Well, most recently I've identified myself as an FtM transsexual whose gender is actually androgynous.
However, even though I'm generally very comfortable with this identity, lately I've begun to fancy the idea of crossdressing as a woman/girl. I really enjoy Lolita fashion and love to dress up in those Victorian dresses. But I'm trying to function socially as a man in a female body. I'm trying to begin HRT and have top surgery and yet I occasionally get the intense urge to have long hair again and frilly frocks and petticoats.

I really do strongly identify with the male body and desire that my own should be a close as possible to that of a cisgendered male but I love little girls' clothes.

Are there other FtMtF crossdressers out there? Is it possible? Is it practical to transition from FtM if I'm just going to wear girls' clothes anyway?

I'm feeling very conflicted. *sigh*

Why do you want a male body if you want to wear frilly frocks?
I HATED wearing frilly frocks as a kid.

Well, I only sometimes want to wear frilly frocks and I always want a male body. This is a recent development, also. I hated dresses as a kid.

Plus, I don't necessarily think that frilly frocks would look bad on a male body. Or.. my body, were it male.

So, do you feel that you're male? And you just like dresses? I sometimes think men crossdress because of the lack of wardrobe variety.

Well, yes, I do just like dresses. Do I feel male? That's a much harder question.

There are those who are FtN (female to neutral). A lot actually. It's not so far fetched that some androgynes tend to the extremes. I'm male but I do enjoy some stereotypically girly things, not dresses, though.

I'll have to consider that, I suppose.

You don't have to label yourself. Just explore who you are. It can be quite the journey.

It's very stressful, though I suppose that it doesn't have to be. Thank you for the encouragement.

Yeah, it can be stressful. I didn't want to admit to myself I was trans. It was painful to so. To acknowledge it. I imagine it's the same for anyone gendered outside the norm cisgender. PM if you ever want to talk or unload or anything. I'm here for you buddy.

Thank you so much, .

I look forward to chewing the fat with you.

If I may,  it sounds to me you need something soft and feminine in your life.  I don't know what your interests are but I am 100% positive you can find someone to fill a void, even if temporary.  This would go into exploring who you are.  There is no right and wrong about it.   Take your time and ask yourself what you feel you need/want.

Is it really you that wants to wear the dress?  Or do you Identify the dress as being something feminine and soft and you feel you need that kind of comfort.

Basically just be honest with yourself about how you feel.  You will work it out I am sure.

Best of luck to you.

Hi Milo,

    I believe our friend, Wishy, went through this last year or so.  I remember a thread by him where he was going through pretty much what you described.
    Maybe you can ask him about it.

   The thread is here:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,10249.msg73449.html#msg73449

   
Hope it helps some.  I like what 's been saying to you too.


Rebis

Quote from: Milo on November 26, 2007, 01:54:41 PM
I really do strongly identify with the male body and desire that my own should be a close as possible to that of a cisgendered male but I love little girls' clothes.

Hi Milo, I totally understand what you're saying.  I have thought about wearing Japanese school sailor outfits before... in a male body of course. To me it's not weird at all.

Quote from: OtokoSuki on December 08, 2007, 05:57:13 PM

Quote from: Milo on November 26, 2007, 01:54:41 PM
I really do strongly identify with the male body and desire that my own should be a close as possible to that of a cisgendered male but I love little girls' clothes.

Hi Milo, I totally understand what you're saying.  I have thought about wearing Japanese school sailor outfits before... in a male body of course. To me it's not weird at all.

it is if you live in the tundra.