Quote from: jossef-ftm on June 12, 2015, 08:19:38 PM
i don't know actually from where to start cause i deal with so many hurtful things i completely broke and a big part of me will never fix cause i've been in so much pain and abuse i can remember a part of my life i stopped having feelings cause of all the pain i've been through i didn't had feeling no more i felt like a monster i can say i back my humanity but not all of it cause the damage already happened and it can never be fixed it was not just dealing with F clothes i was forced to talk like one to walk like one and i was hit by a lot of family members i still can remember all the blue kicks on my body cause i was trying to be me and that was till i was 15 plus the psychological harm ....
i can't smile to people..i can't show my emotions or talk to people cause i always think they will treat me bad and i was always right...i can't sleep and i always have nightmares about the past...the doctor think i'm autism and refuse to understand all that cause i'm trans and i have identity crisis not autism

I hope as an adult you have emotionally supportive people. If not you should move to an area where people are supportive of things like this.

Quotei don't know actually from where to start cause i deal with so many hurtful things i completely broke and a big part of me will never fix cause i've been in so much pain and abuse i can remember a part of my life i stopped having feelings cause of all the pain i've been through i didn't had feeling no more i felt like a monster i can say i back my humanity but not all of it cause the damage already happened and it can never be fixed it was not just dealing with F clothes i was forced to talk like one to walk like one and i was hit by a lot of family members i still can remember all the blue kicks on my body cause i was trying to be me and that was till i was 15 plus the psychological harm ....i can't smile to people..i can't show my emotions or talk to people cause i always think they will treat me bad and i was always right...i can't sleep and i always have nightmares about the past...the doctor think i'm autism and refuse to understand all that cause i'm trans and i have identity crisis not autism

It's terrible when our family, who should be the best people in our lives, can actually be some of the worst.  I hope you have supportive people in your life these days.

My parents wouldn't let me sign up to play hockey with the boys...this was 30 years ago mind you and it wasn't very common. I did play with them though in the end. My parents said the boys were too rough...it was a terrible excuse because the boys were afraid of me lol...