Hello all. I'm still pretty new here but I think I'm a Trans man. I was just reflecting on my life today and I remember countless instances of friends and family trying to make me dress more feminine despite the fact that Iv'e always been very insistent on dressing like a boy. I can't even count how many times I've had friends take me to the mall to get a makeover. Heck, I remember in 6th grade my school guidance counselor told my mom to take me shopping for girls clothes so less people would bully me. After a lifetime of this I eventually gave in as an adult and decided to dress in women's clothes even though I HATE it. Now that I've discovered who I am I'm going to start transitioning again. Has anybody else ever had someone try to change them and encourage them to dress as the gender they were assigned at birth? I'd love to hear your stories about this subject.

For me it was never about how I dressed, but motr how I acted.

My brother wanted me to fight like a guy.  My classmates wanted to play the boy games and I preferred the more girly games.  I even had teachers trying to coach me how in how to stand up for myself like a boy does.  I doubt any of them knew I was transgender, but if they remember me all my issues would make sense to them now.

Well, yeah.  My father and an older male cousin, mostly.  I remember when I was six or seven I figured out that dolls and girl toys were on the forbidden list, so my taste turned to G.I. Joe.  Well, my cousin caught me looking at all the G.I. Joes in the Sears Christmas catalog, and he said they were still dolls and dolls were for girls, and I couldn't get any for Christmas.  Dad agreed with him, unfortunately.

That is how I got into model railroading, and spent most of my teen years building miniature houses, factories and mines for my train sets.

Dad also taught me to play basketball, and to throw and catch a baseball.  My interests were golf and bicycling, and my parents refused to pay for golf clubs or lessons or a decent bicycle.     They did get me tennis lessons at one point.  Maybe if they had let me wear the skirt, that one would have worked out. 

I did win on one thing, though.  I was the only boy in the flute section -- which is as good an indicator as any just how girly I am inside. 

When I was a kid I remember my dad getting exasperated with me, trying to man me up. He tried all kinds of things and my parents bought me lots of guy stuff for Christmas but he eventually gave up and blamed my mother for the way I was. I was a quiet kid that kept to myself and preferred to be in my room reading books rather than doing things other boys my age were doing. He managed to talk me into playing little league baseball but I was a pretty terrible player. They encouraged me to make friends with other boys but I came across as just too weird and no one wanted to be my friend. Other kids picked on me and my dad tried to teach me how to fight to defend myself but I never learned how to.

I'm pretty sure that as much as my dad wanted a rough and tumble son and as much as he tried to make me into one I greatly disappointed him and he eventually withdrew from me. My Mom and Dad flat didn't know what to do with me.

When I came out as trans to them many years later they did the proper Christian thing and cut me off entirely 

Quote from: Espeon1990 on June 08, 2015, 05:35:49 PM
Has anybody else ever had someone try to change them and encourage them to dress as the gender they were assigned at birth? I'd love to hear your stories about this subject.

I bet this is more widespread among FAAB than MAAB. If a man dresses as a woman, it's seen as pathology by the ignorant and as a sign of something that can't be changed for those who are supportive of LGBT.

But if someone who is perceived as a woman does it, it's a fashion choice, right? "All y'all need is a good makeover and a fashion education." (Said with heavy irony).

To answer your question, during the 50 years I was a male, dressing as an ordinary male, no one made ANY remarks about my clothing whatsoever.

During my less than two years dressing as an ordinary female, I have had many "friends" tell me what flatters me and what doesn't.

So I think it's more a male/female thing than a cure-someone-of-transness thing.

When I was 11, I was discovered cross dressing in a female cousins underwear. At the time she was 16 and I was staying with them because my Mum was in Hospital. My punishment was a course of 16 sessions of Electro convulsive therapy to cure me of my addiction. I was shown pictures of pornographic pictures of men having sex with other men and given electric shocks to cure me of the affliction. Probably explains why I have only ben interested in all these years of having a relationship with other women, but of course as a woman. Of course back then the Harley Street Doctors and Physciatrists never really understood what Gender dysphoria was all about. Of couse I was never cured. On top of this I was told by everyone (parents, doctors etc) don't be stupid you can never ever be a convincing as a woman. By the time I reached 16 I was convinced that to survive I had to bury deep, deep down in my physce, my true self so as to survive in the world. It was only when I reached the age of 32 that my true self emerged.

 Judithlynn and Eva Marie, I'm sorry that you two have gone through so much. The way society treats Trans people is pretty horrible at times.

I bet this is more widespread among FAAB than MAAB. If a man dresses as a woman, it's seen as pathology by the ignorant and as a sign of something that can't be changed for those who are supportive of LGBT.

But if someone who is perceived as a woman does it, it's a fashion choice, right? "All y'all need is a good makeover and a fashion education." (Said with heavy irony).

To answer your question, during the 50 years I was a male, dressing as an ordinary male, no one made ANY remarks about my clothing whatsoever.

