Quote from: Joi on June 08, 2015, 05:06:40 PM
Early in life, a curse, I had no idea what made me feel the way that I did and could not nor would not discuss it with anyone.  Too much guilt shame & fear. During puberty totally confused.  In early adulthood through late middle age both. Now in my late 60's and in transition a blessing.  I can accept myself without masking my pain with drugs and alcohol.  I am finally free to be me and I can love myself without reservation.

ditto for me

I believe that, until recently, it was a curse. But only because I was relentlessly pushing a state of being in denial. my only tentative step prior led to, what became a very short marriage. This caused some "knee-jerk" reactions on my part, followed by a long period of even stronger denial. I fell blessed with ..at least what I'm told, is a pretty smile and somewhat passable face, yet also cursed since going full-time would also relegate me to being a wig and turban wearer.  But I do feel the blessing from within as I have finally let myself be "me" (wherever that leads)

I know for me for a long time it was definitely a cruse. I was ashamed by it and frustrated because it seemed to be an endless circle where nothing quenched the fire. I was a severe cross dress until I thought I had finally put it to rest only to have it return with a vengeance. HRT was my solution , but it took so long to get there. Now I'm finally at peace and doing good.

I have to second this. Even with passing almost everywhere, I can't seem to feel comfortable anywhere I go.
I'm happy being me but I feel trapped in my own space.

April

Quote from: iKate on June 08, 2015, 03:42:23 PM
A curse.

Many Cis men hate us. Many cis women hate us. Neither think we are real. You give up fertility and the ability to reproduce.

I would give anything for tech that would allow me to be cis. Anything .

Sometimes I just feel like it isn't worth it.

curse for sure... im not saying theres zero good in it at all but overall its a terrible thing to be...like any other birth defect theres a possibility for good to come from it but it is a very bad card to be dealt.I do see it as a medical condition to be treated but like many cant be fixed...that doesn't mean I never embrace it as making me special or unique cause in truth it does and there's nothing bad about us and we are special but its very much like someone with dwarfism...they are special and can be great people worthy of respect and a good life its just we both are dealt a very bad hand...theres no good that has come to me from being trans and I think its made me a worse person...maybe more sympathetic and empathetic but that's it

also its not even being trans in and of itself its what comes along with it in the vast majority of cases...im not saying it cant be good for anyone but for me it hasn't whether I stayed a boy or transition like I have its still constant grief

I will step out and say it has been a blessing.

My experience of life has been so broad. I have been all across the gender spectrum - and in turn, that means I can relate to people of all genders. I have seen and tried and done so many things ...

I've always been on a mission to know myself, so realising I am transsexual and doing something about it has been a logical progression. Transitioning has blasted the doors of discovery open.

No doubts, no regrets. This is my path :~)

Simply the fact that I am transgender is just me.  I cannot judge because that line of reality does not exist for mr to compare.  It is just me, nothing more or less.

Learning to accept myself and be honest and live as me and for me is a blessing.

Oh its a blessing for me. The old me was unkind cold withdrawn. Now the real me is so much different and nicer. I'm finally starting to find some peace in my life. I mean I'm having ups and downs, but it beats have downs for weeks in a row.

I put both highs and lows in being unique. It would be a blessing if people would accept us more.

Quote from: iKate on June 08, 2015, 03:42:23 PM
A curse.

Many Cis men hate us. Many cis women hate us. Neither think we are real. You give up fertility and the ability to reproduce.

I would give anything for tech that would allow me to be cis. Anything .

Sometimes I just feel like it isn't worth it.

Most importantly than what others think is that you have to accept and love yourself.

It's neither a blessing or a curse for me. It's simply a medical condition for which I've sought the treatment I needed. With the treatment done, I can simply get on with life.

Quote from: kelly_aus on June 09, 2015, 12:05:54 AM
It's neither a blessing or a curse for me. It's simply a medical condition for which I've sought the treatment I needed. With the treatment done, I can simply get on with life.

I like that answer because it's very straight forward and matter of fact.

