(I gave up typing this in browser, because the iPad I'm attempting to work on deleted everything I wrote over a dozen times and I'm officially so upset I'm vibrating. So let's see if typing in an app and copying over works, you stubborn piece of tech.)
My name is(or rather, soon will be) Alyxander, I'm 22, FTM, pre-everything except I have been on an over the counter T supp monitored by my doctor for close to four years. I'm out to my mothers side of the family, who is supportive, although they are struggling with pronouns and name due to calling me by a nickname my whole life unrelated to my birth name, but still feminine and could out me.

My dads side, well, I'm really close with me dad, but I tried to tell him when I was 13/14 and first found out trans was even a thing, and he had a total breakdown. Not angry, but he couldn't talk to me for almost three hours, and finally went into this long depressed "Where did I go wrong? What did I do wrong?" speech. I tried to explain its not something that's is anyone's fault, it's who I am, but he made me feel so guilty I just suppressed everything until I finally moved from Pennsylvania(with him) to Florida and finally started to realize I couldn't force myself to be someone else to live up to expectations. I was miserable.

So, intros aside, I need some advice. I've never been able to go to a gynecologist due to severe fear and anxiety, I tried once and literally couldn't take off my jacket and ended up hyperventilating. Not fun. However, I do know I have ovarian cysts, as I was rushed to the ER when I was 18 with a suspected ruptured appendix. Instead they found a cyst burst, more cysts on my ovaries, and they just told me to go to a gynecologist.

Here is my dilemma: I got a referral to start HRT, but I have pretty strong suspicions my cysts have turned into endometriosis already due to a number of symptoms. I have Amerigroup insurance, and according to their rules, you have to have 12 months of HRT and be cleared by two psychologists FIRST before they will cover a hysterectomy.

Does anyone else have Amerigroup, or know how to find out, if there is any way I can possibly get a hysterectomy covered BEFORE doing HRT? I really don't want to go through multiple pelvic exams if I don't have to is kind of what I'm getting at, plus I'm not sure how safe the additional 12 months or more of testosterone will be with the fact I already have cysts.

Hi Alyxander, welcome to Susan's. I hate when that happens too and you get a wonderful post wrote and it's gone. It has happened to all of us from time to time. I look forward to seeing you around the forums. Good luck and Hugs
Mariah

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It would make more sense to me if you got the hysto first as female, then they can't say you have to be on HRT.

I don't know anything about that insurance buT I would call and see if hysto could be covered for your ovary issues. I got my hysto covered for my irregular bleeding from pcos. I had started T only 2 months prior. I figured I could get my hysto covered before I looked too male. I just went and talked to my gyno and she was able to get it done through my insurance.

You could make a consultation appointment with a gynecologic surgeon and discuss your situation...fully, without having a pelvic exam or even removing any clothing.  Just sitting in the office to express your concerns, desires, symptoms, and finding out what, if any, help this doctor may come up with in assisting you to navigate insurance/healthcare.  I think there are still great doctors out there who want their patients to be healthy and thrive, but YOU need to take an active role in seeking their knowledge.  Make sure you know what you want (and Don't want, for that matter) and go find it!

Hi, Magik.  If I am reading you correctly, it sounds like you think that you must see a gyno before starting testosterone?  That isn't something I have known to be a requirement for anyone.

I am sorry it is so hard for you to go to the gyno.

Trace has a great idea about setting up an appt and telling them you just want to talk to someone.  Also, find out if there is a trans group or LGBT center in your area who can recommend a gyno who works with trans people (and therefore someone who "gets it").

Good luck to you.

Gee, I just did what you did. I was at the end of the post and hit the wrong key!

I know you don't want to be seen as a female for any reason, but if you get the hysterectomy for the medical problems you have, insurance should cover it and you won't have to have psychologists to do it. It sounds as if you need to have it anyway, and that would be one more thing crossed off of your transition.

Taking ovaries pretty much stops your body from making estrogen although fat does make some. I'm not sure of this, but without ovaries, the over the counter medications you are taking may make a bigger impact. You will need to tell your surgeon that though, just in case it changes some values in your chemistry panel etc.

I'm sorry your father is having such a hard time over this. Try to remember that what he is saying are typical feelings for parents as far as guilt. Its just that your father voiced them instead of keeping them in his head. Fathers seem to be protective of their girls, and to find out that you are male instead of female may make him feel as though it was his fault. There is also a period of grieving for parents. Your father will gain a son, but he will lose a daughter. It doesn't matter that you are the same person. You have had time to come to terms with it. He hasn't.

There are psychologists who treat the parents of transgenders and are having a hard time with it. See if your present therapist can recommend one for you to give to your father. The information he gets from a third party who specializes may help him get rid of some of the guilt.

The nickname problem will fade. Before I knew I could transition, I was going to a nursing school. I had them call me by a nickname that was male and had nothing to do with my given name. Not even close. They were a little confused, but they did it anyway. Although I graduated, I never sat for the boards because wearing women's clothing daily was so humiliating.

Look into getting an OVH for medical reasons now. Then you will have options.

sam1234