 brothers a sister dad and mom, My mom seems to be the only one that is okay with trans people. With Caitlyn Jenner being all over tv its helped me see how ignorant my family is.
I feel like i can do no more until i can be true to myself. How do i come out to my parents and family? thanks

Hi Z.C.G., Welcome to Susan's. There is no one or right way to come out as transgender. Your have to find a method that works for you. As you can see from many of our accounts on here it verys from person to person. Also, I it doesn't have to be the next step either, but considering you still live at home more likely than not and they are probably paying for everything I can see why you feel that way. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. good luck and Hugs
Mariah

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Hi Z.C G.There is no one way to do this, and we each choose a path. At your younger age, I would suggest that you discuss this with your mum whom you believe will be supportive and suggest that you see a gender therapist who can give you professional help and support that this is right for you and for your mental health. It may take a few sessions but this is the first step.

Then when your mum agrees that this is the right decision, I suggest that you then discuss  your approach to coming out to others, and ask for her suggestions. She will be your greatest ally.

Take your time there is no rush. Give others elbow room for others to think about this, it will be a shock to them and talk to them about it individually and personally.

You could have a look here and the link there for a few thoughts that might help you:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,189616.msg1687724.html#msg1687724

You might start with easy reversible steps, like changes to hair and clothing style.
and see how it makes you feel... I'd say go with a feeling of joy....

take the time you need but keep at it... this all is a process... try to have some fun along the way...

And you might have a look here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,180045.msg1658077.html#msg1658077

Well its up to you what you say since you know them best...
just take the time you need...
if you are dependent you might consider...

some people come out in a letter or via text, and show some materials like vids later...
some people drop some hints...

Its a process... take the time you need but keep at it...

many others have done this successfully, too...

and it can be fun to experiment with hair and clothing styles...
some people do some small things daily, like some womens accessoires... etc...


hugs

Welcome to Susans!

You might be surprised to know how many people find themselves in pretty much the exact same situation when they are contemplating coming out to their family. Of course there are always a lot of variables and the most important one is "will you be safe"? While some parents are awesome and try to do everything to support and accept their child they are sadly in a small minority. Others are confused or have misunderstandings about what trans gender actually means - they might think you are going through a phase or that you really don't know what you're talking about and are therefore not very supportive or encouraging. These seem to be the largest percentage. Other parents can be outright hostile to the notion you are trans for any number of reasons - they might become very angry. So where do you think your parents lie on this spectrum, what do you hope to gain from them by telling them (maybe getting to see a counsellor, exploring the possibility of transition, use of gender appropriate pronouns/clothing, etc). There is always a lot to consider when coming out as trans. All the best.

Welcome to Susan's Place. As the others have said, there is no one right way and you really have to decide that for yourself. You have us to rely on for help and should your family be willing to discuss the issue with us, I stand ready to help you with your parents. The general public knows so little about us and we are a very complex topic that education of the public should be part of my job. Good luck with what ever you decide and let me know if I can help.

As stated previously coming out really ultimately depends on your situation.

YOU understand the people you have been living with and what way they would best accept. The trick is not to go against the grain so to speak, but sometimes that's unavoidable.

The two methods I have seen from myself and a friend is I personally put it up on Facebook, said "deal with it" and accepted the consequences that came my way, which started a long line of events.

My friend did little by little, more feminine mannerisms, clothes, maybe just a little make up here and there. Open up gradually.

I guess in retrospect I was impatient lol.