So, it's been a while since I've posted any kind of life updates.  Let's see...

I felt betrayed by my therapist, so the next day I made an appointment with Planned Parenthood so I could feel like I was still actually in charge of my own life.  I figured out that I needed to talk to my therapist about the betrayal and got some good advice here on that and how to handle it.

I confronted my therapist and we both agreed that it was handled poorly and that my honesty with her on that subject was actually improving our relationship.  So at that point, after 4 visits, it felt like I was officially "in therapy" finally, lol.

Last Tuesday I came out to my HR Manager who is located in an office two hours away from mine.  I just happened to be there for a business trip so I took the opportunity to let her know in person rather than making what was sure to be a pretty awkward phone call.  She took it very well and I'm working on pulling together the information we need to setup policy and procedure for my eventual transition since there's nothing on the books right now.  I don't know when that day will be, but I told her it wasn't in the immediate future (this year at least), so no need to worry too much right now.

On Friday (2 days ago), I came out to a coworker at my own office over lunch, the first one that I see everyday and will now be there with a different perspective from everyone else as the changes begin to happen.  Over lunch she told me that there have been secret whisperings going on behind my back of course, but that she's always just told them that if they really want to know what's going on, they needed to ask me.  At that point though she didn't really know anything either.  So she took her own advice and asked me out to lunch, where I laid it all out on the table.  She told me that she suspected I was gay of course since she started working there, and that while this news wasn't necessarily a huge surprise, it wasn't the way she anticipated our conversation going over lunch, hehe.  Nobody ever suspects the T-Bomb!  Bwahahaha.  I answered pretty much all of her questions and helped educate her on the subject.  I think I did pretty well.  Overall, she's a great girl, she's smart, I really enjoy her company, and I trust her to keep my secret for as long as needs be.  She mentioned we should get together for drinks sometime too, yay!  My first girlfriend. 

Now, by this point it's been almost two weeks since the initial feelings of betrayal and my making the appointment with Planned Parenthood.  After making the appointment and talking to you all about how to handle confronting my therapist, I had calmed down tremendously and have basically been a different person for the past almost two weeks now.  I think that with all the research I'd been doing into Trans-related issues over the previous 2 months and what I needed to do to figure out my life, I kinda hit a wall.  I got depressed for a weekend, but then realized that I just needed to get back to living my own life and not worry so much about it all, so I've been much happier and easier to be around, so says my wife

That same day after lunch with my coworker was my appointment with Planned Parenthood.  I was nervous, excited, happy, and eager to learn what I could.  I didn't go in there thinking I was going to walk out with a prescription, and I didn't, but it wasn't far off...  I read over all the paperwork they gave me, talked to the doctor about all of it and gave her the short synopsis of my life up to this point, the things I'd done, the people I'd told, etc...  She gave me a physical with a breast exam, something I've never had before, haha.  Then she gave me a sheet to take and get some bloodwork done so she could make sure I was healthy.

That's when she hit me with the fact that, once I get my blood drawn, the turn around time for results is usually about 48 hours, at which point if everything checks out healthy, she will then call in a prescription for me to my preferred pharmacy!!!

!!!

!!!

So, now the ball is firmly back in my court to go get the bloodwork as that's the only thing holding me back right now to getting my hormone prescriptions!  Both Estradiol and Spiro!

And that's my story for the past two weeks...  Eeek!   It suddenly got real yo!

Congrats Kristina. I'm glad things are going much better since your last update, Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Mariah2014 on June 14, 2015, 09:53:21 AM
Congrats Kristina. I'm glad things are going much better since your last update, Hugs
Mariah

Thanks Mariah, they really are.  I know that was a wall of text, but there has been SO MUCH news over the past 2 weeks, hehe.

It feels so good to be out to some people who know me in person and are so happy for me, it feels so rewarding.  Talking to people on the internet is just much different.  I had never suspected the difference.

Your right it is. There is nothing like being able to talk and do things with people in person. Hugs
Mariah

Quote from: Tristan on June 14, 2015, 10:02:26 AM
Thanks Mariah, they really are.  I know that was a wall of text, but there has been SO MUCH news over the past 2 weeks, hehe.

It feels so good to be out to some people who know me in person and are so happy for me, it feels so rewarding.  Talking to people on the internet is just much different.  I had never suspected the difference.

Quote from: Tristan on June 14, 2015, 09:49:31 AM
It suddenly got real yo!

Hi Tristan,

I am happy that things are going forward for you.  It gives one hope. Sometimes I feel that is all I have - hope.

Yes. HRT.  Things suddenly get real.  That is how I look at it as well.  I have been seeing a therapist for the last ten months, letting my hair grow out, and had my ears pierced.  So far, so good.  Getting my ears pierced was a major hurdle for me, if you can imagine that.  But hormone therapy is where the rubber meets the road, with actual changes to mind and body, and the health risks that go with it. I see my primary care physician this week to get blood work for an endocrinologist appointment later this month.  I'm a little nervous.  I don't know why coming out to my PCP makes me nervous, but it does.  More opportunity for being judged, and being labeled, I guess.

It's hard to keep your head down and your chin up at the same time <sigh>.

Congratulations, for both of you.

I think when a person realizes they need to take action and gets help is the moment, the rest is a natural progression. Although anything new that is so personal is frightening. In time you will realize there are a lot of allies.

