I met my therapist today at their main office instead of the rented satellite office. That meant they had their own front door and a unisex bathroom. For the first, I got to change ahead of my appointment AND wear makeup. Very happy.
I still feel weird. It feels right, but I'm not very good with makeup, I still have all my body hair, and my wig is cheapest. I don't feel fat, but I catch myself in the mirror and am reminded what a lumbering ox I am.
I think I spooked my therapist's patient when I arrived. When, I left, there were 2 people in the waiting room, so I kind of kept my head down and headed for the bathroom. When I got in, I looked up into the mirror and saw the woman looking up in my direction, smiling. I smiled back before I closed the door. When I came out in guy mode, she was still there and she once again smiled at me. I know I'm not really ready, mentally or physically, to be outside as Charlotte, but that did feel good.
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