Blessing and/or curse sound like someone did something to me. I don't see it that way. It was a accident of nature. I would prefer that it hadn't been so, but since it is here, all I can do is deal with it as anyone with a serious birth defect can.  Sadly, not enough medical coverage for such a defect.

Like everything in life situations can seem horrible or good. Yes being trans* was a terrible curse during my childhood and adolescents and indeed most of my adult life. But then I took the cure.

Now in my happiness what does being trans* mean?

I have friends, in daily life and on line. I have contact with the people here, who have not only helped me in my path but have enriched my life in ways I could not have dreamed off.

So in many ways I now enjoy and love my life because of the effect of being trans* and having accepted it.

Would I have preferred to be a cisfemale?

You can bet every dollar in the world I would have.

It just is.

I have no time or inclination to feel sorry for myself, there are many in the world who are in a far worse situation than mine, so I count all my other blessings instead.

Instead, I look at what it takes for me to be content.  For now, it's HRT only.  With that alone, I can get on with living and being trans is a side issue.

Would I have preferred not to have the issue at all?   Sure would, but wishing it wasn't so doesn't help.

I won't sugar coat it, it's a curse from hell that's cost me happiness and caused decades of emotional and physical pain and suffering. And I'm still not done without the FFS I need. The good thing is I am almost at a point where I'm at the top of the mountain with my transition though. I think I'll finally find the peace I've so desperately sought all these years.

I see the technology of surgery and HRT a blessing for sure, but not my condition.

Curse. It's never done anything but hurt me, both because of having to suffer as I watched a body that I liked mutate into a body that I still hate because it was poisoned by testosterone, as well as years and years of mental self-abuse due to constantly feeling like I was broken or delusional or a freak for feeling that way in the first place.

13 years straight of telling yourself that your gender identity was defective does REALLY bad things to a person. I still have a hard time making friends, it's still impossible to love my body because of it, and I still fight mental demons telling me I'm an imposter or an intruder every single time I try to enter women's spaces.

Maybe I wouldn't have been this way if society wasn't so messed up about trans issues back in the late-90s in terms of only using trans women as the punchline to jokes, and always making them into "haha look at the freak" sideshow attractions or pushing the "always knew from birth" narrative and the false notion that a "sex change" was the only part of transition (which excluded me because since hormones were never mentioned, I believed wrongly for 13 years that my body was broken beyond repair due to testosterone, and that getting a "sex-change" wouldn't mean any muscle reduction or hair reduction or anything, or having actual boobs or actual feminine body shapes, it would just be my unchanged gigantic male body but with tissueless fake boobs and a vainga added on to them.) Maybe if I had known the truth back then I could have turned out differently. But as it is, 13 years of mental self-abuse due to believing that I was broken beyond repair, and therefore the desire made me nothing but a freak, I've turned into en emotional self-doubting mess, and I've lost the ability to simply BE without some aspect of my gender causing me distress.

I wouldn't wish being trans on anyone. Almost every single one of my MtF trans friends have the same mental self-abusive demons. It is SO damned hard to override all those years of rejection and self-hatred and develop confidence when your entire young life was full of them, either at your own hands, or the hands of your rejecting parents, or at the hands of homophobic peers.

I'm sure once being trans is de-stigmatized, and once young trans kids don't have to grow up being constantly told that they're defective, this nonsense will stop. Until then, I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

a terrible, cruel and unimaginably painful curse. its worst than death because for some of us, we're forced to live a life of isolation

Sent from my VS985 4G using Tapatalk

Quote from: Jake25 on June 09, 2015, 12:03:55 AM

Most importantly than what others think is that you have to accept and love yourself.

That only goes so far, to be honest. When society reinforces the fact that you were born male and some feminists try to elegantly say you're not a real woman and offer up a compelling argument it hurts a lot.

People I respected, including my brothers in law enforcement have basically come out and said nasty things about Jenner how she's still a man because she has her original parts. The justification the guy used is that when you lock up a pre op transsexual, she goes in the male prison. He has a point. Society still treats us like men in many regards and I hate it. I never wanted to be a man. I just couldn't do anything about it until now.

Anyway forgive me I'm off my hormones and I feel like crap.