During my less than two years dressing as an ordinary female, I have had many "friends" tell me what flatters me and what doesn't.

So I think it's more a male/female thing than a cure-someone-of-transness thing.
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I agree with that. I think a big reason that's the case is because it's far for socially acceptable for a FAAB to dress in male's clothing, you know the whole "tomboy" thing. I think a lot of people just see that and go, "Oh well she just needs to grow out of tomboy phase and learn how to dress like a proper lady!" Yeah no. I also think that a lot of Trans men go  un-diagnosed because of that. It seems like in some circles of society ftm is just kind of brushed off as being "silly" especially in the eyes of cis women.

Me,I changed myself. I was born in 1957 and hid my feminine side(not very well apparently).By the time I was 14 I hung around with badass kids, got into a fight at least once a week,was regularly drinking and generally not giving a rat's ass about anyone or anything,even myself.I thought that boys were supposed to be like that,I was a pain in the ass.
My sister was a tomboy,there wasn't a janegirl.

Yes, I was encouraged to be more feminine than natural as a kid and teen. I tried to exaggerate my "girliness" to please other people and now I'm not. Now that I'm an adult no one seems to care that I wear mens' clothes. I'm pre T and pre Op.

Mainly in middle school. Mainly I dressed more masculine, and was teased for acting and dressing like a guy. Every once in a while, I would try to avoid the remarks by wearing a skirt which was immediately laughed at because I still walked like a guy and carried my books like one. By the time I got to high school, I gave up on trying to please other people and just dressed like a guy. Boots, jeans and an old army jacket. If I was going to be tormented, I figured I might as well be as comfortable as possible while it was happening.

sam1234

for me, definately had some people try to change you.   my first girlfriend became obsessed with how unmanly i was, and spent a considerable ammount of time trying to get me to act more like a guy, to which, because of my view on relationships that i had at the time with her having been my first girlfriend, i gave in and let her rewrite who i was. 

with the changes that i made at the time, was what took my minor dysphoria cause of my body into a massive depression cycle and led me down to having problems for years till recently when i started connecting the dots.

Can't say anyone has ever tried to change me, I was just made to feel ashamed of my desires since I grew up in a Baptist household and went to a Baptist school from Kindergarten through 12th grade.  I believe my parents stole my thong underwear so I couldn't wear it when I was an early teen though, if that counts.

Funny story though.  My dad told me a couple years ago that when I was younger, he was concerned that I was gay, and he was relieved when I wanted to get some posters to hang up in my room of girls in swimwear.  Oh if only he knew what was ACTUALLY going on inside my head at the time, lol.  Sure I wanted to be with those women in my dreams, but I also wanted to BE those women in my dreams. 

I'm sure the worst is to come though as I finally start heading down the road of transition.

I had one girlfriend years ago who always told me that i was not acting like a man would in certain situations, and would tell my friends the same thing. Luckily i had good friends at the time and they could give a rats behind about it.

More recently my wife ,before I came out to her, wanted me to be more manly in the bedroom and for the life of me I could not figure out what that meant. Even asking her exactly what she wanted I just could not bring myself to fully embrace what she wanted me to do. Now that I am out to her however she understands better who I am and she doesn't ask me to do as much of the "manly" things.

I've had two people try and change me, one being my mother and the other being my ex-wife, who accepted me before we got married. For the longest time I felt like I was worse than scum living on this planet. My current wife fully supports me and keeps telling me that I need to see a therapist to help me along on deciding to transition or not. Which is what I'm going to do and truth be told, I can't wait to start.

Lots of people did in small ways.  Hints here and there to not do something.  A few were very awful and insistent.  One memory of a small thing that greatly affected me when I was in kindergarten, was being told "boys don't talk with their hands".  It was one of those moments I knew I had to act like a boy to fit in.

Do subtle hints from my mother about how much being a woman sucks count? I swear she seems to detest being her gender almost as I hate being mine. Besides that, I have been encouraged to explore more "male" oriented ideas then "female". I.E I had two loves as a kid, cooking and trains. My parents always poked me to play with trains rather then be in the kitchen. Then I got interested in fashion and firearms at the same time around puberty, and even though my father hated guns he provided me plenty of books on their manufacture. (I am very split mind by nature  so this pattern is on going) Mind you, this was all aimed at preventing me from ending up gay, my parents really didn't know what a Trans* person was. Even after I came out to my mother she denies it and blows it off as just "your Feminine side expressing itself" after she caught me with green fingernails from a polish my girlfriend gave me. Also and most insulting of all about three months after my father died, we were going to a store, and she said "You know you and your brother are the last of the -my last name- males?" When I pressed her to as why she brought it up, she just said "you know, just because." Now, go ahead and tell me I'm wrong but that sounded a lot to me like "I want a good legacy so don't screw it up." As always thank you for your time.