Quote from: Maybebaby56 on June 14, 2015, 04:18:52 PM
I see my primary care physician this week to get blood work for an endocrinologist appointment later this month.  I'm a little nervous.  I don't know why coming out to my PCP makes me nervous, but it does.  More opportunity for being judged, and being labeled, I guess.

It's hard to keep your head down and your chin up at the same time <sigh>.

Don't fret. I know it's hard and it's awkward, but trust me when I say that it gets easier the more you say it. The people at Planned Parenthood call me Kristina, that's awkward too for me right now.  The more I hear it though, the easier it gets.  I recommend expanding who you tell, stranger-wise at least.  The more people you tell who are accepting of such things, the easier it'll get for you.  That's my experience at least.  Doctors, support groups, etc...

Good luck out there!

Haven't heard from the doctor yet...  Hopefully soon or tomorrow!  Can't wait!  I'm so psyched about starting HRT!

         

Do you know what medications your doctor will prescribe? Do you have options or choices?

Congrats on the beginning of your journey! E

Quote from: Cynthia Michelle on June 18, 2015, 04:58:22 AM
Do you know what medications your doctor will prescribe? Do you have options or choices?

She said she would be prescribing sublingual Estradiol and oral Spironolactone in a pretty low dose to start, and then basically doubling my dosage at 3 months intervals for the first year.  Presuming the blood tests came back alright at each interval.

I wonder at what point in the next year I should ask about Progesterone.

Still haven't heard from the doctor yet so I'll just sit here and tap my foot some more...

Yay, Tristan!

Quote from: Tristan on June 15, 2015, 12:34:39 AM

Don't fret. I know it's hard and it's awkward, but trust me when I say that it gets easier the more you say it. The people at Planned Parenthood call me Kristina, that's awkward too for me right now.  The more I hear it though, the easier it gets.  I recommend expanding who you tell, stranger-wise at least.  The more people you tell who are accepting of such things, the easier it'll get for you.  That's my experience at least.  Doctors, support groups, etc...

Good luck out there!

Well, you were right.  I had my appointment this morning with my physician.  She said, "Wow your hair has gotten long, it looks like your making some changes!"  And I thought, "Yes. Yes, I certainly am", and proceeded to tell her that I identified as transgender, and that I have been seeing a therapist, etc.  She was remarkably matter-of-fact about it. "How long have you felt this way?" I kind of stumbled on, giving her a brief story of my path.  Then we talked about my upcoming endocrinologist visit and what blood work needed to be done.  Just like that, the whole worrisome scene was over, without any drama or embarrassment.

The best part was looking over the electronic printout (her office uses an electronic system that provides you with a printed summary of whatever went on for each visit), and under "Diagnoses" was "Transgendered".  There it is.  It's "official", lol!  It's in my medical records that I am a transgender person.  It feels good.  It feels honest.  It gives me hope.

Quote from: Maybebaby56 on June 18, 2015, 06:33:59 PM
Yay, Tristan!

Well, you were right.  I had my appointment this morning with my physician.  She said, "Wow your hair has gotten long, it looks like your making some changes!"  And I thought, "Yes. Yes, I certainly am", and proceeded to tell her that I identified as transgender, and that I have been seeing a therapist, etc.  She was remarkably matter-of-fact about it. "How long have you felt this way?" I kind of stumbled on, giving her a brief story of my path.  Then we talked about my upcoming endocrinologist visit and what blood work needed to be done.  Just like that, the whole worrisome scene was over, without any drama or embarrassment.

The best part was looking over the electronic printout (her office uses an electronic system that provides you with a printed summary of whatever went on for each visit), and under "Diagnoses" was "Transgendered".  There it is.  It's "official", lol!  It's in my medical records that I am a transgender person.  It feels good.  It feels honest.  It gives me hope.

Yay!  Good for you!  It's one thing to think you're transgender, it's one thing to say it out loud to yourself in the mirror, it's something entirely different to say it to another human being, face-to-face.  It's a big step, but it's easier than we make it out to be, and it just gets easier and easier to say it as time goes by.  Telling family, now that's something entirely different and I haven't had to do it yet.

I'm so happy for you, I really am.  And I'm wondering if that's the E giving me this bubbly happy feeling, or the Twizzlers I'm eating and twirling around my finger like the long hair I wish I had, lol.  I just took my first dose a few hours ago, sublingually, and I think it's starting to kick in, hehe.

Yep, it's official, I'm on HRT now!  Wooooooooo!

3 days in and my wife says I'm already a better spouse. 

boob pain!!!

Congratulations

So, I just drank half a packet of soy sauce...  Stupid Spiro side-effects.....

The breast pain only last a couple days, and now it's pretty much non-existant.  The nipples seem sensitive to touching/rubbing maybe, but that's it for now.  No nodules forming that I can tell.  But it's only been about 10 days, and I'm on a really low dose from what I've been reading.     I think I've been experiencing other symptoms though like moodiness and hot flashes, lol.

Quote from: Tristan on June 30, 2015, 01:41:20 PM
So, I just drank half a packet of soy sauce...  Stupid Spiro side-effects.....

Spironolactone depletes sodium. hehe!

QuoteI think I've been experiencing other symptoms though like moodiness and hot flashes, lol.

Sometimes, symptoms of low estrogen. You need to discuss this with your physician.